Self Improvement Tips

Increasing Your Self-Esteem - 15 Steps to Freedom

2010-02-25T12:04:00.000-08:00

Low Self-Esteem is like a demon that sits on our shoulder and constantly nags at us about our failures, appearance, short-comings and real or imagined mistakes.

Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight. Yet, if you are committed to the process you have the capacity to slowly start harnessing a high self-esteem.

15 Steps To Raise Your Self-Esteem

1. Commit yourself completely:

Commit to tackle the issue of Self-esteem. Build the conviction that you CAN beat low self-esteem and that you WILL commit yourself fully to do so. Share this commitment with others and tell them what behavior they should expect from you. E.g. you will reduce negative self-talk about yourself.

2. Stop putting yourself down:

You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Start noticing what kind of chatter your mind 'Golum' (that ugly creature that lurks in the dark to create trouble) is telling you. Refuse to accept this negative self-talk anymore.

3. Forgive yourself for the past:

The past is the past... STOP dwelling on it. Just learn from your experience and do not blame yourself for things that you had no control over.

4. List your positive qualities:

Are you Unselfish? Honest? Helpful? Thoughtful? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 10 positive qualities. Feel the qualities within you as you read them and take them with you everywhere.-

5. List your past successes:

Sit down and reflect on all the achievements you did over the past few years - and write them down. It can include your "minor victories," like learning to drive a car, graduating from school, etc. Read this list often and visualize yourself living that moment......recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced and bring the feelings back to your present state. .

6. Stop comparing yourself to others:

Some people have more than you but there are also others who have less- you may be choosing to look at the 'half empty glass'. If you play the comparison game, you'll end up focusing on what you do not have control over, rather than what you can actually change.

7. Use power statements:

Create empowering statements that help to align your mind towards positive thoughts e.g.

''I am a confident person and I deserve success"

"I am a wonderful person of immense value who deserves to be loved"

Repeat such statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning.

8. Take a Self-help Program or read books that empower you.

Whatever material you sustain your mind with will dominate and eventually take root to affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports that sell on bad news; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. On the other hand if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature and inspire you, it will be eaiser to choose to be influenced by these positive characteristics. -

9. Associate with positive people:

When you are surrounded by negative 'wet blanket' people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you will feel better about yourself. So make a CONSICIOUS CHOICE of the people who you choose to be with. Also make sure you find someone with whom you can share your feelings in a non-judgemental fashion. If needs be, seek professional help especially if you feel any symptoms of depression.

10. Accept compliments with a 'thank-you':

Don't answer with a," Oh, it was nothing." when you receive a compliment. When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple 'Thank You' and FEEL GOOD about it!

11. Do activities you truly enjoy:

You won' t feel good spending your time doing activities that you despise. Find something that really inspires you and helps you build your confidence. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, devote leisure time to hobbies and activities which you find stimulating and enjoyable.

12. Give more:

I'm not talking about giving money for charities.

What I'm referring to is giving more of yourself to those around you. The more you give the more you will receive because through each act of contribution you will understand that you are making a difference in other people's lives. By making a positive contribution you will begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn raises your own self-esteem.

13. Be who you truly are:

Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. It's important to start exploring what your True Core Values are and who you would like to be as a person.

14. Take ACTION!

You won't develop high self-esteem if you walk away from challenges or remain an inactive participant of life. When you take action - regardless of the result - you feel better about yourself. The fact that you have taken a conscious decision to take an action will help you to feel more empowered. So work on creating more friendships and take risks in trying out new things that give you a sense of achievement.

15. Relax:

When you get the urge to think negative thoughts especially about any past experience pull yourself back into the present by deepening your breathing. The awareness of the breathing will keep you focused on the here and now where you should be.

Start taking these small actions everyday and there will come a day when you will feel that you can fly with the eagles!

To receive a FREE Report that provides information on the 10 Vital Keys to Life Success and other resources visit http://www.insightzonecoach.com. or http://www.insightzonecoach.com/blog Reggie Aquilina is the Founder of Insight Zone Academy. He is a Life Coach and works in the field of Adult Learning and Development. He is actively involved in providing e-learning resources related to Life Coaching and he is the creator of the Life Coaching Home Study Course: The 10 PowerKeys Program.

10 Happiness Secrets

2010-02-25T12:02:00.000-08:00

Happiness is difficult to attain, it is something that we cannot buy by money nor can borrow from somebody, people live with different targets and purposes in life, but to achieve those target we need peace of mind and happiness, usually it is difficult to understand the reasons for consecutive failure, poor performances or loss of good people around us, if we deeply contemplate we will find that we are lacking happiness in life which is putting negative impression on our attitudes and performance that put out undesirable results. The following points can help in adopting habits and building attributes to live a happy life.

1. Believe in destiny: Destiny rules; we should welcome what destiny brings us. Expressions like "I will change my destiny" or "that will change your destiny" are all exaggerations that are logically denied since nothing can change our destiny. As we are incapable to see our future so we can not perceive what destiny brings us the next minute, usually people are called lucky because their destinies brought them lots of prosperities and based on their prosperous record people know them as lucky. Always wish for the best and believe in your destiny, do not blame a whole day because of a small incident early in the morning which lasted for few minutes, wait to see, there are still lots of good awaiting your way.

2. Stay in present: the fear of future can eradicate your happy present moments, and past which is gone long ago can put negative effects on your present. Furnish your present by involving yourself in best things to do, eliminate any worrying memories since those are ones that can definitely reverse your mind back into failing situations, future is to come, so let it come and be hopeful that it will come along with a bunch of happiness and success.

3. Help others: there is no religion which prohibits helping others, and based on research and studies those with helping attitude are more likely to be happy than ones who are less helpful. Helping others result in mutual satisfaction, a sense of relaxation and comfort forms when we see somebody happy after receiving help. Whether it is a big one or small, helps are always deeply appreciated.

4. Stay alone for a while everyday: a busy day with people around, communicating with different groups, answering phone calls, chatting with friends and so on keep our brain so much loaded that we will not even notice how tired our brain is being involved in those activities. As physically we need rest so we do mentally. Find somewhere restful, you can even lock your room for some minutes and stay alone, do not think about anything, keep your eyes closed and feel like you got no responsibilities at all, if not for real but that short while the sense of ease from all aspects can generate positive results.

5. Make friends: choose your friends carefully with whom you have frequent contact, maintaining good friendship brings happiness, sharing happy moments with friends can double the joy for you and your friend. There is give and take among friends, which means if today you invite your friend for you party, next time they will invite you, this way the chain does not break and the happiness lights are on.

6. Care for your family: Family is where you get birth, grow up and age. Love, intimacy, dependency, care and lot more are found only when families are made, a single man may not experience different faces of life unless he lives in a family. We live with our parents, brothers and sisters in a family, that's how we are connected, to maintain this connection and live life with these none found elements of life we have to care for them. Help them when they need it and enjoy best and blessed moments with them, so then you can say life is good.

7. Choose an art: choosing an art like painting, learning to play musical instruments, photography or similar arts can keep you entertained all the time, it is fun to have or learn an art, gradually your creation will change to recreation when you have some refined results in hand, you can share those with people and enjoy your work.

8. Laugh out loud: even if it is a small joke, give it a big smile, researchers have found that laughter eliminates stress, reduces potential heart disease and brings joyous moments. If you know something funny or hilarious share it with others and laugh a while together, laughing with someone else can maximize the fun and happiness generated from that particular situation.

9. Listen to elders/take advice: even though technology has improved so much and youths never care for what is passed but experience can teach you lot than what you try to learn, asking elders for some advice regarding issues can give you a great idea of how to find solutions for problems, obviously when problems are solved or you have the potential to solve them you can feel pleased. Elders have witnessed different incidents, ups and downs of life, there is no doubt everyone faces problems in life and so do the elders whom we think may not realize what we see today, but the fact is that similar problems are everywhere around the world and majority of those are solved through different suggestions from different people, best source for those suggestions are elders.

10. Love and worship God: God is who knows what to do next. The good servant under his Lord's guidance and protection can face challenges of life and reach where he thinks he can't. God is the best leader for us and best provider, so if we love Him and worship Him we can be blessed with affluence and bliss from Him. Relying only on God can redeem us from sorrows, and free us from any disappointments and unhappiness.

If you make up your mind to be happy, you will be even happier.

Asadullah Azad

13 Habits of Extremely Abundant & Sexy Women

2010-02-19T08:26:00.001-08:00

Would you like to attract more abundance in your life? Would you like to exude raw sex appeal? What does sex have to do with success? Your sexuality is part of your creativity, which draws more abundance to you. Do you know how you look on the outside is a reflection about how you feel inside. The better you look, the better you feel, the more success you will attract. The path of true abundance comes from spending time, thought, and energy on those areas of your life that are the most fulfilling to you. Overtime, this is how you create the life you've always wanted & step into the highest version of yourself. Here are some quick tips that will undoubtedly lead to a beautiful & rich life!

1. Make Your Mess Magnificent - The sure fire way to be abundant is to be authentic. Stop worrying about what other people think & just be you. The more mistakes you learn from the more you grow. Repeat after me. I am perfectly, imperfect! Sitting pretty and trying to be perfect won't get you very far. Be the best you, amidst the mess. That's how you Perfect Your Potential™.

2. Be A Solo Artist - You can have it all but you can't be all to everyone. Take time to be by yourself. Be still to recharge, find peace & bring more of your inner beauty to the surface. Self-care is so important. When you take time for yourself it's a reflection of your self-worth. Beauty is not just vanity, it's valuing yourself.

3. The Beauty Of It All - The better you look, the better you feel, you better your chances of having it all. To think of beauty exclusively from a vanity prospective is an injustice. Beauty is involved in your daily tasks & is everywhere in the world around you. You must open your eyes & open your mind to experience it all. There are 7 strategies that I feel one must consistently implement to have a beautifully successful life from the inside/out.

4. Your Presence Is A Present - Do you see your value? Do you feel like you are a gift? Life is supposed to bring perpetual happiness. Enjoy yourself; surround yourself with others that see the beauty within you. The better you treat yourself, the better you will find life treating you. When you show up at your best you make the world a better place.

5. Faking It Is Not Allowed - Stop pretending to be something you are not. Being sexy means telling the truth & being honest with others when it comes to things that aren't aligning with your core values. In order to discover your true-worth and break the cycle of self-sacrifice, follow your heart. Live on purpose & with immense passion.

6. Laugh Out Loud - Do you know laughing makes it easier for you to cope with different challenges in life. It improves and strengthens your immune system and helps prevent a number of diseases. Play, have fun, go to a comedy show or watch a funny movie. Make time to laugh out loud.

7. The Cool Chic - Hot headed is not a trait that will make the men come running. Remain calm, cool & collective no matter what. In the event you slip up and throw a temper tantrum take a deep breath, regain your composure & set a positive intention to realign your energy. Giving good vibrations will always make you magnetic!

8. Live To Give - What have you done for other's lately? Giving is one of the most beautiful gestures! Whenever I feel like my life is not moving smoothly. I immediately look around & see if I'm being selfish & blocking my gifts due to lack of sowing first; reaping comes second. It's great to receive but like my mentor Bobi said so eloquently "Live To Give". Get to moving & give. It's the quickest way to attract abundance into your life. Being of service is tres chic & very sexy.

9. A Heart of Platinum - Open your heart & let everyone in. Love should never discriminate. Also remember to practice self-love. To be loved and accepted, you must start by loving yourself. Whatever you don't like about yourself find a way to love it anyway. There's nothing sexier than a woman that fully embodies self-love.

10. Spice Up Your Spiritual Side - Spirituality is not about what you're doing; it's about who you're being. If you want more beauty, more love, more abundance & more sex (yes I said sex). I highly suggest you turn to God. Set aside time to be with the divine. Find a place of worship, pray & meditate to keep you aligned with God. He is our abundant source.

11. Let It Go - Freeing your mind allows you to make room for more beauty & abundance in your life. Let go of the past. Stop carrying your problems in your purse. Release anger & resentment regularly after allowing yourself to feel these emotions fully. If you want to throw a hissy fit-fine but move on fast. Also you must be willing to let go of negative people, dream stealers & energy vampires. Saying good-bye to that which is no longer enriching your life is essential.

12. Be A Change Diva - It's time to change from the inside/out. Be open to new experiences, new looks & new ideas. Creativity is your birthright. Make it a habit to keep expanding your awareness and learning new things. If you are not growing you are not living. Women that are sexy have a knack for changing things up. They are not afraid to evolve which makes them drop-dead desirable.

13. Thanking Queen - A woman that knows how to be grateful is so sexy. Live with a glass half-full mentality. Practicing gratitude regularly is a powerful way to attract more abundance in your life. Look around & relish on the gifts of today. Focusing on what is good leads to the great. BTW...to make stunning advances you must learn to value your own life and your own gifts as much as you've been taught to value and nurture the lives of others.

© 2009 Ungenita Beauty International, LLC.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: After spending 10+ years in Hollywood as an Actress/Dancer/Body Double Ungenita Prevost learned how to Perfect Her Potential ™. Today she shows women all over the world how to discover their value & increase their self-worth. Named the Tony Robbins of Beauty. She's the world's first Beauty Empowerment Author/Speaker on a mission to show you how to Be Sexy, Love Who You Are and Make More Money all by bringing the beauty back into your life! She is a contributing writer & The Beauty Expert for American Medical Aesthetics, get your BILLION DOLLAR BEAUTY ESSENTIALS now at http://www.thebilliondollarbeauty.com

Email: info@TheBillionDollarBeauty.com

Overcome Your Shyness and Come Out of Your Shell

2010-02-19T08:13:00.000-08:00

Shyness can feel very unpleasant, as anyone who has experienced it knows only too well. It can be hard work to be in any social setting when you feel shy and more often than not the sense of awkwardness and self-consciousness can make you reconsider accepting future invitations. It can seem easier just to stay at home alone!

Statistics suggest that up to 50% of people have suffered from shyness in various situations at some time of their lives. It is most common among teenagers, but can affect anyone and is often associated with social inexperience and being overly self-conscious. Adults may find that their shyness can actually get worse over time, especially is they continue to remain very self-conscious in social settings and dread drawing attention to themselves in any way. In this respect, shyness can really damage a person's confidence, not only in social gatherings, but in all aspects of their life. Yet, the good news is that it is possible to overcome shyness and increase confidence although both goals require a little determination and effort.

As mentioned earlier, shy people don't like to stand out in a crowd. They don't feel worthy of positive attention and so think people are looking at them and criticising their faults. This, of course, is rarely true, but to a shy person it is something they feel is happening each time they venture to a party or a conference or a meeting. The key here is for the shy person to start to feel good about themselves - this is the first step to overcoming shyness. We are all different and all wonderfully individual and all of us have good qualities and talents. The greater your confidence, the happier you are with your differences and the more likely you are to celebrate your best qualities rather than try to hide them.

Start to write down all the good qualities you have - you will find that you have more than you first anticipated. Cherish these qualities and the things you have accomplished in your life. Keep this list with you every day, especially when you are meeting people and within time you will start to project these qualities to others because your confidence will be strong enough to do so. You will feel good about yourself and no longer self-conscious about perceived faults and you will undoubtedly start come out of your shell. Practice small conversations at first if you feel nervous in the beginning about speaking to people - perhaps a short chat with a cashier in a shop or a waitress in a restaurant.

Another important step to overcoming your shyness is to stop comparing yourself to others. Comparisons often lead to feelings of insecurity which will make your shyness worse. Instead of focusing on what people look like or how outgoing they appear, concentrate instead on what they say and really listen - don't plan your response prior to the speaker finishing what they are saying. We are all so much more than our exteriors, so focusing heavily on our appearance is a mistake.

When you focus on what other people are saying it takes away your own self-consciousness plus it makes the other person feel worthy and important. Making others feel good about themselves is a gift, and you never know, you might be helping someone else overcome their shyness and help them come out of their shell.

To find out more about building your confidence and self esteem, visit http://www.self-confidence-matters.com

Contribute to the World in Significant Ways - How? Self-Awareness, Exploring Options & Taking Action

2010-02-15T07:58:00.000-08:00

A devastating earthquake in Haiti. Sexual abuse of thousands of women and girls throughout our war-torn world. American families forced from their foreclosed homes - homelessness on the rise. Smog-filled skies and polluted rivers. Shuttered businesses - 12.3% unemployment nationwide, and growing. Under-funded schools, unconscionable dropout rates. Drug-gang violence....

As the world's woes bombard us from every direction, and appeals for help flood our email and mail boxes, so is it natural for each of us to feel both overwhelmed and anxious to do something significant to help, somehow.

This is when the suffocating questions begin to suffuse our thoughts about taking action. 'Where do I begin? What is the most pressing problem? I am just one person; how can my limited resources make a dent in all that needs to be done? Where can I make the biggest impact?' While each of these questions is valid, rather than helping us take focused action, they often have the opposite effect; they force us into knee-jerk responses at best, and an utter standstill at worst.

How can we move from this unsatisfying place to one where we consciously commit ourselves and our resources to causes that matter both to the world and to us?

Yes, both components - positively impacting the world and ourselves - are key. Why? Because sharing our resources from a win-win place means that we are expressing our authentic selves in response to the world's needs. Finding and sticking with these matches enables us to give freely and joyfully. As important, saying 'Yes' from our authentic selves to specific causes and organizations frees us from guilt about saying 'No, thank you' to others.

I propose 3 steps towards commitment that may be repeated yearly, biannually, or whenever there's a change in your life warranting review of your current choices:

SELF-AWARENESS--EXPLORING THE OPTIONS--TAKING ACTION Step 1: SELF-AWARENESS 1. Ask yourself, "What do I care about right now?"

For example: the environment; women's issues; animal rights; domestic and international poverty alleviation; healthcare; literacy...

Prioritize your top 2-6 choices. Save the others for the future (or for others who have them at the top of their lists).

2. Then ask yourself, "What are my specific, realistic, available resources that I'd like to share?"

(see categories below with examples)

a. special skills and/or hobbies - personal finance how-tos, athletics

b. financial contributions - amount quarterly, semi-annually, annually

c. volunteering/pro bono work - what type, how often, duration

d. other donations - clothing, books, food, giving blood

e. providing connections - government officials, educators, business leaders...

f. other -...

Once you've identified types/amounts/times above...

3. Merge 1 and 2 - what matters to you now + the resources you can and want to contribute. *At this point you may not know the specific organization(s) you'll be volunteering for, or contributing to, but you will know the cause(s) you're enthusiastically and realistically ready to put your resources behind.

Step 2: EXPLORING THE OPTIONS

Now that you've merged your whats with your hows, you're ready to move to exploration. It's a great way to connect with others and discover what resonates with YOU.

1. Ask: friends and colleagues via email, facebook, linkedin, twitter, face to face

2. Research the Web: key terms/organizations serving your causes

3. Visit/Interview: an organization and others who've committed to organizations you're targeting

4. Check-in with yourself. 'Am I excited about being involved in this cause? Is this organization where I want to put my time and/or resources?' If so, move to Step 3. If not, move to the next cause or organization on your list until you find the 'right' fit for YOU.

Step 3: TAKE ACTION

1. Say 'Yes' to causes and organizations that resonate with YOU.

2. Enjoy the commitment(s) you've made to make a positive difference in the world

P.S. If you're interested in viewing the commitments I've made to assist Haiti, please visit my blog:

dewhitaker blog-Helping Haiti

Dana E. Whitaker is president of Opening Eyes, LLC, a business committed to helping individuals reach their personal and professional goals with courage, clarity and (self-) compassion. As a coach, Dana helps her clients become more self-aware so that in expanding who they are, they may expand both what they want to, and believe they can do including: following a passion from start to finish, successfully navigating significant life and career transitions, creating healthy boundaries, developing effective communication strategies and satisfactorily managing work/life commitments and priorities. Dana offers individual and group coaching options. She graduated from Newfield Network, an International Coach Federation (ICF) certified coaching program.
Additionally, as an author, Dana's stories and accompanying color photographs in her book, Transforming Lives $40 at a Time, Women + Microfinance: Upending the Status Quo, bring readers face-to-face and heart-to heart with the dreams, fears, and successes of some of the world's poorest women from five continents who, having harnessed their profound courage and resourcefulness, are using microfinance loans and business training to transform both their lives and those of their families - inside and out. Dana speaks to groups around the country - businesses, universities, churches, schools, bookstores, women's and philanthropy groups - sharing not only these women's inspiring stories, but also her own passion-to-publish-to-coaching transformation.
To learn more about Dana and Opening Eyes, LLC, please visit: http://www.openingeyes.net

Five Things I Learned in 2009 About Success, Failure and Love

2010-02-15T07:54:00.000-08:00

Although 2009 has not been a completely easy year for most people to grow and make gains, you can get a lot of knowledge from your challenges and frustrations. We face many obstacles to reaching our goals no matter what the circumstances. If you focus on ways to overcome these obstacles and deal with them, you will be a much stronger business person for having done it. You will have more internal strength and confidence if you learn to turn obstacles into opportunities.

Here goes. These are some of the things that I learned from 2009 and I hope you can learn from them too.

1. Always Trust Your Gut Instincts.

When you are trying to make important decisions, your instincts usually the best guide for making the right choices. Find the information you need to help you in making the best decision, and then go with your hunch. Many things are decided best by using common sense. That is simply using your gut reaction. When many of us go against our hunches, we usually end up paying a heavy price for it.

2. Don't Overuse Your Strengths or They will Become Your Weaknesses.

My strengths are collaborating and getting the right people connected for a successful outcome to a project. I get others together to make a far greater outcome than I could do on my own. It became apparent to me that I over used my collaborating skills sometimes and I created a sort of co-dependence on other people. Remember that to align with others is good if it is to balance strengths. It is not so good if you are trying to compensate for your weaknesses.

3. Learn When to Pull the Plug on a Losing Project.

There are times that, out of loyalty and hard headedness, we keep pushing ahead on projects that are not in our best interest. When we first start out, we are excited about an outcome and it is hard to give up the fight, but sometimes it is best for all concerned to stop wasting time and effort on something that is just not likely to work out. This includes letting a person go from your team. Loyalty can be the wrong reason to keep someone who is misplaced. You will hold them back also. This may also involve stopping a pet project that you were sure would work. Sometimes accepting the fact that you need to stop something early can be best for all concerned.

4. Don't Take Failures Personally.

This is a hard thing to do sometimes. When you have a few setbacks, no big deal, you just get up and go on. When you start to have more than a few though, things can get a little depressing. You sometimes need to call on your support team, to help you pull yourself up by your boot straps and get moving. Failures are opportunities to learn something new and use it to reach higher ground. You need to have a good support system that you can lean on or fall on every now and then, but don't let your failures wear you down. They are obstacles in the road that you can deal with and overcome.

5. Look for Success in Ways Other Than Monetary Measurements.

This year I met someone who has added more to my life than I ever thought possible. I met my soul mate, a man that I am truly in love with and happy with. He is not even in my industry. He understands what my purpose in life is though, and is very supportive of my efforts. He is just as committed to personal growth, financial success and helping others as I am. We look in the same direction and have the same vision. So success can come in unexpected ways. Be open to seeing all possibilities.

What lessons about failure, success, and love did you learn for yourself in 2009? Author, life coach, and entrepreneur Melanie Strick can help! Click this link for more info on how you can diversify your income to create more stability: CEO Success Strategies.

Learn How to Gain Confidence Naturally and Enjoy a Happy Life!

2010-02-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

Do you suffer from stress, anxiety or depression? Do you often feel like a misfit in your own skin? Do you avoid going places and doing exciting things because you worry about what other people may think about you? Are you constantly telling yourself how awful you are or how bad you feel? Do you feed your mind with negative thoughts continuously? Perhaps you are suffering from low self-esteem because of all the negativity in your life. Do you know that if you continually think negative thoughts that positive things have no room to move into your life? It is true?

However, you can do something about this; you can make a difference in your life. You can gain your sense of self-confidence, when you take an active part in doing the things you need to do to reprogram the way you think about certain things and the way you feel in particular situations. One of the first things you need to understand when you are suffering from low self-esteem and you want to build your confidence is that it will take some work on your part. You will have to learn how to reprogram the way you think. You will have to get rid of our negative thoughts, and then replace them with positive thoughts. Sometimes this is much easier to say than it is to do. However, when you are committed for making such a positive difference in your life, you can do just that. Keep in mind that you should be patient with yourself while you learn to become a more confident you.

When you are able to boost your self-confidence, you can face anything that comes your way. When you continually feed your subconscious mind with positive reinforcement and positive affirmations, you can succeed in building your confidence to higher levels. However, in order to learn how to build self-confidence naturally and enjoy a happy life you need to find a program that will work for you. Sure, many individuals may turn to medication to help them adjust, some may even use alcohol or mood altering drugs to help them feel more self-confidence. Nevertheless, this is a false sense of confidence and it will never progress into anything that is productive or reliable. There are easier, healthier and better means of boosting your self-confidence.

Rather than making use of something that creates a false sense of confidence, you will be much better off using something proven to work for everyone. Once you find the right type of program and put the time and effort required to make such a difference in your life, you will act and feel so much different. You can awake and enhance your sense of self-esteem. You can control your life and the way you think and act according to any particular situation.

With your newly found sense of confidence, you are free to conquer the world and make it yours. You will no longer worry about making a fool of yourself. You will not worry about what anyone else may think of you. You can become familiar and comfortable in your own skin and make the type of impression on others that you always wanted too.

T S Gill is a researcher. His main focus is to help people to gain their self confidence naturally. For more information and guidance please visit: http://www.gainyourconfidence.com

Stop Trying to Be Normal

2010-02-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

It undermines your success and keeps you in a state of mediocrity. It's an interesting phenomenon.

This idea of being "normal" starts to take hold in high school. There begins to form this desire to "fit in" - to be part of a group. Or at least, not be singled out as someone who "doesn't fit in". Along with that comes the desire to be an "insider". This need to belong and to be an insider can be very strong for many people.

Although the challenges and insecurities from our high school days are long gone, that need to belong - to be part of the group - to be accepted - to belong - can still be very strong. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted and/or wanting to fit in, but when this "wanting" turns to "needing", it becomes detrimental to a person's success.

This often occurs when a person has an "external frame of reference" rather than an "internal frame of reference". Having an external frame of reference means looking outside of one's self to determine the truth of things. Things like right vs. wrong, appropriate vs. inappropriate, and successful vs. unsuccessful. When a person has an external frame of reference, they look to others for approval. They base their self-worth and their self-image on what others think and say about them.

Conversely, having an internal frame of reference means looking within one's self to determine the truth of things; to determine right vs. wrong, appropriate vs. inappropriate, and successful vs. unsuccessful. When a person has an internal frame of reference, they don't look to others for approval. I'm not saying recognition and acknowledgment aren't meaningful to someone with an internal frame of reference. I'm simply saying that they aren't the driving forces for their actions. Someone with an internal frame of reference bases their self-worth and their self-confidence on what they know to be true about themselves.

Which brings us back to the idea of being "normal". Most people consider themselves to be "normal" and consequently most groups of people consider themselves to be "normal". Therefore, in order to remain part of the group, one needs to remain "normal."

And being "normal" - by definition - means being "average". Consequently, many people - in an attempt to fit in and belong - spend their lives striving to be average. Sometimes they do it consciously and sometimes they do it unconsciously. Sometimes it's done by intent and sometimes inadvertently. But it happens nonetheless...

A person is striving to be average (or "normal") when they work hard to meet a quota rather than exceed it. A person is striving to be average when they purposely minimize themselves and their dreams so that their associates, family and/or friends don't belittle them for dreaming big. A person strives to be average by "playing it safe" - not in terms of taking physical or financial risks, but in terms of taking the risks inherent in hoping for, dreaming of, and working towards the things that would set you apart from the others.

It takes courage to break away from "normal"; to separate oneself from the crowd. You risk not fitting in and not being accepted by the group of people you've been a part of. You risk feeling embarrassed if you don't achieve your goals when you said you would. You risk being disappointed and frustrated.

But when you reach your goals - when you realize your dreams - you will know that you are not "normal". You will not be average. And interestingly enough, you will find that you've become part of a new, different group. You will be part of a group that is not "normal". You will be part of a group that knows that each member is not "average".

Mark Twain once said, "Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

The decision to separate yourself from the crowd comes from a within. It arises from a desire to realize one's full potential and a resolve to take responsibility for one's future. It doesn't matter what others say or do or think. None of them pay your bills. None of them have your dreams.

Sometimes it's a lonely path. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's frustrating. But one thing is true for sure. It's always worthwhile.

I know what it's like to try to fit in. I know what it's like to try to be normal. I used to have an external frame of reference.

But I changed. I stopped trying to fit in. I stopped trying to be average and I started striving for excellence. I started setting bigger and bigger dreams and goals. I started associating with other successful people. I don't fit in very well with people who are "normal". I never have. But I've come to realize that I fit in with people who are extraordinary.

So stop trying to be normal. Come and join me instead...

Written by Michael Beck, Business Philosopher & Strategist. For more articles and to subscribe to his free monthly newsletter, "Full Potential", please visit http://www.mbeckweb.com. Permission to reprint with full attribution. © 2010 Michael Beck International, Inc.

Is Your Life Working Wonderfully? How to Ditch the Fear of Success

2010-02-11T12:28:00.000-08:00

There are several ways of getting rid of fear. Some people advocate facing it head on. That kind of person will lead you to the edge of the diving board and then give you a push. No doubt they do the same if you are in front of them with a parachute strapped to your back and hesitating before you jump.

This gung-ho approach works for some things but it's difficult to do it by yourself, in the same way that it's difficult to inflict pain on yourself. So if you have to be self motivating you're probably not going to take that route.

Another approach is to avoid fear completely. If you want to expand your business, make your career a bit more zappy, or make a major change in your life avoiding fear will just make you stay stuck. But for completeness, here are some guidelines on how to do it -

(Subtitle - the Yellow Custard Rabbit's Guide to Never Being Afraid)

1. Don't have any big dreams. Make sure your dreams are very small. That way no one is threatened, everything will stay the same and if you move forward, it will be at the speed of an infinitesimally slow snail. You won't have to fear change because it isn't going to happen. The really big dreams are scary because they involve you and your purpose, they are personal.

2. Make sure you don't step across anyone's boundaries. If you can't upset them you'll stay safe. Small, frustrated, even angry, but safe. Your own boundaries will become a bit blurred and you may end up with 'doormat' stamped on your forehead. But hey, you'll be safe.

3. Don't admit to having any ambitions. Career ambitions? Business growth ambitions? Personal success? NO, No, No, not if you want to feel totally safe all of the time. People won't like it. It's not what you were meant to do.

4. Don't rock the boat. Like, saying what you really think. Having opinions of your own. Who knows, your meek attitude combined with endless hard work might just get you to the top (yeah, right).

But if that sounds too restrictive, not much fun and all about other people's stories, try the Hero's approach '

Subtitle - The Hero's Guide to Great Rewards (Making Fear Redundant)

1. You could have REALLY big dreams. Go on, live dangerously just for once, get a pen and paper and write down exactly what you want to do with your life, your business, you career. And you are only allowed to write things down when you've spent at least ten minutes daydreaming about this so you've got the full picture, all the sounds and smells and feelings - whatever you need to make your dream as vivid as possible.

2. Know where you begin and other people end. I'm not suggesting you turn into Mr or Ms obnoxious 2010 but if you change and their equilibrium is destroyed maybe that shouldn't stop you changing. Maybe they can change too. Maybe you can change and keep all the best bits of who you are now. Maybe they can love your success. The possibilities are endless if you learn how to be your wonderful, authentic self.

3. Be as ambitious as you want to be. For you it may be running a company with a turnover of a million or more. Or a billion. Or it might be to start your own business. Or live your lifelong dream of becoming an astronaut. Or becoming the National Apple Pie Baker champion. Or all of the above (which would not be mutually incompatible, though you'd be awfully busy). And if it doesn't feel quite like you, start off with a slightly smaller ambition but always have the big dream in mind.

4. Get the facts right, be knowledgeable, then express your opinions. You're a grown up now and can have your say. It doesn't mean you'll always be right or get your own way. It does mean you will have a space in the universe and not be background scenery. And then you can really blossom.

Of course, this alternative view means that you won't be surrounded by a total lack of fear. Yes, there will be times when you have to step out beyond your comfort zone. But the rewards will be great. You might get external rewards like riches, fame and fortune.

Liz Copeland is the True Courage Coach. If you are on the brink of something big and want to move forward or if you are being forced to take a big step True Courage Coaching will support you. So if you've lost the job, your partner or your waistline and you want to get to step up and into your ideal future get started right away with your free True Courage Creation Kit at http://www.truecouragecoaching.com

Universal Law of Increase - How to Use it and Attract Prosperity

2010-02-11T12:22:00.000-08:00

The universal law of Increase states,"the more you give, the more you receive."

The first law that was created is the law of giving. Everything that is good, seen and unseen in this world comes from God (or you can call it the divine Source, the Creator, the divine Consciousness, etc.). It is given to us for free. The air that we breath, the water that we drink, fire that keep us warm, Ideas that made this world a better place to live in. If God gave us all these great things for free, who are we not to give?

When we have an attitude of giving, we are removing the limits of all the good things that come to us. Why, because an attitude of "taking" or "Getting" produce a congested condition, a stagnant state, and limited action. It prevents the flow of God's Blessings into our life.

Realize this; we must give first before we can receive. That is the law. Giving always come first before getting. Focus on giving first, may it be your service, your good deed, your thoughts, your advices or your money, and nature will respond, and give back more than you give. Remember to focus entirely on giving. Forget about getting.

Let us take giving money as an example. First, what is money? Money is just a piece of paper with ink. Money per se does not have value. It is the idea or concept of what money can get for us, like Holiday vacation, nice expensive car, big houses, fine food, luxury, etc. Money is only a way of exchanging value. Now, before giving away money, you have to think first who are you going to give your money? My advice is to give it to those people who make an effort to help themselves. Why, because if you give it carelessly, you cannot expect it to come back to you. When you give, be purposeful and systematic; learn to give without string attached.

When giving, it must be done in the right spirit. Give with an open heart only; sincerity, honesty and in good spirit. By doing this, abundance will flow in your life.

Even if your salary or income is small, every time you received your salary, try to give a certain amount or percentage away. You can give it to a charity or a good cause. And you will observe that in a short period of time, you'll see that the money that you gave away will return to you in greater amount than you imagine.

Remember to give willingly, no attachments or obligations. Or else it will return to you with attachment or obligations. When you reach a point of yielding to the law, and you become generous, then, you become a new person. Your attitude towards others, towards the law, and towards your life conditions will acquire the nature of your new way or thinking

Remember, you can only receive what you can conceive and you can only get the equivalent of what you give.

Clark Pasag
http://www.strongmindbender.com

5 Creativity Killing Habits You Don't Even Realize You Have

2008-05-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

Being more creative isn't just about finding lots of new ways you can increase your creativity, additions you can make to your creative life to make it all flow more smoothly and easily. More powerful than adding new techniques is reducing the kind of habits you already have that are seriously limiting your creativity, maybe without you even knowing it.

So here are 5 top creativity killing habits, how to recognise them, and what to do instead:

1. You tell yourself you're JUST a writer/painter/sculptor... Even though you may be prolific in one creative form and creating away happily, if you see yourself only as being able to create in this one medium, it can significantly restrict you. The basic principles of creativity are not about the tools and materials you use, they're about how you bring ideas into being that weren't there before. Try creating in a few other mediums now and then to stretch yourself and expand your creative horizons.

2. You hold back after periods of great creativity. So you've had a weekend of great creative activity and you're glowing with pride at your efforts. "Hang on though, if I've been so creative in such a short time, I'd better hold back and ration myself for a few weeks, just in case my creativity runs out." Sound familiar? Creativity breeds creativity, we don't have a finite supply of ideas, the more we come up with, the more will appear. So don't get caught up in the myth that we each have a limited supply of creativity that will suddenly one day run out.

3. You believe you're only "playing around" and not a real artist. You can be highly creative and still believe that you're just dabbling and not really a serious creative artist. This deeply held belief can cause you to keep your creativity very low key, hidden away even, meaning you never truly enjoy your creativity at its fullest. The truth is, everyone who creates has these thoughts sometimes. If you create stuff, you're a creative artist, and your work is of value, it's as simple as that. So create and be proud!

4. You talk down your creative achievements. Maybe when you create new projects, and people say they enjoy them or are inspired by them, you dismiss their comments with lines like: "oh anyone can do it" or "it's nothing special" and "It's OK, but I can do much better". Not only does this belittle your own great efforts, but it's actually disrespectful to those making the comments. It's not for you to judge how moved someone is by what you've created, give THEM credit for knowing what they enjoy and telling you, and give YOURSELF credit for having created it.

5. You delay creating until after "essential" tasks. How often do you just decide to create and do it? How often do you find yourself thinking "Right, I'm going to get down to creating as soon as I've checked my emails" or "...finished this episode of my favourite sitcom" or "...rearrange my collection of 1000 books"? Create first, while your energy and inspiration is high, do these other tasks after, as they take hardly any mental or creative effort. Save your juices for creating!

Which of these creativity killing habits do you recognise in your own life? Which can you focus on and take steps to reducing starting from today?

Want to learn more about how to increase YOUR creativity? It's easy: just sign up to "Create Create!" - Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin's free twice monthly ezine - today, and get your free copy of the "Explode Your Creativity!" Action Workbook. Head on over now to http://www.CoachCreative.com.

Navigating Change

2008-05-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

All of us recognize when our lives need work. We may deny it or ignore the signs but whether it's health, finances, family relationships or some other problem, we know when things don't feel right. But fixing them? That's not so easy.

Viewing all our problems at once can be overwhelming. We have to look closer and determine what needs fixing first. If, for example, the kids are out of control because a couple can never agree on discipline, it would be pointless to start with the kids. They are not the problem. The marriage is. What about health? Suppose someone is suffering anxiety attacks, stress related high blood pressure and other health problems because they insist on controlling every aspect of life, including family members. The anxiety attacks are not the problem. The control issues are.

It's not that the secondary issues won't eventually have to be addressed. They will. But we have to zero in on the root problems that are making every aspect of life fall apart around us. It's not enough to say, "I want to work on my marriage." What part of the marriage? Trust? Intimacy? Respect? Spiritual life? Communication? Forgiveness?

All areas of life are multi-layered and complex. Every problem has a core, a deep place where some belief, behavior or habit is out of whack. Behind every addiction or personality flaw there is a deception.

When we resolve to improve our lives we must become detectives if we hope to fix things in correct order. So don't fall into the trap of trying to fix everything that is wrong all at once. And never work on more than one problem at a time. Try these steps:

Identify the most critical problem
• Make a plan for change
• Write down steps to success
• Implement the plan
• Forgive yourself any lapses
• Reward yourself for success
• Remember that habits are created by repeated behaviors
• Once you feel you have achieved a new pattern, you can identify and begin to work on another problem

So, whether it involves parenting, marriage issues, finances or a destructive habit such as drugs or smoking, you CAN take control of your life, improve your circumstances and make life altering changes for yourself and your family.

Just remember, the number one rule is ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME. Don't focus on the children if you and your spouse getting into agreement on parenting is the issue. YOU change and they'll change. Don't focus on "marriage" if your problem is trust or intimacy. Identify the problem and work on THAT and you will see results before you know it. Don't focus on vitamins supplements or protein if your problem is dependence on alcohol or cigarettes. Beat the habit and you may feel better than you ever have.

Step by step, line upon line, here a little and there a little is the way to achieve enormous life changes.

Beverly Vines-Haines is the Marketing, Research and Text Coordinator for Healing Leaf LLC. This is a company that tackles the toughest skin and nail conditions known to man. A best-selling author for years before she became a part of Healing Leaf LLC, she is dedicated to natural healing and creating pure products that are both safe and earth friendly. For more information about these effective products, visit http://www.NoFungusAmongUs.com

Replace Negative Thinking with Positive Thinking

2008-05-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

Negative thinking is something that haunts many of us. Try as we may, it seems that the negative thoughts simply come more easily than the positive ones. If you are tired of always looking at the world with pessimism, it's time to change! Afraid that negative thinking is just a part of who you are? Don't worry, with the help of negative thinking affirmations anyone can start to look at the world in a more positive manner.

Negative thinking affirmations are a way to change the way that you look at the world starting right now. Instead of always looking at the glass as half empty you can teach yourself to see it as overflowing. You may be thinking that this way of thought will be nothing less than a miracle, but it's not! With negative thinking affirmations anything is possible, regardless of how negative your thought process is and how long you negative thinking has plagued you.

The Benefits of Positive Affirmations

Using free positive affirmations can prove to be invaluable to your life. When you are able to approach life in a more positive nature you will find that life is a lot sweeter. You may be more willing to do, say, and try things that you wouldn't have tried before. You'll be able to approach life with more hope and you'll simply feel better as a result. Because you feel better and are willing to do things that you wouldn't have done before, you'll also be a lot more fun to be around (your friends will thank you) and you'll experience a completely new world around you. You'll be a magnet for like-minded success-seekers and you'll get more done, in less time. Why? Because 50% of your time will be saved from the constant complaints and negative thoughts you once had. Does this sound like a good idea or what!

The Simplicity of Affirmations

Negative thinking affirmations seem simple when you look at them because they appear to be nothing more than a simple statement. When you believe that the negative thinking affirmations are statements of truth, you are taking the power of negative thought away and giving it to the positive nature that does dwell within you. When you say these free positive affirmations you are literally training your mind how to work in a different way. You will be able to see the effects of using these negative thinking affirmations right away because they will start opening your mind from minute one.

When you start using negative thinking affirmations you may feel a bit silly, but if you believe that you can change you are already on your way toward more positive thought. When you find yourself being negative, sometimes all you need is a reminder to think differently about a situation or about life in general. Free positive affirmations are a simple reminder that will allow you change your thought process for good. You may have times where you start to feel a bit negative, but reciting your negative thinking affirmations can help you stop the negativity in its tracks. Your life will be better for the change in thinking, so make positive affirmations part of what you do starting right now!

Ronnie Nijmeh is the president and founder of ACQYR.com - a resource that provides free desktop wallpapers, motivational articles, and inspirational affirmations. Read more free positive affirmations.

Confidence - 7 Suggestions To Feel More Confident In Social Situations

2008-05-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

Many people lack confidence when interacting with others... and for some, any form of social situation can be extremely difficult. Social interaction whether it be work-related or personal life can be stressful to the point where the person becomes highly anxious and unable to function the way he or she usually does.

A lack of confidence can make meeting and talking with people extremely difficult... making conversation with someone who has a huge lack of confidence is like drawing teeth without an anaesthetic! Painful!

Not only is it painful for the person who is trying to converse with someone who lacks confidence but the person who lacks confidence is often in agony!

Our level of confidence is influenced by many things including how we feel about our expertise and knowledge, how we feel others perceive us, how comfortable we are with others.

And our confidence is also influenced by how we feel we look to others... how we feel we "shape up" in the eyes of others.

There are many things we can easily, inexpensively, and quickly do to give ourselves a confidence boost when meeting or interacting with others.

Here are 7 suggestions to look good. If you look good... you feel good. If you feel good about your looks, your confidence gets a much needed boost:

be clean and tidy -- make sure you are fresh e.g. have a shower or a wash to freshen up. When your skin is clean and fresh you feel so much better. Often it isn't possible to shower just before being with others e.g. meeting after work. But you can go to any public restroom and wash your face and hands, touch up your makeup (if you are a woman), reshuffle your clothing e.g. straighten your tie, your shirt, your skirt
looking good doesn't mean having expensive clothing -- when you are meeting others, take some time choosing what you will wear. Wear clothes that you feel good in -- word of caution: most of us feel so great and comfortable in daggy trackies but that type of clothing does not do you any favours when you lack confidence with others. Choose clothing that makes you feel more confident e.g. slightly dressy but still comfortable
make sure you have tidy footwear -- having appropriate footwear, again it doesn't have to be designer label or the most expensive, as long as it is reasonably clean, helps you feel more confident. In other words... avoid wearing joggers to a cocktail party for your work!
make sure your hair is tidy -- just before you are meeting others and being put in a potentially stressful situation, comb your hair. If you know you have an important social engagement coming up that day make sure your hair is clean -- wash it!
have a fresh mouth -- remember, when you are with others you will most probably need to talk (cringe) which means people will be within a relatively short distance from your mouth. A major confidence destroyer is the concern that we have something stuck in our teeth or that our breath smells... Do yourself a favour -- clean your teeth or at least give your mouth a thorough rinse before any social contact!
smile! Become aware of your facial expressions... and make yourself smile! All too often when we lack confidence, we tend to frown, look serious or vague... not good! Stand in front of the mirror and practise smiling... and remember if your mouth is clean and fresh you won't have the worry of what's between your teeth!
practice confident posture and walking -- stand up straight, shoulders back, head held high, and don't slouch! Watch confident peoples posture and walk and copy what they do!

Helping yourself to boost your confidence is essential... and there are so many little tricks that will boost your confidence!

Jeanne May works with spiritually minded people providing them information, inspiration, guidance and support to achieve their goals and dreams... subscribe to Aspirations Plus and receive updates and a complimentary copy of "#1 Ingredient To Fast Track Your Success!"

I invite you to discover more about the difference confidence makes in your life, and learn easy to use techniques to develop Unstoppable Confidence.

Self-Esteem - Overcome Low Self-Esteem with Simple Techniques

2008-05-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

Low self-esteem affects our love lives, careers, family bonds, and, most of all, our internal sense of well-being. High self-esteem, however, exudes confidence, problem-solving abilities and the assertiveness necessary to achieve your goals.

The more you like yourself, the more you act in likable ways. The more you believe you can achieve something, the more likely it is that you will.

It is a well-known fact that we can all take steps to improve our self-esteem. The most important relationship you have is with yourself!

The expression "Self-Esteem" is often used in our everyday life, although most people don't really know the exact meaning of it. Most people think that self esteem is another name for confidence. Certainly, confidence is part of the definition of self esteem but it is a lot more than that. For example, there are numerous people in the world that are at the height of their confidence but have very poor self-esteem. Most of the people in the public eye fall into this category. The most common are actors, comedians and singers who glow on stage, and yet offstage, they feel insecure.

There are a few different ways to improve your self esteem. The most basic of them is that you must realize that you are not alone. There are many others who have this problem. The second fact that you must remember is that you are a very special person and you are an important part of society and you have as much right to live happily and peacefully as everybody else.

Another thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes is a fact of life for everyone. No one is perfect. Never forget the saying 'to err is human'. Hopefully most of us will learn from our mistakes. We also have the right to respect ourselves just like we respect others. Most importantly, you have the right to say 'yes' or 'no' for yourself. People with poor self esteem feel that they are inferior to others and are unable to make the right decisions.

Here are some the techniques to help improve your self esteem.

* The ten minute technique: take ten minutes a day and do nothing but just sit and relax. This helps bring back your confidence. Many people find this technique helpful.

* Accentuate the Positive: if you are one of those who tends to go over your mistakes again and again, make sure it is only for one reason: to correct them.

* List 50 things that you like about yourself: then go over them every day. This will help you to focus on your strengths and will keep you on the right track.

To learn the simple secrets to building your self-esteem, visit http://www.selfesteem.healthehelp.com where you'll find everything you need to know about improving your confidence, including self help, self-esteem improvement courses, and much more!

Improving Your Self Confidence

2008-05-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, we all need Self Confidence to cope with the trials of modern life, but what many people don't realise is the extent to which our lives are governed by this simple attribute of personality. Self-confident people are winners: things go right for them; people like them; and they get the results they want more often than not.

Now wouldn't you like to have more of that kind of quality in your life? Well - you can! If you are not a self-confident person, you can become one; and it's easier than you might think. But before we can walk through the 'door' to unlimited self-confidence, we need to first discover exactly what a confident person is; then we can look at how to acquire it.

First of all, a self-confident person is someone who believes they are confident. Their lives exude confidence because they are simply being true to that unshakeable inner belief. Conversely, a person without confidence is someone who does not have that belief; and is equally acting out the consequences of their inner thoughts. Same process - different results!

Here we have the key to acquiring that confidence: we must change our beliefs about who and what we are. Once we have done that, the rest - the unshakeable self confidence we seek - will follow quite naturally. So the question really becomes one about how we can go about the business of changing our beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of achieving; and there are many ways to do that including self-hypnosis, NLP and the use of positive affirmations.

In this article, I want to take a look at the use of positive affirmations. Affirmations do work because they deal with changing the inner person first. The reason they work is because: if you choose to repeat a particular phrase over and over again (I recommend at least three times a day; and three repetitions each time - that's 9 time in total - minimum) then eventually your subconscious mind will accept that you are what you have been saying.

Once that acceptance has taken place for the inner person, the outer person will begin to experience the benefits. The good news is that you don't even have to believe in the process; you just need to engage in the discipline of doing the repetitions each and every day until you produce the results you want.

Affirmations for Self-Confidence and Self-Belief:

- I AM Growing in Confidence Each and Every Day

- I AM Receiving All the Self-Confidence I Need

- I AM Brimming with Confidence

So try the above affirmations, repeating each of them three times; and do this procedure three times per day. Try them for a period of one month and you will begin to see some excellent results!

For more tips on developing your Self-Confidence, get our excellent book: Unshakable Self-Confidence. This book is completely free (no sign-up required). Get an immediate download here ...

http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/bookstore-index.htm

Will Edwards is Founder of White Dove Books

http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk

What To Do With Your Money

2008-04-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Every day we have people that want to tell us what to do with our money. If you really look at that is pretty ballsy I think. Okay I have to say that I agree with you. So here is my question then what are you going to do with your money? I was talking with a retired man one day who is drinking himself to death. I am not joking. When I first met the man he was tell working. He was telling me that he could not wait to retire and re-lack. It has been two years now he has been to rehab two times and has had about three drink related accidents. So I guest to question is what are you going to do with your money and time.

One I talked to a man that had a friend who at 60 did not retire nor did he at 65, 70, 75, or 80. Some people would say that working kept him alive. Well at 81 he could not walk without falling, he has trouble seeing and his health is so, so. His past social life was little as he was always working. Many of his family members and friends are pasted away. So now he has the money but not one to spent it on and he is in no condition to spend it as he would have liked too. Nor can he really enjoy it. Life is about living not watching it pass you by while you wait for your own time to pass. You can not take it with you.

One day I spoken with a lady that makes a lot of money drives, an expensive car yet she is miserable on the inside. She will fire a single mother who had made a few bad choices in her life yet is visibly working hard to correct her mistakes and is moving in the direction. Yet turn a blind eye on her own regular and repeated missteps. Then to make herself feel as she is help will spend money that is not hers to hire a company to recycle some items for the good of the environment. Again dismissing her own daily environmental footprint and impact on our world.

One day spoke with a very nice young lady that told me that she gives at her church. I told her that was great. I then asked her where did her donation go. She told me that they where in the process of building a new bigger church. So I asked her what was wrong with the old church? She said nothing. Why where they building a new one she said we just needed a new building. I said okay then asked her what kind of car did her pastor drive. The lady smiled and very happily told me he the pastor just got a new Mercedes and his wife the co-pastor just get a new Jaguar a few months ago. I then ask the lady what type of volunteer activities she had done. Her answer was no she did not done any. She then asked me if I volunteered I said yes and that I have for the last 8 years teaching for a local non-profit and for over 7 years before that at the local boys and girls clubs where I lived.

Then you have companies like Enron and those people who wasted millions on things that they really did not even want or need. This along with the rising cost of gas, food, and transportation. We have hundreds of people losing their jobs and homes. Jobs going over sea you call a customer service number and you find that you are talking with someone you can not understand. Plus does not seem to know how to assist you with the matter you call them for in the first place. We are in the worst debt in history at a county. I think we need to work to help each other here in America.

Dale Carnegie said he spend half of his life making money his future and he said that he would spend the other half giving it away. Very few can say that Mr. Carnegie was not a very smart man. So we are back to what to do with your money. We run a martial arts school in northern Virginia we work with all types of people and I know that we do a lot of good for the community. So my suggestion is that you give the money to us. We will put it to good and positive uses. Like scholarship programs for students that want to train in the martial arts and get in better physical condition. People that need to find and move in a positive direction. Young people who have entered into a positive martial arts environment and are positive and active in the community help them with higher educational goals like going to college. People if your donation helps to keep one child in the school doing productive things and out of trouble that it a great and wonderful thing. No one person can save to world but each of us can make a difference.

How you give and what you give is up to you. My promise is that your donation will help many who could use it. In these uncertain times and your donation will go to assist those here in the US. There is more to life then money that is true. But the lack of money can make life hard.

Success story: We had four students that just before start at our school where not doing well in school. After talking with the parents we found that the parents did not think they would all graduate high school. Not only did these students graduate one was offered 3 full scholarships and one partial. All of them are also now in college and doing well. By the way the scholarships were for academics.

Today Is Now!

By Zurriane Bennett

San Yama Bushi & Combination GoJu
School of Self Defense
http://www.sybcg.com

Moving From Fear to Attracting What You Want

2008-04-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever realized that our entire planet runs on the energy of fear? If you have never taken the time to wonder the core reason most people will never attract their desires think for a moment. Fear is at the heart of all our troubles.

The key ingredient which holds everyone back from attracting their desire is the fear that it is not possible. There is the fear of not being good enough and the fear that there is lack in the world and the fear of what will happen if you do succeed.

Even the greatest success motivator will tell you that with each new goal they hope to manifest there is an element of fear they must overcome. Here are 3 ways of overcoming your fears and finally attracting the life of your dreams.

Small Steps Lead to Big Wins

Nothing great was ever manifested in one sweeping step. If you desire to change your life in a big way and manifest your greatest desires start with small action. After you have succeeded with each small step you will gradually gain confidence with each win. Each wining step will confirm to your subconscious mind that you are making progress and what you desire to manifest is very possible.

Examine the Stories of Those Who Have Gone Before You

You can learn more from the actions of those who can share their failures. In that way you learn what not to do. Although great success comes with bring first hand and practical you can learn by listening and watching the pitfalls. Every great success story came with lots of failed attempts. Learn from those who failed and won.

Immersion

In order to master anything in life you must immerse yourself deeply within that topic. You must be willing to invest lots of your time reading, learning and taking action. Manifesting is an inner and outer awareness and development of the self. The more you engage all of your time within the topics you hope to overcome the faster you can move from fear to power.

Sign Up for a Free Manifesting Software and Magic Money Newsletter
http://www.cosmic-wealth.com/lawofattraction
Discover the ancient techniques to manifesting faster resutls using simple yet powerful techniques found in the powerful Magic Money ebook written by Daniel Hinds.

Who Do You Trust?

2008-04-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

"To pursue success effectively, you must build supportive relationships that will help you work toward your goals. To build those relationships, you need to trust others: and to earn their trust, you in turn must be trustworthy." - Stedman Graham

From 1957 to 1962 a popular game show called "Who Do You Trust?" aired on television. Edgar Bergen and then Johnny Carson hosted, so it was also a funny show. People participated as pairs, usually married couples. The premise of the show was that contestants had to choose who would answer the questions in order to win prizes. The challenge to them was, "Which of you feels confident with this category? Who do you trust?"

Consider how well you might do on such a show. Maybe you are playing that game already! Every day you answer the trust question.

I know that it is very important to me that people trust me, and I feel hurt when someone does not trust me. In those cases, I usually reason that the person does not know me. They need to find out that I am capable and true to my word. You deserve that same trust.

Where did we get the idea that we can't trust people? What makes you think you can't trust yourself? Get past those voices that are giving the negative perspective! This relates to the concept of "innocent until proven guilty." Your life can be so much easier if you begin thinking "trustworthy until proven otherwise."

Trust is wrapped up with honesty and quality. Do you believe, honor, and respect the other person? Do you have the confidence that they will follow through on their commitments with quality work? Do you give yourself this same level of trust? If you are concerned about errors, do you trust that you can remedy the situation if there are mistakes?

Great managers reject the notion that trust must be earned. Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman debunk that theory in their book, "First Break All the Rules: What Great Managers Do Differently." Here is what they said about the great managers in their study. "They know if, fundamentally, you don't trust people, there is no line, no point in time, beyond which people suddenly become trustworthy. They believe that if you expect the best from people, then more often than not the best is what you get."

Begin with yourself. The wise philosopher Goethe said, "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."

Self-trust is the first secret of success.- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Anna Watkins is a Career Coach with a special interest in group coaching and Master Mind Groups, networks of like minded people who support and help each other stay on track with their life goals. You can learn more about the resources she offers through her website: http://www.one-e-anna.com

Become A Mighty Oak

2008-04-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Lets learn from nature

I have let my thoughts wander while trying to find an introduction to my young entrepreneurs meeting and I started thinking about nature [again] it seems that we can learn so much from the natural world if only we look.

The main thing that we forget is that we are part of this wonderful natural world. The first thing to consider is that everything in nature is programmed to become the best they can , plants, trees, animals, fish etc.. they are all pre programmed to achieve the very best status that they can. Like humans they encounter hurdles and obstacles, but they never change their programme. If a plant lacks water it withers and hangs on to life until it gets more water, the minute it gets more water it just carries on trying to achieve being the best it can. It does not say that was too hard I think I will just make do from now on.

When I thought about the humble acorn, I came up with a wonderful analogy. I have often said before that no one can tell an acorn that it will not grow into a mighty oak, but I had never considered the odds of it actually achieving its goal.

On one oak tree there are many thousands of acorns, they are all programmed to be very successful oak trees. Let us follow the journey of an acorn as it tries to fulfil its goal.

Once they fall to the ground things really start to hot up, squirrels start collecting them to store up for the winter, wild pigs eat them, birds start to eat them in fact things are looking a bit shaky.

The few who actually get blown or somehow arrive at a fertile place, start to germinate and take root. Once they are saplings they once again become food for various creatures.

So out of the thousands of acorns that fell from the tree, very few will actually reach their full potential.

What is the point of all this I hear you say.

Well the point is that although only a few acorns become big oak trees, if they had been blessed with a brain like us humans, I should think that the species would die out.

The actual hardships that they are faced with makes no difference to the individual acorn, because he has a programme that says he will grow into a mighty oak as soon as he is given the opportunity. He cannot think of what has happened to his brothers and sisters, and he cannot worry about what might happen once he germinates. He is only interested in becoming the best oak tree he can.

Once again I hear you saying Croz has finally lost it.

Well the difference between you and the acorn, is that you can position yourself at any time to reach your full potential. You are in control and not at the mercy of others.

If you just forgot about the past and all the negative programming and just said to yourself, I am going to be the best I can possibly be and achieve all I desire, and I will deal with any situation as it is presented, and not imagine things to solve, you too may become a mighty oak.

Croz is a talker and thinker. check out his website http://www.croz.com.au Also check out this website where Croz is helping a young lad earn one million dollars in one year http://www.thehappysecret.com

The World Awaits - You Need Only to Say Yes!

2008-04-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Saying yes to life, to your gifts, to your birth right to experience life to the fullest, is a powerful affirmation we can say each day. I remember when I was young, and my mother would wake me up for school each morning, the first word I would utter with dread and anguish upon awakening was, "no." What a way to start off the day! Little did I know what I was creating for myself with the energy behind that one word. How many times do we say things that we wouldn't otherwise say if we realized the power and magnitude of the words we choose in the moment? Living consciously is challenging yet can truly change our lives. Every word we speak and every thought we focus on, sets the stage for the energy and experience of the day and ultimately, of our lives.

There's more to it than merely changing a word or perspective, however we have to start somewhere and that's one simple way we can effectively and instantly start to transform our experiences. Gratitude, presence, being in your heart, staying unconditionally compassionate with yourself and others, patience (since the only time restraints are those we contrive), and embracing everything as perfectly divine are ways we can go even further. It's quite the undertaking, but at least if we have the desire to experience life in this way, then we are half way there.

Part of the journey with all of this is to continually encourage ourselves to go a little further each day. To reach that one extra step, no matter how small. It's not easy, but can make a world of difference when we take the step to commit ourselves to the process, our path, the journey.

Gratitude is a wonderful starting point and when we come to understand the power of this and how it can change things drastically, amazing things begin to shift and take form from a simple perspective change. We are more than we give ourselves credit for and there is more waiting for us than we are aware. There is so much to be grateful for.

The world is a playground of possibilities and a canvas of diverse colors we have yet to discover. We become comfortable in our own worlds of existence, never realizing that across the globe, millions of people are sharing in this experience of life with us, right here and right now; people that are beautiful in every way and share a common thread of the pursuit of love and fulfillment. Expanding our horizons in whatever way relative to your experience and abilities is truly vital. Lessening up on mass information intake and opening up more to your own personal experience and to the beauty of the Universe is helpful.

Saying yes to life and to your right to experience it to the level of your own personal fulfillment is the key. Doors will magically open when we start to make changes and support and believe in our dreams. It starts with you.

Whatever your dream may be, have the courage to follow it and support it. It's a dream for a reason. Not merely to just stuff it all away to subdue your blues. We're alive for a reason. Not to just be in the physical, but to integrate it with the spiritual for an all-encompassing totality of experience. There is much out there to explore and if you have the desire, there is a way.

Tania Marie is a Reiki Master Teacher, Visionary Artist, & Host of Sacred Journeys to Egypt, residing in Incline Village, NV. For more information about her work and services please visit http://www.taniamarie.com or call (775) 343-9244. Treatments & classes available by distance or at Reno & Tahoe locations.

Feel Your Fear and Do It Anyway!

2008-04-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

How to Create Exciting Breakthroughs in your Work and your Life:

"How do you know if you can't do it, unless you try?" This is what Pablo, our adventure guide on a recent trip to Mexico said to me, as he looked me straight in the eyes. I was poised to repel down 40 feet in the air into a Mayan sink hole that was 39 feet deep. I was all harnessed up in my gear and my husband and two kids were already swimming in the water with the rest of our group of 8. All that was left was Susan from Texas, me, and our guide, Pablo. Susan decided she couldn't do it and left me facing Pablo. He repeated, "How do you know you can't do it, unless you try?"

This is actually an excellent question! My palms were sweating and waves of anxiety went through me. I decided to feel my fear and do it anyway! Pablo calmly encouraged me, "You can do it, chica!" I got into place and scaled the stone wall down into the cave, all the while white-knuckling it, as I lowered my rope slowly but surely. My confidence began to override my fear as I came closer and closer to achieving my goal. I did it!

Soon I was swimming in this ancient and sacred water hole. There is something quite marvelous, exhilarating and empowering, to dare yourself to do what scares your socks off! I'm so glad that I felt my fear and did it anyway! What scares you? Where could you take a big step forward in your business and/or your personal life? Perhaps you could:

Quit talking about a good idea and actually take massive action on that idea! Take on more opportunities to be more visible in the marketplace Go ahead and enroll in a high-end coaching program for 1st class mentoring from an expert. Perhaps it's your time to do more public speaking?

My coaching challenge to you this week is to choose something BIG that you'd like to do, be or have in your business or in your personal life and make a commitment to do it. Be smart and line up support. Without wise Pablo on my side, I probably wouldn't have dared to go beyond my comfort zone. So go for it! I encourage you to take on a challenging goal. Carpe Diem!

Learn more about Diana and receive your FREE Report, "3 Huge Mistakes People Like You Make to Sabotage Their Success & How You Can Completely Avoid Them!" and FREE subscription to "Life & Work Design Secrets" e-newsletter, please visit http://www.DianaLong.com.

The Basics Needed For Success

2008-04-23T12:33:00.001-07:00

Regardless of whether it is individual, group or team success we are pursuing there is wide array of skills, knowledge and passion needed to attain our prescribed definition of success. Each pursuit will be individually different depending on a number of issues involved. The individuals or team members involved, the environment in which you operate, the amount of competition that is chasing the same cherished prize.

Even with all of these individualities there are some constants as well. As with many other articles this is not meant to be an exhaustive list but a snapshot of some of the key areas that is associated with all pursuits of success.

The concept is to use this list to help you create your own. To take what has been outlined and expand upon it. I have heard many times that to be successful find someone that has done what you aspire to and do what they did.

I am not so sure about that. Obviously by doing this you will get close to the same result they have had. Nothing wrong with that? Sure, but how about we look at this concept. Look what has been done and how it was done and then think it through

to another level. This way the result you will achieve will be far superior to the original concept and result.

This is what I would like you to do with this list. Look at it understand it and how it relates to you. Expand upon it, rewrite it, but when you do rewrite it, do it to another level.

So here is a brief insight into some of the resources needed for success.

Time

Probably our most sacred commodity. How many times have you heard lack of time being used as reason for lack of performance?

Pursuing success takes time both, long term and short term. You need to workout a strategy of time usage. This strategy will need to take into account what amount of time you will need on a daily basis. You will also have to take into account how long you will need to pursue your success. If you have not planned you're time usage correctly and you find yourself short of time you will begin to take short cuts and make compromises to get what needs to be done in the reduced amount of time.

Understanding

What is this pursuit of success all about? What do I need to attain it. Who has done this in the past. Who can I use to help me. What are the pitfalls in this pursuit that I am about to undertake? When I achieve this success what am I going to get from it?

These and many other question should be asked and answered well before the pursuit of success begins. The better the understanding the better the planning, the better the planning the increased chances of attaining the success.

Skill

What skills are needed to attain the success we desire? Many times success has not been pursued because the people involved do not believe they posses the skills needed. They may well be right. But I see the gaining of the skills required as part of

the journey that success is.

As I said earlier the real key is to identify the skills needed and then do a balance sheet of the skills you have and the skills you may require.

Knowledge

What intellectual strengths do you have that is going to allow this pursuit of success to become reality? There is distinct difference here between understanding and knowledge.

Understanding is your insight to the general concept you are pursuing. Knowledge is part of the skill base you have that will help you achieve your desired result.

If your knowledge areas are lacking then the attainment of newfound knowledge becomes part of the process to attaining your success. No matter what knowledge you require there is fair chance it is documented somewhere all you need to do is being committed and resourceful in finding that knowledge.

Attitude

Take a minute here to think about people that you deem to be successful. What is there attitude like. Some are very much in your face others a little more laid back. But regardless of the public perception they all have to varying degrees an attitude.

Some take the time to share it with us where other keep it to themself. What you do is you're decision. But an attitude very much becomes a significant part of pursuing success. The one thing you need to be careful of don't let ego or attitude be mistaken for arrogance. Most of us can handle a healthy attitude very few of us can handle arrogance at any level.

Don't try to become something you are not, but a healthy dose of attitude will go along way to helping you achieve your success.

Support

Without doubt you will need help in your pursuit of success. This help can be in a variety of ways. Perhaps someone actually helping you on the day to day because of the skills they have. A group of people working as support group to help you through the good times and the bad.

Perhaps a mentor or a coach that will help you see the light when all you can see is darkness.

No doubt you are a talented individual but find the right people that can compliment your individual brilliance. Your success or the pursuit of it will be greatly enhanced by the support and input of others.

Commitment

Doesn't matter how much or to what degree you want what you do. Unless you have an absolute, no compromise, no questions asked commitment to your success and the things needed to achieve it there is fair chance you will come up short.

Now you like I have had first hand experience in seeing someone with very little effort achieve a significant result. How did they do it? It is a question I have asked myself many times, it is a question I have asked the people I have witnessed do it

many times. I am still no closer coming up with a definitive answer.

But I will say this if you are serious about pursuing success don't leave anything to chance. You will needed commitment and plenty of it. Commitment is easy in the early part when emotion is running high. Commitment is easy when things are going well.

Commitment is easy when you can see yourself getting closer to your desired result.

Commitment is really needed when none of the above is present. Commitment is needed when it seems like it is just you against all of the odds that are present. Commitment is needed when everything around is telling you that you cannot to attain your success.

Now what we have gone through are a few basic ingredients for success. Basic in concept, complex in instigation and exciting with the results they will bring. Success is about doing the basic thing exceptionally well and doing them consistently.

For More Information Visit http://www.totalperformance.com.au

Or Email us totalperformance@totalperformance.com.au

Bill Nelson is an elite international sporting coach who has turned his knowledge of developing peak team and individual performance into a world-class corporate consultancy, Total Performance Concepts Pty Ltd.

Bill's wisdom on the science of motivation, performance coaching and team building has been utilised by business organisations, defence forces, the real estate and telecommunications industries, educational institutions, local government, numerous businesses and elite sporting programs throughout the world.

Should Success Be Headstrong Or Heartfelt?

2008-04-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Is success possessions or passion?

In Our western society success is inclined to be associated with possessions and material wealth. The saying;" The boys with the most toys, wins" is true; anyway according to the marketing media. Does our society as a whole, believe success is only a gauge of materialism? Have the merchants so mesmerized the people that we now relate to materialism as the criteria for success?

While money and material possessions can be an outward sign of personal or business success it does not define it. Success is; the accomplishment of personal, worthwhile goals." In this definition, success becomes a mind set or belief in a particular goal. . . no matter what it is. It is in this arena that we set the stage for accomplishment. What is viewed as success by our family, neighbors, friends and associates is the acquisition of material possessions as in size of home, type and how many cars, clothing, yacht, and so on.

The web is redefining success

The web is a prime example of relationship detachment. It breeds self-reflection, self-indulgence, self-importance and alienation from personal relationships. When you're main focus is on how much money you can make, you tend to become detached from the real world. Deceit, lies, and downright theft have become food for success on the web. Every "pitch page" looks the same, every email another come on. What happened to morals, values and honesty?

While money is viewed as an outward sign or measure of personal career or business success, it reflects only a small piece of the bigger picture that is life.

A successful life should encompass far more than work or finances, although they are an important part of the total picture. Success encompasses five areas for stability in a life experience.

The Wheel of Life.

1. Spiritual - your relationship with God and nature.

2. Family - your relationship with your family and the family of man.

3. Finances - financial independence, your ability to keep your finances in order

4. Physical - keeping fit to face life's challenges

5. Mental - staying mentally fit to better decipher right from wrong.

These five important characteristics are inborn traits of man as transferred from God. (let us make man in our image and likeness) Because humans were created with God like qualities they are pleasant in the sight of God. The senses, sound, taste, sight, feel, emotion, imagination, compassion, and pleasure are all regulated for our protection. God placed a threshold on the senses of humans so He could experience His creation through their relationship with it. For our own protection, God has isolated us by the shear vastness of His ever expanding creation. To God everything is normal, but to man it is only normal within his ability of acceptance.

Life is a unified experience

Fulfillment of life is realized when all five areas are in unison. Perhaps you should contemplate your own specific themes and objectives that define your personal success desire so that you can better know yourself and evaluate success on your own terms. As you think about what success means to you, ask yourself a few pertinent questions:

1. Do I Enjoy My Life Now?

Even though your life experience may not always be desirable, you can still experience happiness and satisfaction. Open your eyes to those things that bring you joy, and embrace them into your everyday life.

2. Am I Enriching Someone Else's Life?

Relationships become meaningful when you demonstrate caring and love while enriching their lives in the process. Perhaps your mission in life should be in reaching out through personal giving and talents to make a positive difference in someone else's life. It could be in the smallest thing like lending an attentive ear, or speaking words of encouragement when your spouse, child, coworker or friend is downhearted. Strive to make a difference to at least one person every single day.

3. Can I Take The Heat When Fronted With Challenges?

Sometimes life comes at you ninety miles per hour but it is only a journey of perceptions. If your perceptions become challenges or problems try telling yourself; "This is only a learning experience and I will be a better person because of it.," It's all in how are you perceiving the experience, you could continually feel frustrated and sorry for yourself but these perceptions would serve no gainful purpose. It is in facing challenges and persevering that you develop into a mature individual. It is in diversities you are able to increase your capacity for managing life and face the many opportunities you will encounter.

4. Do I already Have The Things I Need To Enjoy Life?

To "enjoy life" may have different meanings for different people. Enjoying life is a mindset and something you have control over, so you should set your goal to enjoy life with abundance. God supplies abundance for you to take advantage of. He only ask for you to be a good and thankful steward. It is ok to make it a goal to strive for abundance in your life; whether it be money, relationships, time, love, or resources. Living in abundance means you can donate money and time when appropriate and still focus clearly on your goals. It is an empowerment that you can share with those you love and admire. You are able to give freely of yourself, your time, abilities, as you reach out in love and generosity.

5. Am I Successful In The Eyes Of GOD?

The litmus test is if you have it in your heart to focus on what's important in life while viewing it from a spiritual perspective. Since everything is borrowed from God, can you then Love Him with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself? When you look in the mirror what is reflected? Does success come from the heart or is it only a means to an end? Ask yourself if you are successful because, you're thankful and giving.

You have but one life, live it well.

Don't let anyone plot your destiny or define success for you. Your definition of success is your character and purpose. Take the time now to reach into your heart and create your own meaning. What does success mean to you? Do you have the courage to stand up to your own measure of success and display it for the world to see? By what standards will you gauge what is meaningful for your life?

Happy Trails

Donald Yates, Former Director of Business and Leadership Development for Imperial Research, is now retired but continues to assist young people in engaging life through self discovery, Life course planning, intuitiveness and fulfillment. Learn how you can build a powerful organization of your own. To learn more, visit http://www.clean4profit.com and http://www.rockeriders.com

Self Confidence - Eight Little Words That Will Pick Up Your Confidence!

2008-04-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

After a rather difficult day during a hectic week, I decided to have a "comfort" evening. For me, this means crawling into my oldest most comfortable pajamas, fixing a favorite meal, and watching a well- loved movie. My choice this time was Bridget Jones's Diary as it always makes me laugh and I think Colin Firth is a real hunk.

I have a favorite scene. It's where Bridget gets stuck eating dinner with a group of friends, most of whom are married. They give her a hard time about being single. As she gets ready to leave, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) comes down the stairs and bumbles through a speech about how he likes her even though he shouldn't. Their conversation is pure "Pride and Prejudice," but one line he says always brings tears to my eyes.

He says to Bridget, "I like you just the way you are."

When I hear this line, I always think it is the best pick up line there ever was. Every man should memorize it. I told this to my boyfriend and laughingly said he needed to say this to me more often. He smiled a mischievous grin and said, "This is a line you need to say to yourself more often."

He's a wise man, that boyfriend of mine and so right! As a great believer in the power of affirmations, I decided that every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I will say "I like ME just the way I am!"

I've been practicing this affirmation for quite awhile and I have found it helpful. I admit there are days when I look in the mirror and it is really hard to get the affirmation out. But I've learned to make myself say it with gusto, even if it makes me laugh.

If you struggle with self-confidence, why not try this. It can't hurt. Say it right now "I like ME just the way I am!" Okay, now say it again with even more feeling. Keep saying it over and over until you feel the power of these eight little words.

It's okay not to believe these words right away. I know I struggle with it sometimes. I think it's because it takes time to quiet those old voices, who like Bridget's married friends, like to remind us of where we fall short. But I really believe if we just keep repeating the phrase, eventually we will convince our minds to believe it.

And there is scientific evidence that supports this. Evidently, you really can teach your mind to believe something you say over and over again. Then again, this ought to make sense. Many of us learned the negative things we believe about ourselves because someone told them to us over and over again. So, why wouldn't positive affirmations work?

I plan to keep practicing these eight little words and I encourage you to give them a try, as well. Who knows you may find your self-confidence begins to grow the more you repeat the words! For my part, I will get up tomorrow morning, look in the mirror at my squashed hair, sleep wrinkled face and say "I like ME just the way I am!"

It's the best pick ME up line there ever was!

Sara Healy is a life coach who helps people with life and career transitions using their strengths and values. Find out how she can help you make positive changes in your life by contacting her at: http://www.sarahealy.com

Passion and Purpose as a Way to a Better Life of Kindness

2008-04-18T09:57:00.001-07:00

How many times do we ask ourselves what we are doing here on earth? What is this ride really supposed to be about, and what is my part in this huge cosmic scheme? When you awaken in the morning and start the new day, do you feel direction in your life along with a sense of purpose and meaning? As you retire at night do you feel you have contributed something of value that makes you feel good about what you put into the mainstream of life today?

These questions, however we ask them are an inescapable part of our existence and journey throughout this life time. So many people walk through their life unconscious, disconnected, numbed out and clueless, in regard to what their purpose is for being here. When I, Bob, was in college, I had an opportunity to do community based work in a little school house for Special Needs kids as a way of earning college credit. It was in the 60s, during the time of "Tune in, Turn on, and Drop Out" and with no shortage of "Altered State" experiences; the opportunity to work with these kids was the highlight of my college years.

I felt so gratified in the sharing of myself with those in need. And the receptivity and appreciation that I experienced from these kids was without parallel. I knew, without knowing, that I had found my Passion and Purpose. It took many years to let go of self defeating behaviors and attitudes in order to recognize that being in service to others was my "calling". There is no doubt in my mind that I was tapping into my authenticity when in service to these kids.

When you look at the work you do and the roles you play as parent, partner, community member, son/daughter, etc. it is quickly evident that there is some form of service embedded in all of these different roles. We are inherently wired to give and to serve. Whatever these roles in service are for each of us, there is pretty much, no escaping it. Hence, if we live from a getting paradigm we really miss the boat as to what our Passion and Purpose is.

There are obstacles, pitfalls, self defeating behaviors and beliefs that inhibit your capacity to fulfill your Passion and Purpose. They each have elements of fear which creates separation from our own authenticity.

The first obstacle we want to share with you is the "Pleasing Others" Syndrome (also referred to as Co-Dependence). If in your work/service experience there is a predisposition to look for approval, to be constantly worrying about pleasing others, this focus gets in the way of the joy and gratification that accompanies the work you are doing. It creates a burden and heaviness when the primary motive is about seeking validation. Embedded in this dynamic is a tremendous amount of fear and insecurity.

This fear can grip you in a way that creates more and more anxiety about performance and approval ratings, and thus robs you of the dopamine response (natural opiates in the brain) that is released when we are giving from a place of authenticity. It is not so much how you are in service to others as it is where you are coming from attitudinally. The more you unleash and dig out your fears, the more you will gravitate towards the Passion and Purpose that is waiting to reveal itself within you.

When we speak of fears it is in reference to the self deception, the limitations and the erroneous belief systems that inhibit going for your Greatness. Needless to say, there are healthy fears that keep you safe and protected. These fears are wired into our brains so that we don't put ourselves in harms way. The trick is being able to distinguish when it is truly our healthy fear responses being activated vs. a distorted belief that you need constant approval or validation for you to matter. The second obstacle to living from a place of Passion and Purpose is the attitude and accompanying behaviors that say you must be the "Superstar". Again, fear is going to be dwelling at the core of this ideology you live from. When you work from a place of Kindness, Compassion and Empathy, these forms of vulnerability become very empowering.

To operate from arrogance (I do no wrong) leaves you without humility, which is a fundamental part of fulfilling Passion and Purpose. We have to be willing and able to forgive our mistakes and allow for error, as long as we are honestly working towards the greater good of those we serve. When you can honestly say that you have given of yourself for fun and for free, without the need of reward or recognition, then you are living in a state of Passion and Purpose. The third pitfall that stands in the way of living from an authentic place of Passion and Purpose is leaving your spirit out of the process. Passion and Purpose bring with it a creative energy that feels fulfilling. You can feel tired at the end of the day as a result of the work you have done, but to equal measure there is energy that you experience as a result of the creative process.

In the corporate world, individuals have been taught to leave their soul out of the equation. If we don't bring our soul to work, then climbing the corporate ladder or creating business "success" is an empty experience that leaves you pushing, pushing and pushing looking for that elusive thing we call happiness and fulfillment. Bringing our spirit and soul to work is the happiness and fulfillment. The fourth obstacle that stands in the way of fulfilling Passion and Purpose is perfectionism. The perfectionist has unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. If you are invested in always being right, in making others wrong, this will greatly inhibit your pursuit of happiness and create a barrier in the fulfilling of your Passion and Purpose.

We can all strive for excellence without the need to dominate, control and be critical of ourselves and others. Once again, the lack of compassion, kindness and empathy, dwells at the center of perfectionism. And embedded at the core, is fear. When you live from a critical and controlling place the unauthentic response to being challenged will create defensiveness. As a result, there will be disconnection and alienation, even if you're right.

All of the above obstacles and pitfalls are centered in fear. Out of the fear a belief system of selfishness and self centeredness is designed. These pitfalls are so embedded into our work culture that they are seen as normal. Fortunately, more and more of us are awakening to the need for change and finding ways to be fulfilled and happy in service to others. Natural law will always work on our behalf when we are fulfilling our Passion and Purpose. As you follow your calling, people, resources and support systems will just show up. You are no different than a lighthouse with its beacon showing the way home to the ships at sea. The life force within each of us is the core of our authenticity and hence, our creativity. When connected to this deep place within we will circumvent fear and attract all of the good we could ever imagine. Below are a few questions to ask yourself in your pursuit of Passion and Purpose.

1. What excites you in a way that you would want to participate in daily?

2. When you are doing this exciting thing, does time and space temporarily cease to exist?

3. Do you feel challenged at a physical, emotional and spiritual level?

4. Is there a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and achievement that manifests from these challenges?

5. When participating in what excites you, do you have a clear sense that this is what you want to be doing?

6. Do you enjoy this work so much that you would do it for free?

7. Do you get excited when you talk to others about what you do?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions you are certainly living from a place of Passion and Purpose. If you find you just wake up to go to your job without the accompanying passion, creativity and excitement, give yourself permission to get support. You deserve to feel fulfilled in this lifetime, and to be able to look back and feel you've made a difference for the better of mankind and/or the planet.

Brad Stevenson and Bob Sugar of Trans-World Dynamics' (TWD) mission is to guide individuals, couples, executives and businesses toward the practice of:

Trustworthiness, Honesty, Authenticity, Neutrality, Kindness, and Surrender (THANKs®).

As these sustainable principles serve to guide individuals in all areas of their lives, the rewards that we have seen CEOs, companies, executives and individuals experience are unprecedented.

Why Positive Thinking Doesn't Work

2008-04-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of the great fallacies in the self-help industry is the notion that you can change your life with "positive thinking."

The purveyors of positivism, starting with Napoleon Hill and including the people who now promote The Secret, contend that we all have, at our conscious disposal, the means to transform ourselves into walking, breathing success machines.

Some self-help gurus sell positive thinking because they know it is one of the most lucrative products to put in the marketplace. Change one thought and you can change your life! What better promise can you make to an underachieving, wanna-be-rich-and-successful couch potato?

And purely from a profit point of view, they are right. Positive thinking products making quick-and-easy promises account for more than a billion dollars a year in direct-mail and Internet sales. And that's just for the companies I personally know. The total number is probably multiples of that.

I am not saying all proponents of positive thinking are hucksters. Many are honest men and women who believe in the concept because they use it successfully in their own lives. They are usually people who have always been accomplished, excelling in sports or academics or business almost from the start. Their repeated successes gave them confidence that they can do just about anything. And they readily tap into that underlying feeling of confidence whenever they face a new challenge. In their hearts, they know they can succeed. So when they take on anything new, they can't help but believe they will be successful.

But what about the rest of the world? The 80 percent of the population that got C's in school and sat on the bench during ball games and had little or no success in business? What messages are buried in their hearts?

Well, the positive thinkers will tell you that is exactly the point. The people who struggle on without success are failing because they don't really think they can succeed. If only they could change their thinking, they would do better.

And so the therapy for these self-doubters is positive thinking. Stand in front of the mirror in the morning and repeat 20 times: "I am a good person. I can do anything. I will be successful."

It's very appealing. Two or three minutes of talking to your mirrored image, and a mental switch will be turned. Everything after that will come to you effortlessly.

The reality is different.

Does Positive Thinking Work?
A study mentioned by Julie Norem in her book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking confirms my belief that though positive thinking may work for people who already have an optimistic way of looking at their abilities, it doesn't work for people who are pessimists.

Researchers divided their subjects (all identified as pessimists) into two groups. They told one group that, based on their past performance, they were going to do well on a standardized test they were about to be given. And these subjects indicated on a pre-test survey that they did, indeed, feel optimistic about their results. The second group was not given any encouragement. The results? The first group, the temporarily optimistic pessimists, actually performed worse on the test.

I've been critical of the idea of positive thinking for years, because I think it is useless to the people who most need help in changing their lives: people who have deeply held negative feelings about what they can accomplish.

Positive thinking works only for those who are emotionally positive. Usually, these are people who have a history of being successful. People who have been good wrestlers, for example, find it easy to believe they will win their next wrestling match. Entrepreneurs like yours truly find it easy to believe their next business venture will be successful.

When you are emotionally positive, you can't help but think positively about everything.

So thinking positively helps. But it only helps the 20 percent of the population that is already emotionally positive. The rest of the population, the 80 percent of the world that is emotionally negative, cannot be helped by positive thinking.

I knew this was true, though I didn't know exactly why. When I wrote about it in the past, many ETR readers objected. When I spoke about it at conferences, attendees complained to me afterward. They seemed angry. As if I was trying to take something precious away from them.

They believed I was trying to deny their best chance of succeeding. Meanwhile, what I was really trying to do was get them to stop conning themselves and take the specific actions that would help them achieve their goals.

As the years passed, I would meet some of these same people at other conferences. They were still attending self-improvement seminars, still carrying positive-thinking books, and still upset with me for telling them that positive thinking wouldn't change their fortunes. It had, after all, worked for the people promoting all those seminars and books.

Year after year. Decade after decade. They stayed poor. They stayed stuck. But they wouldn't give up their dream of changing their lives quickly and easily by changing their thinking.

I was never able to articulate why it was that I knew positive thinking would never work for these people. But then I read a book that helped me understand: A General Theory of Love. It was written by three eminent psychotherapists and neuroscientists. I have posted my notes on this book on my website (which I recommend you read), but let me tell you very briefly what it taught me that sheds light on this issue.

Essentially, our emotions are deeply rooted in the way our minds are wired. There is a scientific basis for many of our emotional responses and how we relate to others. At the same time, our interactions with the world and people around us have a profound impact on our attitude. This interaction, which can actually alter neural pathways in the brain, begins in infancy and influences our development.

So if you grew up with negative feelings about your ability to achieve success, that's the way your brain is wired. And no amount of positive thinking will change it.

Here is what the authors of A General Theory of Love have to say about the self-help industry:

"A vigorous self-help movement has championed the hoax that a strong-willed person, outfitted with the proper directions, can select good relationships. Those seduced into the promise of a quick fix gobble it up. But the physiology of emotional life cannot be dispelled with a few words...

"... Self-help books are like car repair manuals: You can read them all day, but doing so doesn't fix a thing."

To change yourself from being emotionally negative to emotionally positive, you have to get some solid successes under your belt. And that's where another success technique - visualization - comes in. But this one works. Visualization is a proven and useful technique for achieving peak performance.

It's no secret that many of the most successful people in the world - including entertainers, athletes, and CEOs - used visualization to help them achieve their goals.

Take Tiger Woods...

"Visualization has become a major part of my shot-making, especially as it pertains to shaping shots... It makes a huge difference in your performance."

And Jack Nicklaus, one of the greatest golfers to ever grace the game, said, "I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head. It's like a color movie."

Famed sports psychologist Bob Rotella charges thousands of dollars per session to help pro athletes and business executives achieve success through visualization. In addition to coaching pro PGA golfers and top athletes in the NBA and NFL, he coaches high-ranking executives at Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, General Electric, Coca-Cola, and many other companies.

Matt Furey - world-class martial artist and top Internet marketer - credits visualization for his success. Matt's wrestling coach told the scrawny, uncoordinated high school teen he never had a chance. But by using the power of visualization, Matt gained the confidence to win match after match - and became a champion wrestler in high school and college.

Later, Matt became World Kung Fu Champion - thanks, again, to visualization and the very positive attitude that was now buried deep in his limbic brain (the part of the brain involved in emotional behavior).

As I said, people who are emotionally positive about their chances for success have a history of succeeding. They're doers, not dreamers. So forget about positive thinking. Instead, start rewiring your brain by working toward the goal you want to achieve or practicing the skill you want to master.

At first, you won't feel very good about what you're doing, because you won't be very good at it. But stick with it. Remember that it takes about thousand hours to achieve competency in anything that's worthwhile.

Start by setting very modest objectives. Use visualization to help you excel at specific tasks and overcome specific challenges. But don't waste your time repeating useless mantras. Actions - only actions - will reprogram your limbic brain and turn you into a real "success machine."

Article written by Michael Masterson for Early to Rise, the Internet's most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

Why Pursue Happiness Over Money?

2008-04-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

What a question! You can say that. But did you know that when it comes to life priorities, people are always wondering whether or not they ought to pursue money more or to be in a career where they are more fulfilled in? Sometimes, it's easier to choose money and fame. In situations like we need to feed the baby, to care for the parents, to make sure there's shampoo in the shower and bread in the kitchen and many other consideration, who can blame someone who'd choose fame and money from happiness. Yet, it's important for us that our careers aren't tossed-up between happiness or financial security. Given the best option for you to choose, would you agree with me that we need to choose what is more important: fulfillment, equated to happiness, over money?

Why pursue happiness over money? Again, a thought-provoking question (or is it?) when your body's run dry, and health care seems to be the first thing you worry about whenever payday comes, it's a sure sign that your high-paying yet high-stress job just isn't worth it. Wellness and well-being are the best benchmarks of a great career. When your job is something you enjoy doing, and not something you feel like you have to just drag your body out of bed for, in order to get to, then you are at the best possible place for you to be in.

In order to be at your most productive, you have to love what you're doing. So in order to help you find what you should get into, you could ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is it that you are passionate about?

Passion is the best determinant for one's career. When you are passionate about something, you would give your all to what you are doing, and you would consequently reap the best results possible. You won't look to the left nor to the right when you are driven to succeed in what you are doing; rather, you will put your energies into it, and consequently, you will be at your most productive, and yet since you enjoy your tasks, you will feel like it's mere child's play to do what you have to for your goals and targets.

2.How much do you want to earn?

Yes, we talked about choosing happiness over money, but it is important to know how much you want to earn from your job or business in order to position yourself well. This would prove beneficial, if, say, you are aiming for two careers. One is something you love doing, but wouldn't let you even pay the bills. The other is something you also love doing, you may not be as passionate about it, but you could still lose yourself doing the tasks for that job, plus it pays much more than the other career path you could take. Setting your target salary or income would help you make the right decisions and take the career path that's best for you.

3.What life or work-related experiences do you want to have?

Maybe you are one of those people who get into a job or a business in order to gather experience for the career/business you are ultimately targeting. If so, define the kind of career experiences you would like to have, and aim to get these, and use these as ladder steps to your ultimate goal. When you are scouting for jobs, use this definition to divide the line between the jobs you are considering and to help you choose the ones that would help you on to your goal.

A career is never just about money. It's about having a purpose in what you do, and being happy about it. Having a career should never eat up on your family time, or sap the happiness from your life. Aim for jobs or career moves that will allow you to grow, be happy and do the things you love doing, while providing for food on the table. Getting the best of both worlds isn't brain surgery, and in the long run, it just might save you from needing a brain surgery yourself.

Mina Togonon is Journalism graduate, someone who's most willing to learn, adopt and would love to share her opinions and talents for development. She writes out of passion in her personal blog 24 Hour Paradigm, she teaches out of commitment and she lives in a society where women are garnering status and power...silently but getting stronger everyday.

Using Your Creativity To Find Satisfaction In Life

2008-04-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

You make your life happen

So many people live their lives as though it is something that just "happens" to them. This is very sad because they are unaware that they are creating their own life and so they live their lives by default usually ending up with disappointment, depression and fear. Every single person on the earth has the power to create their own lives. Using that power brings us the greatest satisfaction and happiness that life has to offer. One of the ways we create our own lives is to use our creativity. Our creativity can be expressed in many different ways. Some people express their creativity by writing stories or poetry. Other people express their creativity with artistic expressions ranging from painting or drawing to sculpting to sewing or other types of crafts. Still for other people their creativity is expressed through interior design, make-up artistry or hairdressing. There are countless ways a person can express their creativity and each one of them brings intense satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment to the persons who allow themselves to fully use the capacity for creativity that exists within them.

Designing your own life

In some cases a person can use their creativity to literally design their life the way they want it to be. They use all the power of their imagination to see themselves being successful in their relationships, their careers and even in their spiritual lives. As they create these realistic impressions in their minds they begin to receive inspirational thoughts on how to manifest their desires into reality. As they take action on the inspiration they receive, their lives begin to take the shape they had imagined in their minds. According to Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich", this is exactly how all great successes have ever been created. Even a person who doesn't consider themselves the "creative type" can use their hidden creativity to design a successful life for themselves and their families.

Developing your talents

Most people have a variety of talents that they can express their creativity with and become successful at. It is important to explore all of your talents and take the time to develop and perfect them as much as possible. If Rembrandt had spent all of his time working in a factory and then sat in front of a television set for hours each day after work, you would never have heard of him and the world would have been cheated out of some amazing works of art. Don't cheat yourself or the world by wasting your life away on unimportant things, take the time to develop your creativity and see where it leads you.

Summary

Your life is whatever you decide to make of it. Each person has their own unique talents and creative abilities that they can use to shape the outcome of their lives. Talents are not developed in front of a television screen, so it is important to use your time wisely and discover or hone your special creative skills and abilities. As you use your creativity wisely you will discover greater satisfaction in life.

Andrea R. Lucas is the leading expert in the area of Life-Scripts, the blueprints by which we all live our lives. She is the founder of the DYSALA Method, which identifies the seven steps necessary to change a negative Life-Script to a positive one, and to live the life of happiness and abundance you have always wanted. Andrea is the author of "7 Steps To Personal Fulfillment" and numerous articles on this fascinating subject.

http://www.7StepsToPersonalFulfillment.com and http://www.SevenSecretSteps.com

Be More Creative - Are You Making Space In Your Life For Creativity To Fill?

2008-04-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

Often when we complain we're not more creative, the problem isn't actually at the source of our creativity. There's plenty of creative potential waiting to be called into action in all of us, and no shortage of ideas queuing up to be explored and developed. The problem is instead that your creativity has no outlet, nowhere to go, no space to fill.

Picture a young boy on a beach, digging big holes in the sand. The tide is slowly coming in and getting closer to where he's digging and he knows this and continues to carve out his holes. Pretty soon, he's stood in one up to his waist. The waves rush up the beach and seconds later our little friend with his bucket and spade is up to his waist in water.

The sea washes over and fills any dips and crevasses on the beach as it flows. If there's nothing but perfectly flat sand, the sea just washes right over the surface.

It's the same with your creativity. Your creativity will always be there, ebbing and flowing like a mighty ocean. And if you make space for it to fill - if you dig your own holes on your beach, it will gush in and fill them. If you don't, it simply washes over the surface, barely making any impact.

So what can you do to make sure you have made space for creativity in YOUR life?

There are 3 main areas:

1. Making space for creativity in your mind. If you don't have a welcoming and open attitude to creativity and being creative in your mind, you'll always struggle to create consistently. Think for a moment about your beliefs around your creativity. Do you truly believe that you're creative? Do you believe that new ideas will always flow to you? Do you believe that creativity is important in enough to you to make space for in your life?

If the answer to any of these is less than a resounding "YES", then it would pay off to spend some time working on some more positive beliefs, beliefs that allow you to welcome the idea that you're highly creative into your mind and allow you to be as creative as you can be.

2. Making space for creativity in your schedule. If you have the approach that many of us do, you tend not to make creative time much of a priority. "I create when I have time, I'm got so much other stuff going on in my life right now" is the general way of thinking. But, as I'm sure you know, saying you'll create "when you have time" is pretty much the same as saying "I rarely create".

The only way to create consistently is to create everyday. To actually make creativity enough of a priority to commit to 15 minutes minimum at the same time each and every day to creating. 15 minutes is only 1% of your total time each day. I'm sure you'll agree that anyone who wants to be more creative will find at least that amount of time to commit to it.

3. Making space for creativity in your physical surroundings. Do you have a desk or some kind of workspace where you go to create? Is there somewhere you get straight into creating whenever you wish? If each time you go to create you're overwhelmed by stacks of paperwork and other general clutter, and you have to clear a lot of stuff away before you have space to create, it's an instant creativity killer.

What can you do to make a space that's easy to create in, where everything you might need - materials, tools, equipment - is ready and close to hand? If you need to spend some time preparing a space to create in, rather than creating, then do this first. It will pay off no end in the long term, and allow you to create so much more easily, freely and deeply.

These are the 3 key areas to making space for creativity in your life.

Which if these do you feel you'd most benefit from focusing on? What steps can you take in the next 24 hours to move you forward in this area? Write down what you're going to do and when you're going to do it. Then do it!

I invite you to take the next positive step to increase your creativity today by downloading your free copy of the powerful and practical "Explode Your Creativity!" Action Workbook at http://www.CoachCreative.com

From Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin

Discovering Your Inner Strength

2008-04-16T13:25:00.002-07:00

What is inner strength? We have all seen it before and have watched in awe. Family members, friends, co-workers; people capable of digging into their core and achieve, at least it seemed, almost anything they set out to accomplish. They seemed to have the ability to move beyond fear, pain and worry, and simply focus on their landing spot, not on the ground to be traveled ahead. Are some people simply born with that or is it something that people can learn? I wondered about it often going through a divorce and being forced to think deeply about my life and the way I lived it. I watched carefully to see if there was something different about them overall, but couldn't pinpoint it. What I knew was that I was not one of those people. If something I was doing made me feel uncomfortable, I stopped doing it.

It wasn't until I was almost 40 that I hired a trainer to see if I could learn to be a fast runner. I was clear I could run the distance, as I had already crossed two marathon finish lines, but they both had the same style: slow and steady. It was my style, it seemed, by nature. I was good for the long haul, the commitment, but it would be slow and steady and without discomfort. So I thought this would be the perfect chance for me to see if in fact you could be taught how to find that inner strength, or if it was a gift that you either had or didn't.

On the first day of training, what I learned was that my very cute outfit was not going to be enough to get me through this workout. In my family, as long as you had the right outfit, one that made you feel good about yourself and looked good in the pictures, you were good to go. But in this arena, with my good looking 30-something trainer, I was clear that my outfit was the last thing he noticed. As a matter of fact, after the first ten minutes, I became consumed with where I could vomit and how that could ruin my reputation in the gym forever.

Did you want to ask me how old I was? I asked the trainer, in hopes of him lowering his goals for me.

No. Not necessary. I have seen you train...

That answer was not settling at all since my snail pace around the track, smiling all the way, was really based on my comfortable and steady pace.

I survived the first session, but questioned whether I would come back. I even considered donating the other nine sessions I had bought to a needy athlete somewhere. My trainer, though, was clearly onto me and was not going to let me bail out. Somewhere deep, he saw potential in me.

It seemed that his ability to see what I couldn't was just what I needed. I didn't become a speed demon over the next several sessions, but what I learned from him was invaluable. As American Express says, priceless. He taught me to listen to my inner voice and create the strength that I wanted to exist. He tuned out my complaints about what I could or couldn't do and told me to do it anyway. He taught me to feel the pain, become aware of sensations in my legs and to welcome the discomfort as a sign that I was moving to the next level.

It was an experience that definitely impacted my life. Although I didn't become a track star at 40, I clearly was learning to move beyond the discomfort that often gave me the permission to stop. One session while running sprints, I literally stopped, even though I knew he was timing me. I walked for a minute, and then began again to the finish.

Great job, he said, rattling off my time, but I said to run...not walk.
But my legs were...

He knew where I was going with my complaint and knew better than to hear me out. His goal was my goal, which was to get me to the other side. So what? He said without emotion. I said to run, so let's try that again.

I got that message loud and clear that day and realized how often I chose to settle into my comfort zone, rather than pushing myself to the end. It was a conscious choice I made regularly, as much as I wanted to believe it was some higher force. It made me think about how often I choose to stop, due to the discomfort I was feeling emotionally, or physically. His voice has stayed with me even two years later and still impacts the things I do. Whether soul searching for new clients, managing the drama of two teenage sons, or just running up the last hill of the race, the voice is still the same...your inner strength is there, you just have to choose to use it.

Lesley Geller is a Business Coach. She helps successful professionals exceed their expectations of growth. She works with small business owners, as well as individuals in large corporations looking to reach the next level. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland is certified as a Coach through the Coach Training Alliance, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. She is also a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. For more information about how to reach the potential you're capable of, visit her website at http://www.LesleyGeller.com or e-mail her at Lesley@LesleyGeller.com

Self Empowerment, Empower And Excel!

2008-04-16T13:25:00.001-07:00

Empowerment is simply put, personal growth. It's a form of maturity. Personal growth can come from challenges that you conquer. Have you ever took on some type of a challenge where other people were involved also? Like a running marathon or perhaps something on a smaller scale. But the object was not necessarily to win but to empower ones self to finish more so than to win. The object to you was just to see if you could do it. these type of challenges enables us to grow. To grow in a way that we know who we are. No one should ever tell you who you are, this is something that you yourself should be aware of and the more self empowered that you become the more that you will be aware. Believe it or not there is a power in that. A power of confidence that no one can ever take away from you.

I guess that that is why men strive to challenge themselves everyday sometimes, to become self empowered in other areas of their lives and thus becoming more. Always trying to be more, become more than they were the day before. One quality of a man is to be courageous. Are you courageous? Challenges! Challenges are different from one person to another. Each individual will go so far. Incidentally I'm not singling out women because women have the same issues as men when it comes to personal growth. Getting back to challenges. Challenges enables us as human beings to be able to gauge just how far we are willing to go for our quest for personal growth or self empowerment. Challenges doesn't always have to be dangerous. Challenges comes in different forms. There are social challenges, physical challenges,intellectual challenges, spiritual challenges and so on.

Actually what it comes down to is whatever area of your personal life that you feel you need more self development in. Such as you may not be a socially active person or out going but you want to be, or you may feel shy or disconnected around large crowds of people, or perhaps a woman that you may have feelings for but you close off or clam up every time you get near her. Self empowerment plays an important part in conquering it. Just because it didn't come natural to you as you were growing up doesn't mean that it can't be changed, although you will have to conquer that social deficiency through possibly "the challenge of going through it".

There are other reasons for certain dysfunctions such as traumatic experiences that leaves some of us less functional in certain areas of our lives that may require a more professional approach to help us to become empowered. I'm not discussing those type of self empowerment situations. Just the ones where people are perfectly normal with no traumatic experiences but more so just afraid to take that next step, kind of like a phobia where you just are afraid to excel because of thinking that something bad is going to happen or nothing may happen so you don't move forward. Whats needed a lot of times is the person needs a greater sense of confidence or self-esteem.

Trying to function with Low self-esteem and with little or no confidence in yourself or even being negative about everything is simply not a good way to empower ones self by no means. It is however a great way to stay unproductive and up under the stigmas that are holding you back from succeeding in your life. If you don't remember but one thing in your life remember this, negative thinking reaps negative results. It's a fact that people who think negatively about everything consistently not only carry themselves with bad body postures as well as always find something wrong in almost every situation.And positive thinking people are just the opposite while reaping positive results or find the positive out of a negative situation. Empowered people aways feel empowered no matter what, thats how you always find the best out of the worst.

The Thing is to get excited about something (not a girlfriend or a boyfriend) but some type of activity that you yourself can participate in and feel positive about, (the girls and boys can come later), the idea is to build up who you are to who you want to become. Having positive thinking and the ability to make change to become a positive person is something worth striving for. Other people will receive you better your out comes will be different and you'll begin to feel the power of change by the great results. Bottom Line: To increase one's positive self-image and overcome stigma!! Thats what self empowerment is all about. It's easy to excel from this type of platform. Let me say that people are all designed to be winners, to prosper, to be positive and most of all to help those that do not possess these Qualities.

Donald Whitehead:
Empowerment to excel! Self Empowerment to improve every aspect of your life.

Self-Esteem Is Something That Is Learned

2008-04-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

Self-esteem. It's one of those terms which has been batted about, used and misused, and often misunderstood during the last couple of decades. For a moment, set aside what you have already heard and what you may think about this term - and learn what a wonderful, important asset self-esteem is to you, and to your life!

Everyone wants to feel good about himself - to hold himself in high regard, and to realize that he has it within himself to reach for and attain his potential. However, if you think about yourself and about all of the people whom you know, you may wonder: how and why do some people have an abundance of this characteristic while others do not?

This is not as mystifying as it may appear! Self-esteem is a trait which is essential for a happy, productive life, and the fortunate ones seem to have more of this "blessing" than others. Notwithstanding, those who have not been so fortunate are completely capable of acquiring self-esteem, and having much more fulfilling lives as a result.

Self-esteem is something which is learned. If there are people in your life who seem to be overflowing with this trait, it is likely that they learned it early in life. Children who are fortunate to be raised in homes where they are frequently praised, and both their accomplishments and their individuality acknowledged on a regular basis, tend to grow up with high levels of self-esteem.

On the other hand, youngsters who are frequently "put down," rarely noticed unless they do something wrong, usually grow up suffering from low self-esteem. They have simply not learned that they, as people, have value.

Fortunately, even if this is the case with you and you are now somewhere in your adult years with little regard for yourself, this can change. You can learn how to see yourself as a truly worthwhile human being; you can learn how to focus on your strengths in order to reach your highest potential! And once you have begun this process, and have started to see amazing results, you will find that you can have a happier, more fulfilling life than you had ever dreamed!

Gaining a healthy level of self-esteem is neither a mysterious nor a difficult task. It will, of course, take motivation and determination on your part. The results, however, are well worth the effort! Learning how to see yourself in an entirely different way than you have before - how many strengths, positives, and potential you really do have! - is sure to be an enriching experience in itself. There is more, though - for when you begin to acknowledge all of assets which you already possess - that is the first step toward building the life of your dreams!

Are You Working With or Against the Current?

2008-04-12T13:05:00.001-07:00

I took the opportunity to go with my family to Golden Beach on the Sunshine Coast at the weekend to enjoy time out doing absolutely nothing involving any mental activity, except to plough through a Dan Brown novel (or is that an oxymoron?)

Sunday morning was a perfect Queensland spring day, temperature in the high 20's Celsius, low humidity, and deep blue skies with the occasional wispy cloud.

Checking out the flat calm, almost mill pond, blue water in PumiceStone Passage between Golden Beach and Bribie Island, we decided to hire a catamaran and a kayak and take to the water.

I took the kayak, and went straight out from the shore confident in my abilities on the flat water. I felt like I was paddling on a lake, it was so easy to make progress. I called to my husband on the catamaran, to let him know how easy kayaking is since I was just going with the current and not putting in much effort. It was so easy, so effortless. Oh, if I had just listened to what I was actually saying to myself!!

This is a good time to confess that I know precious little about tidal movements, currents and the like. I am a born land lubber. I had no idea that the incoming tide was creating a very fast current to the south between the island and the mainland, and what looked like flat calm to me, in the absence of white surf, was in fact hiding a very strong south bound tidal current.

After 5 or so minutes of peaceful drifting, wondering idly if the sun would join up the freckles on my arms, and other important questions on the meaning of life, I looked at the shore and realised I have indeed drifted easily with the current a long, long way from my starting point and from my family on their catamaran.

Not being in any way alarmed, and in total blissful ignorance of my real situation, I pointed the kayak north toward my family's boat and paddled toward them for about 10 minutes. I was still enjoying the perfect Queensland Sunday. Looking towards land I realised with dawning horror that my efforts were in vain, I was not moving closer to my family. In fact, I was paddling hard against a current which seemed to be gaining strength.

Not one to be deterred, I increased my efforts. I concentrated on my paddling technique to improve efficiency of movement and effort and focussed on the goal of reaching my family in the catamaran, now some 150 metres distant. I started to make slight, very slight, headway. After 5 more minutes of hard paddling, I was feeling mildly panicked as I realised I was getting more and more tired and I was firmly caught in the current.

There was no way I was going to get to my family if I kept on doing what I was doing!

I was out of my depth with out a life vest on a kayak in deep water!

Thankfully I have good friends who are qualified Surf Life Savers. I remembered a conversation where they explained how many tourist visitors to Australia get caught in rip tides and drown. A rip tide is an invisible(to the untrained eye) trap offshore which unwary swimmers get caught up in and get dragged in the rip away from shore. The swimmers often battle the rip until exhaustion takes over and they drown. The trick my friend told me is to swim across the rip at 90 degrees to safety - never to swim against the rip.

Remembering this conversation, and hoping the current was indeed a channel, like a rip, I turned the kayak through 90 degrees and headed west across the current to shore. I changed my point of focus from reaching my family to getting myself to safety.

A few more minutes of effort took me out of the current channel into safe waters. After this slight detour I redirected the kayak north and paddled toward my family sailing in blissful unawareness on their catamaran. I like to take the lessons from difficult situations and to see the life metaphors as well.

Sometime in life we drift along easily and effortlessly riding the current of life to where it takes us, only to find we have drifted over the years to a long, long way from where we had planned to be. Sometimes too, we struggle towards a goal which we have a strong emotional investment in, only to find that in the struggle we are making no progress and simply exhausting ourselves getting nowhere. The current we are struggling against is just too strong for us.

And sometimes too, when we take stock of our situation, we find that focussing on a different short term goal will get us much closer to our long term goal with a lot less effort and a lot less risk. If you are in a position where you find yourself a long way from where you wanted to be, or if you take stock and find that you are putting in a lot of work and effort not getting anywhere then I suggest you take timeout to look at what current you are drifting in or fighting against.

Coaching is a simple way to review where you are and to assist you to refocus on the goal which is most likely to get you to where you really want to be. Coaching helps you put to your energies into heading in the direction which will take you to your long term goal with the least effort.

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is an author, Speaker, Trainer and Executive Coach and is passionate about facilitating results in the businesses, professional and personal lives of her clients. For more information http://www.thirdsigma.com.au

Are You Working With or Against the Current?

2008-04-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning was a perfect Queensland spring day, temperature in the high 20's Celsius, low humidity, and deep blue skies with the occasional wispy cloud.

Checking out the flat calm, almost mill pond, blue water in PumiceStone Passage between Golden Beach and Bribie Island, we decided to hire a catamaran and a kayak and take to the water.

There was no way I was going to get to my family if I kept on doing what I was doing!

I was out of my depth with out a life vest on a kayak in deep water!

Preserving the Vision to Achieving Success

2008-04-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

Many people never accomplished their goals or dreams, not because they did not have the resources to do so, but because they lost the vision. A vision is a very powerful component to achieving one's goals. Usually when we set out to accomplish something great, we usually lack the resources to do so. A very few people can just decide to write a book that becomes a bestseller. Even if they have the money, they need the time. Even if they have the money and time, they need years of experience and knowledge of the subject. So while resources are lacking at present, there is one thing that is available; The Vision.

Vision is what the finished product looks like. A baker does not see the flour, eggs, butter, etc. when they set out to bake a cake. The baker envisions a cake; the finished product. Then they begin to work with the flour, eggs, butter, etc. to produce the finished products. Likewise, whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish needs to be envisioned and it needs to be a very clear vision. If the vision is blurry then the steps to getting to the end result will be blurry.

So then if the vision is so important to accomplishing a task or reaching a goal, then it needs to be protected. Your vision, believe it or not, is as much an asset as your time and money you are investing towards your goal. In fact, the vision is the most important resource you are working with. Life will present a variety of distractions that can quench the fire of the vision. However, if you would see the distractions as 'smoke and mirrors', you will do well in protecting the vision. As long as the vision remains clear and burning, progress towards the end result is being made. If you loose sight of the vision, you are moving away from the finish point.

So think about your vision for a minute. Are you trying to accomplish goals in your life (family, school, career) without a clear vision in mind? Then I would venture to say that you are frustrated. You are frustrated because the vision, which is the blueprint to your dreams is not clear. Or worst, you do not have a blueprint at all!

So first you must re-focus your mind to see what it is you are aiming towards. Frame the vision in your mind and then proceed. There is a saying in the Bible that says, "Without a vision, the people perish." - We all need something to hold on to. The vision is what keeps you on course towards the goal.

Mark A. Singh
For more Life changing Principles, please visit my site:
Leading In Life

Are You Afraid Of The Critic?

2008-04-12T12:58:00.000-07:00

Where does the fear of critic come from? In fact nobody knows what originated this fear, but we know that the human being suffers it in a very widespread way.

Perhaps this is a consequence of our daily fight for the status, and either we know that other ones are really worth more than us, or they find something to criticize in us.

This fear so ingrained in the human being and that so much good would make us take out from us it is on the other hand a very important element to keep in mind if we are in commerce, because every year it reports juicy benefits, creating fashion articles.

Another reason why the fear of critic is today so strong, might be the little flexibility that the rulers of most of the countries have to receive critics (in some countries a critic can cost the life of a person).

The fear of critics destroys the capacity to imagine, the trust in itself, and the initiative of the individual, mainly if that critic comes from people whom he respects, like his own parents.

The critic has such a strength coming from people that we respect that sometimes reaches the value of the prophecy: how many mothers that raised their children telling them sentences like "if you keep on doing that, you will finish being a criminal as your father" found themselves spending their weekends making visits at some penitentiary.

Of all the services of which today we can enjoy, perhaps the most abundant to find is that of the critic. We find it all around us, and everybody seems to have an abundant stock to provide us; being generally the worst our own relatives.

THE MAIN SYMPTOMS OF THE FEAR TO THE CRITIC ARE:

Lack of naturalness: that it will be expressed with constant twinkling, stupidity in the movements, shyness and fear to be contacted by strange people

Lack of serenity: that it will be noticed as edginess in front of the other ones, lack of voice control and poor memory

Weak personality: lack of stability and slowness in the taking of decisions, lack of personal charm, impossibility to stand for something, and the tendency to grant the reason to the other ones; and to accept defeat without protesting.

Inferiority complex: the habit of boasting in front of others usually hides an inferiority feeling. To criticize others on their back and to flatter them in their presence; shows a great inability to accept the reasonable critics to our own errors.

Competition Attitude: this is the habit of spending more than we can, to be to the neighbor's height, and to imitate others in the way they express or dress themselves.

Lack of Initiative: this takes us to waste the opportunities of progress, because of the lack of trust in our own ideas, and fear to express our opinions.

Author of THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp and it's 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at http://www.drbonomi.com and also author of The Easy Home Business Web Site at http://www.easy-home-business.com Dr. Bonomi's CD 32 is about Fear

Dysfunctional Internal Relationships

2008-04-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Growing up in less than perfect families, most of us have learned dysfunctional relating to some degree. We treat ourselves as we were treated within the family, in school, in church, and by peers. We relate to ourselves as we learned to relate to the people around us. For example, if someone had frightening emotional explosions, and my whole family was afraid, then I am liable to be afraid of my own feelings today. In this way, the atmosphere of early childhood is carried forward into adult life.

Now that I've painted such a grim picture, what do I have to offer as a solution? Plenty! The key to solving the problem is in creating a functional system. I believe that healing begins within the individual.

The first step is to correct our internal dysfunction: that is, to learn to deal with ourselves directly and honestly, face our internal truth. The human mind is very beautiful, very complex -- nothing short of a miracle. Our thinking is so complex, that it is possible to have several voices inside, each holding different opinions simultaneously!

Most of the clients who come to me have a virtual battle going on inside. Blaming, defending, making excuses, resisting, are all going on at once within a single person's mind. All of these varying levels of thought and opinion must be sorted out. They each need to be heard individually -- so you can find out what the fight is about. Then you must act as a mediator for them, getting each aspect of your mind to be a part of the whole, so that all your varying opinions of what must be done are working together. Often, this takes the help of a therapist or a support group. As you do this, you'll recognize the source of some of the voices: "Oh yeah, that's my Mom, criticizing everything I do, never satisfied. Wow, I didn't realize I was doing that to myself! She's been dead 10 years!" Understanding that the running commentary in your head is not actually your Mom, just your learned imitation of her gives you the clues you need to make the corrections. Once you realize who the model for your inner critic is, it needs to be corrected. A self-examining attitude will keep you growing and learning.

However, you don't need an inner critic that is hostile, demanding, or relentless. Instead, you can create a voice that is kind, encouraging and supportive. For example: "I did a good job at work today. I'm getting better and better at sales. When I talk to Joe next time, though, I'm going to be a little more low key, ask him about his family, I think I might have come on a little too strong at first." In this way, you can create a functional support committee out of the mental struggle. Once all your reactions and ideas are working together, you will be able to feel upset about something, sympathize with the part of your mind that's upset, and still be thinking calmly about the solution to the problem. Amazing! Having yourself to talk to about your problems is a true blessing. How often have each of us wished for "someone to talk to" about something? How often have we been willing to be that someone for another person? Just as an experiment, try getting your capacity to listen and support together with your need to be heard and supported. You'll find out it works! I know, it sounds, well, weird. That's the dysfunction in the society talking. It's not weird, it's healthy. Knowing you can and will be there for yourself is at the heart of self-esteem. As you achieve functional relating to yourself, you'll create a role model for healthy relationships with others: friends, family, lovers, and business associates. You'll recognize the people who are willing to relate to me in a supportive and helpful manner, and you'll be capable of relating to them in the same way. As you become clear and honest with yourself, you won't allow nasty surprises into your life any more. You'll instinctively know when you're being lied to, and it won't work on you. You'll recognize the difference between love and dependency, and choose to love and be loved. You'll stop creating and participating in unnecessary drama, because you'll know that you're strong enough, and clear enough to ask for what you want, and even to accept "no" for an answer. When you get a "no" you just go elsewhere for what you want. As you become a self_supporting, functional person, you won't lean too heavily on anyone else. Relationships become mutual, with a balance between supporting yourself and each other. No one needs to run away from you because you won't demand what others are not prepared to give. You can get what you need from yourself, and enjoy what others want to freely give. If this sounds good, create the change by rebuilding the critical voice in your head, into the kind of nurturing and acceptance you always wanted, the voice that loves and supports you. Instead of blaming a critical parent, sibling or friend for upsetting you, you'll be free to have a new kind of relationship. As you see others more objectively, and less from the perspective of your needs, you'll see them differently, and love and forgiveness will become available, for yourself and for them.

Author Bio:
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. http://www.tinatessina.com is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 11 books, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page); How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page); The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley) and The Real 13th Step: Discovering Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs (New Page.) Her newest books, out from Adams Press in 2008: Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage and Commuter Marriage. She publishes Happiness Tips from Tina, an e-mail newsletter, and the "Dr. Romance Blog" http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/ and has hosted "The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" a weekly hour long radio show. She is an online expert, answering relationship questions at http://www.CouplesCompany.com and Yahoo!Personals, as well as a Redbook Love Network expert and "Psychology Smarts" columnist for First for Women.Dr. Tessina guests frequently on radio, and on such TV shows as "Oprah", "Larry King Live" and ABC news

There Is Always Something to Love

2008-04-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

The alternative to rejecting something about the moment, which is what the ego does, is finding something to love about it. There is always something to love in every moment. Can you find a sensation, something of beauty, or a sound that is loveable? Is peace here, even just a sliver? Is love? Is contentment? Is the universe holding together? Being happy and not being happy is largely a matter of what you focus on. The ego can be miserable, and you can still be happy if you find something loveable about what is going on. This is hard for the ego to do but easy for you because there is plenty that is loveable about life. From essence's standpoint, all of life is loveable because it experiences life differently than the ego. Essence says yes to life, while the ego says no. Paying attention to the ego's rejection of life will make you miserable, while paying attention to what is loveable will fill you with love.

The secret to happiness is to love-not to be loved, but to love. Loving is essentially saying yes to life-accepting it. Loving feels good, even better than being loved. Nothing feels better than loving. However, the ego doesn't want to love as much as it wants other things, such as power and security. It would rather feel angry or sad or any other emotion than love. Emotions give the ego some identity, some reason for existing. They give it a problem to fix. The ego doesn't want to love because loving makes the ego feel vulnerable. It doesn't trust love because it isn't what creates or experiences love. Loving is the domain of essence, and when you are experiencing love, you are experiencing essence. So, all you have to do to move out of the ego and into essence is find something to love. This is easy-but the catch is you have to want to.

The "you" that wants to move out of ego-identification and into alignment with essence is the "you" that is already not identified with the ego. That is a catch! The ego doesn't want this, but something else does, and that is essence as it moves through you. There comes a point in your spiritual evolution when you become aware of a "you" that can choose to move out of ego-identification. You begin to wake up out of ego-identification and live more as essence in the world. Essence is what chooses love over the ego's values. Essence is what loves, not the ego.

Once you choose to find what's loveable about the moment, you will find many things. One thing that is always loveable is simply your willingness to love. What a miracle! In the midst of such a painful and difficult world, you have within you a willingness to love. That goodness within you is extremely loveable. The good news is that that goodness is within everyone else too, although it's often hidden by the ego. Still, there are many, many examples of it evident in people when you look for it.

One of the easiest ways for us to experience love is to give our attention to something we love. Just looking at our pets, for instance, opens our Heart, which is why they are such a gift to us. Of course our children and other loved ones also do this for us, although their egos and ours often complicate this. Our pets' lack of ego allows our ego to relax and stay in the background. Anything of beauty also evokes our love: beauty in nature, physical beauty, beautiful colors, art, and music. Since beauty is always available, love is always available.

You can also experience love for the gift of being alive and for being able to experience the moment you are experiencing. This is the love essence feels as it experiences life through this physical body. What a wonder the physical body is! This sense of wonder and gratitude for life, the body, and for other living things is love. The love that you are is in awe of life. When you move your attention onto that which loves life, you feel complete. Nothing more is needed in this moment than that. What a surprise that life can be this simple and this complete!

Finding something to love about every moment is the antidote to the ego's rejection of the moment. When you find yourself struggling against life, stop and notice what is beautiful and loveable right now. And don't just stop with one thing; find another and another. Your life can be lived from this place of celebration and gratitude rather than from a place of rejection. It is your choice.

Gina Lake has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and over twenty years experience as an astrologer and a channel. She is the author of several books, including Radical Happiness, Anatomy of Desire, Choosing Love, Getting Free, Living Your Destiny, and Return to Essence. Gina is available for astrological and channeled phone consultations that support awakening and living a conscious life. For more info, to order her books, to read excerpts, to listen to talks, to receive a free newsletter, or to download the free e-book: Radiance: Experiencing Divine Presence, please visit http://www.radicalhappiness.com

Graphic Designer - Torn Between His Fears and Creativity!

2007-12-28T07:32:00.000-08:00

by Essam Abu Awad

Introduction

The kind of fear which I shall tackle in this article is an every day feeling or phenomenon. Fear is a totally human reaction and feeling disregarding man's age, looks, nerves, muscles or how bold he/she is. From the psychological point of view, fear is defined as one of the basic senses or emotions that man feels. However, it may accompany anger, pleasure, grieve, or sadness. Generally speaking, fear is associated with those emotions emanating from real tangible or intangible dangers. But, it stands in the opposite side with concern or yearning, which are normally resulting from a surprise, threat, danger of whatsoever.

Fear may appear when a man is exposed to an embarrassing or humiliating situation, or when watching others undergoing such fear themselves, or when receiving some horrific news. Frequency or long exposure to fear may lead a man to a state of lack of balance, especially when a man resists his fatigue, emotional setbacks, agitation, the organic changes he is undergoing resulting from the nervous apparatus, like increased rate of adrenaline, abnormal cardiac beats, which are all accompanied by excessive sweating, dry mouth and other symptoms. But, this is not the case at all. The case is, how can the graphic designer face this fear ? How can her control such fear in a positive way? How can he succeed to make use of his fears in a creative way?

This phenomenon is widely known among graphic designers regardless of their professionalism, but it hits it utmost levels among graphic design students. However, it takes a special form when it is brought to the work with all its problems. It stems from two main sources: Insufficiency of the student, and the expanding gap between what he has learned and the market demands. The other case is the inconsistency between the student and his co-workers, i.e. lack of a language of communication between the two. Insufficient knowledge of the task of the graphic designer, would also create an awkward situation to the designer himself and would lead him to frustration and tension.

Like other creative men, a graphic designer needs to live a unique state of creativity by which he can reach the climax by producing a complete work which realizes the long aimed hopes. Living such a state would require him to bring out a design, which is a simple and direct visual means of communication that penetrates deeply into the conception of the receiver.

But, where can this case be ?

How does the concept evolve ?

How can the graphic designer reach to a state of both creativity and invention? Both states mainly rely on the ability of the designer to overcome the state of confusion and uncertainty, which usually starts with the initial steps of concepts evolution. Afterwards, such state would gradually develop and turn to fear. It is quite essential that the designer should overcome his fears by overlooking this state, which the fear might reach.

To overcome this barrier, the designer should have three main things:

1- Self-awareness ,

2- Self-acceptance, and

3- Self-respect.

These conditions and perquisites can help the designer maintain his ideas, and the tools of executing them. On owning such conditions, the designer will be able to utilize and employ his personal potentialities, and be open to creative and artistic ideas and experiences. They would enable him to explore the truth, and to be responsible in his feelings, behaviors and practices. These main aspects would form an ideal setting to encourage the designer to work either alone or within a team, with a positive effect and outcomes which will guide him towards creativity.

However, creativity, or lets say "creative thinking", and problem-solving skills largely depend upon the designer's ability to organize and classify his information, and extract the important and useful pieces of information. To realize this, he should be acquainted with the required work, his environment, the message he intends to deliver, and the means to execute his ideas. All these would grant him a kind of self-protection and defense to his ideas. He would always be strong to break down his confusion and fear.

When would fear & creativity be created?

Both professional and non-professional designers have their shares in these feelings, no matter where they are or how old they are. It is a quite common phenomenon among workers if this creative field. But, graphic designers would reflect these feelings quite differently from the others. They work with high sense of professionalism and efficiency to convey a certain message to a certain audience, to present a certain service or a product in an attractive and distinctive way. Naturally, it is not necessary that the graphic designer has a belief in what he is creating; instead, he should employ his ideas or deigns to satisfy the desires of the client.

Here comes fear and concern. The good graphic designer may wish to realize perfection in his pieces of arts, by introducing a simple and good idea, a unique theme, unused before, and implementing it in a different way using distinctive techniques. We believe that these are the conditions of any creative work on invention, and they reflect the personality of the inventor himself, and therefore they should contribute to create a state of fear or concern which may lead to some kind of imbalance, they would identify the designer's potentialities intuition and intelligence in overcoming this ordeal.

We must not ignore the correlation between graphic design and the different aspects of life, i.e. cultural, economic, political, social and other, which keep forcing themselves upon the designer. It would necessitate that he become informative and educated in various aspects of life. This would be a vital requisite in any advertising or media equation. The graphic design has become one of the most significant industries today. It is closely related to information technology and computer sciences. Moreover, a graphic designer is measured by his ability to speaking the Era's language fluently!

Therefore, we realize that the task if the graphic designer whether he was a student or a worker is very difficult, because it requires a great deal of reading, development, competency, personal abilities, and technical skills. It is not enough that the graphic designer knows how to use the design programs, or software, simply because now every one can master them so easily, but he should be able to develop his techniques and qualifications, just like the driver. Still, the most important thing of all is the ability to create and idea and implementing it. This is and integral part of creativity and which would finally contribute to realize higher expectations. The most creative, informative, conscious, and knowledgeable graphic designers are those who can completely controls their fears and concerns. When a graphic designer reaches that level, he would be so mature and most capable of completing the work even if he was under pressure and would reach creativity at the end.

Unfortunately, fear and concern are a wide spread phenomena among higher studies students of graphic design or designers who explore the labor market. Academically, the state of confusion which the student or the employee undergo is but a part of the fear which the academic plan would create, or the method adopted by the executers of this plan or that. It is also attributed to the absence of accurate specialization among people of graphic design, absence of correct understanding to the identity of the designer to be made, multiple producing bodies of this cadre, lack of a clear strategy to gather all these people and identify the components of the producer (or the type of designer) and the wrong mix between knowledge of computer and concept of graphic design.

People working in the graphic design are living this fear, concern and confusion, and what complicates the matter is the absence of the real criteria of the graphic designers, that is accepted in this realm. Moreover, what add to this problem are the lack of taste among the clients and their ignorance of the role played by the designer, the chaos and disorganization in the market, and the mixing between the academic and the non-academic graphic designer.

However, due to the limited scope of this paper, it wont be proper to address this subject elaborately. I will explore it in another paper.

How to identify the sate of fear among the graphic designers ?

There is some kind of integration between the hidden personality and behaviors of the graphic designer, and what he doesn't want anyone to about him. Therefore, we are looking for a designer who is a real leader, and who can control his hidden shadow, giving the fact that this shadow is a strong and powerful personality currying a large suitcase, he know what is there inside it, he knows as what he takes out of it, and he knows as well what he can put inside. He should be able not to waste the first part of his life filling that suitcase with things, and wasting the other half emptying the same suitcase ! This is what actually reflects a huge instability, insecurity, and a struggle with the first half of his life.. or just accept it the way it is and try to deal with the other half. !

Designer's shadow is the mask that he wears to hide many facts.. trying to choose a mask which suits the world he is searching for to gain the acceptance or help.

Indeed, we admit that the designer is like any one else, he also has weaknesses and strengths. The other mask which the designer may wear id the strength factor. It reflects his physical, conceptual, social, economic stability, and which we consider the major components for success and creativity. Doubtless to say that fear helps to intensify a state of physical, psychological and conceptual depression which leads to negative results, especially if the designer does not possess the components to absorb the shock, contain the consequences, correct the matters, and to direct them in a way he deems appropriate.

Here, we are not calling for facing fear, but, we call the designer for learning some tricks to contain fear and to terminate it by encouraging hi to identify the objectives and find means to realize them, identifying his own potentialities, upgrading his talents and qualification by increasing his knowledge, experiences, practice and training to realize some kind of physical and psychological comfort. In addition to that, belief in ones abilities and self-encouragement is a kind of an intellectual and mental sport, and some of the main tools that would enable the designer to overcome his fears. Knowledge is an indispensable requisite and nourishment to the mind and soul with useful information in addition to the physical sport would all contribute to face fears, promote one's experiences and self-confidence.

Fears and creativity: Opposite Powers

Whenever there is fear, there will be stagnation, strangling one's abilities and willingness to stat far from moving forward, preventing any attempts to resurrect once again with richer production, and would lead to seclusion and

to a paralyzed life, empty of vigor and ambition.

And whenever you see creativity, you find pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, balance, stability, strong-will and above all, challenge.

Now, lets take a closer look to these expression, how did they change and develop, when we tackle fear and creativity. This is similar to asking two little children to draw a picture. One would reject the idea, maybe out of fearing that others might mock at him, while the other is bashful, chaotic, he would take the brush and colors and draws what jumps to his mind uncaring of what others think about his work. This is called challenge. One is challenging to overcome his fears, rejection, failure and as a way of change & innovation.

Creativity is a symbol of life changing. It is a motivation to overcome a feeling of threat of anything that is new, even if was produced out of change. It is a motivation to develop the ability, strengthen the willingness and call for innovation and transformation in both public and personal life. Leaders, businessmen and graphic designers would not become great, successful, and creative if they wouldn't become innovative and moving forward in firm steps towards adventure and prosperity.

How can you defeat your fears? It is by seeing things as they are in reality, trying to accept them, believing in them, and endeavoring to look at them with different perspectiveH try to handle them in a completely untraditional, way, especially when you embark on building a concept, implement it, and adapt with your surrounding because deep in your heard you know that unusual, untraditional things would make a creative designer of yourself. Hence, creativity is having a designer doing anything without fear, the fear from rejection or failure, and from losing control, and be open to everything that is exceptional and different.

Creativity is a deep belief in that every form of difference or change is a positive state more than a negative one. Because there is a stat of change.. Because there is an ability to see extraordinary things, to find a different and untraditional answer to every question, and the ability to create and to execute an idea, and tackle it in a very unique and unprecedented way.

That's why we say that fear and creativity are two opposite powers. One of them is confined on itself and vanishes, and the other grows and persist, bringing to the researcher dozens of questions which help him to reach to better results, with a very traditional thinking which thinks in the present and in the future in a different perspective, that is armed with the tendency to innovation, and admiration and interest in everything that is different and unique.

Graphic Design Students are the most fearful segments !

The only thing that we should fear is FEAR itself!

Fearful designers claim that time; concern, fatigue, evaluation and scores are the major barriers in their creativity. For, lack of time, abundance of homework and deadlines result in fatigue, concern, and agitation. In addition to lack of self-confidence, fear of failure, concern of evaluation results and teacher's opinion all contribute to increase their fear.

Let's put it like this:

Time + fatigue & stress + evaluation = FEAR

Now, how to solve this peoblem ?

How can we deal with it ?

What is the responsibilities of both the teacher and the student ?

Are they both parties to this issue ?

Are they really the reason behind this state of fear ?

In my opinion, I think that fear for both parties, should complement the process of creativity. Fear cannot protect, BUT it should be eased, and decreased so that I won't lead to unbearable state of confusion. Lack of sufficient tine should not become a source of agitation to the student. He must be convinced that many ideas may trigger in few seconds, and the remaining time should thus be devoted to executing these ideas and deliver them to the client. Until the delivery time, the student may have more than a ten thousands of opportunities to develop his idea and this is an infinite fact regardless of the nature the homework or work that is required from him/her because the student should have a great control, for postponement of work is his enemy. He should start doing his assignment as soon as he is assign to do it. In this way, he will be able to solve and explain all problems that may encounter him. By adopting this strategy, he will be able to arrange his physical and the mental efforts in a sequential manner that would not lead to any fatigue. It will also enable him/her to surpass all the surprises and unexpected inconveniences, by soundly organizing his time and consider each minute as a time of completion.

The first stem to breakdown the barrier of fear is the assistance that the teacher gives to the student, by overcoming the problem, discussing the ideas and establishing a mature and common dialogue in order not to reach the state of agitation which, in turn, would lead to fatigue, inability to create and idea and implement it.

Perhaps most teachers face such condition, and some cannot diagnose them or know how to treat them, and some others don't really know if they are existed at all, and thus, cannot treat them once they emerge.

The remedy is simple... enhance your self-confidence, be informative by gathering information and learn from others' experiences, try and try hard should become your motto in order to build a bridge between the idea and its application.

I believe that fear which is the student may encounter, compels the teacher to follow it up, and handles it efficiently. The teacher must realize that the factors of success depend largely on his way of handling this matter, by stimulating the elements of power and self-confidence inside each one of his students. But, this cannot be realized if the teacher lacks the knowledge and information about graphic design, from the technical point of view. The academic ability of the teacher, his magnitude of knowledge, and his efficient way of delivering this knowledge to his students without any confusion, would ultimately promotes the psychological stability of the student, and would stimulate his potentialities towards creativity and perfection. We have a deep belief in the fact that the creative teacher is a source of inspiration for his students, he can make them work without any stress or fatigue. If the students find that his teacher is creative and innovative, or if he feels that his teacher believes in him and in his potentialities, the student would exert all efforts necessary to overcome any problem and would search for innovative ideas. This can be realized by developing a mature dialogue and communication between the student and his teacher.

However, state of fear that the student undergoes is only a part of a state he shares with his teacher, regardless of the student's level when he was permitted into this specialization. I know many students whose performance is weak or below the required level, have made great efforts to prove themselves to be innovated and creative. This is reflected in the variation of their ideas and methods of implantation. The main reason is simply that they succeeded to regain their self-confidence and believe in themselves by acquiring knowledge through which they were able to overcome the state of fear, concern and confusion, which usually lead to stagnation and inactivity.

I had the honor to supervise the graduation projects of a 17 of my students, who all differ in their conceptual, informative and technical styles and levels. I closely explored their levels of thinking and stages of development through out the years of study in the faculty. I was a good reader for all their projects and papers. My plan was to implant the self-confidence first inside each one of them, then I try to make them understand that committing a mistake is not a crime, and idea may seem very primitive and immature at the start, but it will grow and develop step by step. I encouraged the collective dialogue when discussing their projects. I encouraged teamwork, to stay away from selfishness and fear from each others until I succeeded to make them realize the psychological comfort.

The result was quite obvious during the completion of the graduation works /projects. They all succeeded over themselves, even those with humble potentialities and performance. They amazed us, as teachers, because they succeeded to learn from each others, to exchange experiences through the team work. They used to adopt the same idea but differed in the techniques of implementing it. They did that with efficacy and a great deal of maturity. They all explored the labor market without fear or hesitation, armed with their deep knowledge, dubious work, self-confidence and the ability to work under pressure and stress. Thus, it was easy for them to occupy their natural positions in the market.

To make this experiences a successful one, I had to transmigrate seventeen of characters, which vary in thoughts, and this required a tremendous ability to initiate some kind of dialogue with each one of them to break the barrier of fear, develop and improve and direct their ideas in order to develop a strategy for the required job with all its associations and annexes. I had to work with then with quite a temper and logic to reach a result which if anybody else, different from them, tried his/her best to realize a kind of job that conforms with the concept and job of a graphic designer, will fail even if he was using same idea and same strategy.

When judgments were given when the experiment proved its success, students, especially those who do not believe in their personal potentiality, said "we were born brand-new!". They were good example to the students who followed them. I was able to make them realize and believe that fear cannot paralyze our thinking and creativity, and the human being can always overcome any barriers or hurdles to realize creativity and be innovative.

But how can break this fear?

To be creative and a logical his ways to build and implement an idea, the designer should break the barrier of fear. To realize this condition, we found that there are certain skills and principles that should be practiced and acquired first. Now, what does the graphic designer need ? He needs:

- Experience

Acquisition of experience is an integral and essential party of creativity. However, the graphic designer should be open to his environment and feelings, same as the athlete or the physician, both should rely upon their rich background which can provide them with new and guaranteed solutions.

A designer cannot gain the experience unless he learns. Learning helps the individual to retain information and increase his/her self-confidence. Absence of learning would only lead the designer to concern about any coming work, as a new experience or technique. Discontinued learning makes the designer feel that he is disgraceful, ineffective and unable compared to others.

Experience also requires some brave stands from breaching values and standards. But, to be able to handle this situation properly, the designer should have a deep and strong belief in himself, because he sometimes thinks that he has nothing to do with working on a certain theme that falls outside the circle or search theme to which the designer belongs. By adopting this stand, he will be able to abide by the mechanism of search, investigation and calculation in many issues that his position would require dealing with. He should not close his mind, consciousness and state of creativity in him, and should induce his personal experience, along with experiences of others, without any exaggeration, into a rational assessment.

The total submission to rationality may drive the designer to reject the correctional thinking, which entails a collapse in the meanings and thoughts, and ignore the sound utilization of intuition, as a source of exploration, and this will, at the end kills the state of creativity because of that fear.

- Self-awareness

Some graphic designers may deceive themselves by not reading their actions or the results of their actions, and more, they rejecting any recognition of others' contributions, because of their feelings of inability to compete, and reject both, in principle. Realism is a significant component of a successful designer. To know the meaning of "realism", he must first realize the components of himself, respect to others, no matter how simple their experiences are , try to avoid arrogance and self-deception, and endeavor to deal with others on the basis of mutual benefit. Self-awareness may also help the individual to speak himself, to express what is inside him, and by this he can kill his fears. Otherwise, he will be suffering from lack of communication with himself or with his work, uncertain of his potentialities, fears criticism and encounter with the audience.

If he reaches to this point, it will be difficult for him to come up with new ideas, a matter which will affect his thinking and which will yield immature or naïve ideas, in return, due to the lack of proper reactions, which are nourished by experience and knowledge. Thus, the designer must insist on his rights, try to acquire skills of correction continuously to determine the shape of a certain case or work, whether creative, innovative, distinctive, productive, subjective or objective, genuine or imitated. Correction helps the designer to continue or to end his state of productivity and creativity.

Self-awareness may also help the designer to have a deep belief in his work and performance, deepens his self-confidence, and increase his confidence in his work, a matter which will enhance his image before others, or vis avis.

What choices the graphic designer have?

Ca creativity generates from fear?

The designer is always advised to encounter the dragon lying inside him, before he is able to overcome his artistic fears and concerns. He should not think of what he should do depending on his ability or inability, but depending on the message or a piece of information he intends to convey to the audience, using the image and words which reflect his amount of knowledge and experiences.

In other words, the designer should put his thoughts directly on paper, close his eyes, use the pencil and start doing some primary shapes and lines.. then he examines them closely, examines his inner mind. Am sure he will find something there.. Something, that will lead him to the right path. This is but a simple example of a way any graphic designer may adopt to reach to his inner should and mind. It is a way to reach to a state of creative work. The designer should look at things closely and should have the courage to do that, and must try to judge in a very rational, realistic, and absolute manner.

But, how can we make choices ?

An individual choice based upon his belief in spirituality ?

The choice to live on earth, which the school that we learn from ?

In respect of the above, the graphic designer is facing two paths:

Either to face the end of the spectrum, or

Be neutral.

There factors help the designer to enhance his abilities to monitor, observe, follow-up, and get the knowledge before implementation, and enhance his courage which controls every choice he makes. All these contribute to help the designer take the right decision/choice after recognizing his state, concern or fears, because both are used frequently and mutually. But, still, they cannot be considered one case. Fear is associated with a certain objective, which the designer can contribute effectively and bravely to face various conflicting factors/forces as "ego", fear, or knowledge. It will help him to realize that he is not alone, God is with him, and by this, his spirituality will enhance and enable him to overcome his fears. Neutrality is difficult to be adopted, in fact, it is rejected, because facing rationality is a requisite that accepts no neutrality.

Concern realize no aims.. in concern, the graphic designer will have no results because there is nothing to focus on. The danger of concern lies in the fact that it will lead to absence of being, and to a state of unbearable exaggeration, lack of identity and desertion.

The successful designer is the one who can walk in the dark, confident of his steps.. His self-confidence and self awareness will lead him to the light at the end of the tunnel, and will guide him to step on the untrodden and forbidden ground, his feelings and emotions, knowledge in the law of nature, belief in work as a pleasure, suffering m learning, desire, another experience leading him to success. He must realize that what he thinks of is his creativity and what he leaves behind is an impression on others, and try to win their acceptance and appreciation to his work, and know how they describe it, as distinctive and extraordinary!

In brief, the designer has one choice only, that is : realization of creativity through concern and fear about :

Not being described as creative.

Non-acceptance of his work by the audience.

Not understanding the idea properly.

Not searching enough in the idea and method of implementation.

Not using the right technique, because he does not master it.

Fear should not become a barrier to mature designers, who are aware of the requirements of their work. Their experience, search and techniques are all considered supporting factors, which contribute to enhance their self-confidence, and their ability to overcome their fears and confusion.

The choices of the designer make are but an extension to an experience he had during his periods of study or at work, or maybe both. However, both need a certain mechanism, which should be, undertakes by the academic or the professional staff embracing the designer. This mechanism needs a specific strategy to break the fears of the designer during the training courses, upgrade his abilities, competency and culture to lead him to a higher level of self-dependency and ability to handle matters in his professional life, and to confront the new and surprising innovations.

Everyday Creativity

2007-12-28T07:26:00.000-08:00

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Do you tell yourself that you are not a creative person because you can't draw or play an instrument or write poetry? I often hear many of my clients bemoan, "I'm not creative!"

This isn't true! We all have the ability to be creative - it is a God-given gift - but you might not be noticing or enjoying your particular form of creativity. It's important that you become aware of which forms of creativity are fun and fulfilling for you, because expressing your creativity is a powerful way of feeling filled up and joyful within.

Creativity naturally pours out of my three-year old grandson, as it does out of all little children who are given the opportunity to express it. When I was spending time with him recently, he was playing with a children's microscope that has little slides with various bugs and other little creatures that he can slide in. He slid in a little shrimp and then starting running around the room saying, "Grandma, the shrimp is in the heater! Get it out!" Once I coaxed out the little shrimp, it now magically appeared under the table, or in the lamp, or back in the heater! He delighted in running around pretending this little shrimp was everywhere and engaging me in his magical game, laughing as he thought up new place for the shrimp to hide! I could see the pure joy he experiences in expressing his creativity.

How can you express your creativity in everyday ways?

Perhaps you really love scrapbooking or making photo albums, creating ways of enjoying memories. Do you enjoy setting a beautiful table, or creating a lovely flower arrangement from flowers that you grow? Do you love creating a wonderful garden? How about creating a bulletin board in your home or office for others to enjoy? Perhaps you just enjoy putting on music and allowing your body to dance around the room. Do you love being in your workshop, making things out of wood for yourself and others? One man I know decided to express his creativity by carving a totem pole, even though it was something he had never done and had no idea how to do it!

Maybe picking out fabrics and making clothing or blankets is fun for you, or knitting or crocheting for yourself, family and friends. Do you have fun making cards with stamps? Maybe you enjoy making collages with pictures from magazines.

You might be a person who expresses your creativity through your kindness or through your humor. Perhaps volunteering is a form of creativity for you. Perhaps you have learned to express your creativity in saying something kind to each person with whom you are in contact throughout a day.

The point is, all of us have many ways in which we can express our creativity, and expressing it is vital to our wellbeing. It is a wonderful form of play. If you spend all of your time just getting things done and do not allow time for your everyday creativity, you will not feel alive and content within. The old saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" applies to all of us. We feel dull inside when we don't allow time for play, for creativity, for kindness to ourselves and others.

Creative expression will occur naturally when you open your heart to yourself and others, allowing the gift of creativity to flow through you from the spiritual source that is always available to you. New ideas are always waiting to be expressed through you - you just need to open to them and allow the time for them. When you do, you will feel the joy and fulfillment that comes from everyday creativity!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Success Requires You to Take Your Weaknesses Seriously

2007-12-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

by Rosalind Henderson

Do you get depressed when you meet an obstacle, and toss in the towel? Are your goals unrealistic, making them impossible to reach? Or do you start projects, but don't finish them? These weaknesses oftentimes derail your goals.

Dr. Cloud, a noted Christian psychologist, explains on his CD, "Quarantine Your Weaknesses": "We are meant to be successful in life. In order to do that, our personal weaknesses need to be isolated from our strengths as we head towards our goals."

However, the most common reaction to our shortcomings is to try harder. Let's say, for instance, it's difficult for you to finish what you start. Oftentimes, we delude ourselves by saying," I know the boss complains about my late reports, but if I try harder this time, I know I can finish, and turn it in on time." But patterns always rear their ugly head, and block our most sincere desires. Once more our report is late, and we suffer the consequences.

Willpower alone will not solve shortcomings.

How many goals have been aborted because we failed to address the gravity of our weaknesses? How many dreams have been postponed due to our patterns of failure?

In Dr. Cloud's CD, "Quarantine Your Weakness", he suggest something quite contrary to most success programs out there.

Here are three tools you can use to protect your goals from your flaws:

1. Successful People Take Their Weaknesses Seriously

Request objectivity from friends, co-workers, and others. What pattern of behaviors do they observe which in turns effect your performance goals? Observe yourself. What habits do you think get in the way of your success? Keep digging and the answers will surface.

Count the cost. What have you lost due to these weaknesses? A promotion? Money? Have you sabotaged a relationship or friendship? There is a high price to pay when we let our faults control our lives.

Successful people identify their weaknesses and take them very seriously. You need to see just how certain patterns of behaviors undermine your efforts of reaching your goals.

A client of mine, Jackie, shared her "aha" moment. "Lately, I noticed when setbacks come, my first reaction is to feel helpless. For a while, it seems like there are no alternatives to solve the situation, and I hear a small voice in my head whisper,'This too overwhelming!' Now that I know this is my Achilles heel, what can I do?" The next step answers that question.

2. Have a Strategy in Place

Ingrained patterns of behavior die a very slow death. So expect self-limiting habits to pop up from time to time while you're paving the road to success. Have a strategy ready. There are many ways to "quarantine your weaknesses" as you work towards your goals.

For example, Jackie can join a weekly support group to help her view problems more objectivity, and help her brainstorm possible solutions. The group can also help her process her feelings. As she internalizes these experiences, Jackie will feel less helpless when obstacles come. Having a plan in place shows wisdom, as we work on our weaknesses.

3. Find a Mentor

I really believe in mentorship. Many of us need exposure to new ways of doing things to solve old issues. Moreover, we may need to be held accountable for doing the right things long enough for the desired outcome. A mentor can do that.

Sharon shared her example. "Theresa became my partner teacher two years ago. In order to be an effective teacher, there has to be some organization. Well, this was not my strong suit as a teacher, and it caused me a lot of frustration. Since Theresa taught in the morning I was able to observe her teaching style. It became immediately apparent she had an organizational gift.

For example, she had an effective classroom management plan. The students knew what was expected of them, and how Theresa would award desired behavior. Her students quickly learned the daily routine. They knew where to sit, what to do after an assignment, and how to communicate their needs without disrupting the class.

Her lessons were well planned. All materials she needed for her lessons was at hand. She didn't waste time fumbling for materials like I did while teaching.

Luckily, Theresa was very generous to me. She shared her filing systems, and critiqued my teaching when I asked her to. She was my partner for two years, and I intentionally devoured her organized teaching style. As a result I became a more effective and creative teacher because I learned how to develop my teaching system through her."

Be open to mentorship. It is an important way to learn new skills, attitudes and strategies for success.

We are designed to use our strengths in service to others. By putting limits on our weaknesses, we are maturely taking measures to protect our dreams and goals. As we continue to do this, our success is assured.

Give these tips an earnest try!

Rosalind Henderson is a speaker, author and Peak Performance expert. She is the director and founder of Life Keys Inc, a college student resource center dedicated to empowering college students to live life on purpose and with passion. She has presented over 500 presentations to businesses, churches and college students across America. To book Rosalind for an event and/or to view her products contact her through http://www.rosalindhenderson.com

Know How To Get Rich With Two Simple Words

2007-12-28T07:23:00.000-08:00

by Janet Brooks

You've heard about how important it is to have an attitude of gratitude. Well here's why the two words "thank you" just might lead to to that financial breakthrough that you have been looking for.

If you really want to know how to get rich, then you need to look at time tested methods that have worked for centuries. These principles have demonstrated results for Biblical figures like Jesus and Paul. They both practiced being thankful BEFORE they made their prayer requests. They took the attitude that their prayer was answered before they even asked.

Here's an example, Your rich uncle, a Construction Giant, promises to build you a new house when you get married. Now you have not walked down the isle yet, but you know that your uncle has never let you down and always keeps his promises. You are now full of excitement and anticipation of receiving that house. Your attitude says that it already is yours and you are so thankful for that new home. The thoughts in your mind hold steadfast images of you and your new spouse in that beautiful house.

The key is always getting your emotions to a state of what you actually "feel like" in that home.

Why? Because it is the same exact way you will "feel" when your uncle gives you the house. Get it?

If you know anything about the Bible you might recall that when Jesus fed the multitudes he first held up what little he had and "Thanked" God for enough food. He thanked Him before the loaves of breed and fish actually multiplied!

I first came across this technique several years ago. A friend shared it with me when my husband was laid off of work and we were pretty much in a panicked state as it was around Christmas time.

I gathered up every bill that I had and stacked them in a neat pile on my night stand. I told no one that I was doing this except my friend that had shared the technique with me. Sometimes people's negative attitudes about something different can work against you.

Right before I went to sleep at night I would hold up those bills say "I thank you father that these bills are paid in full".

" I thank you Lord that I have more than enough to pay my bills on time and in full". I imaged each bill, writing the check putting the stamp and mailing it. I let the feeling of relief well up inside of me as I thanked God that all my bills were paid in full. I stayed in that image and feeling for as long as possible each and every night and morning.

My father never lets me down so I just kept saying "Thank You Father for My Riches."

There really is something about saying those two little words "thank you". It seemed to remove the doubts and fears that would creep into my mind. It is because "Thank You" means that it has already been done.

To this day, I still marvel at the "thank you" principle. It got my husband and I through a really tough time, our children had a Christmas and only 1 out of 7 bills was paid 8 days late.

When I applied this wealth attracting principle, people mysteriously became more generous to us, my husbands unemployment checks came in record time, and one of our friends that borrowed money from us 6 years ago mailed us the amount he owed plus an extra $500 which he called interest.

And by the way, the check was enclosed in a you guessed it, "Thank You" Card!

Stop Living in Lack. If you want really know how to get rich there are very powerful tools that you can use to attract wealth to you like a magnet. Visit http://www.subliminalriches.blogspot.com to learn more about how to get rich fast now!

Your Success Is Near

2007-12-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

How are you feeling today? Are you feeling like you can accomplish anything you venture towards? Or are you self doubtful and do not believe that you can be do have anything you set your mind to?

You are in complete control of how you will feel throughout the day and if your success is near. Whatever is going on in the inside of you will become your experience; are you frustrated? Are you feeling great and successful? You can change how you feel on the inside and make yourself feel as if your success is near.

If you are striving towards your goals and have not achieved them yet all you have to do is make believe like you have already achieved whatever it is you desire. As you continue to tell yourself that you have already achieved your goals your subconscious will help it all become a reality.

Yes success is near a lot closer than you think. It is up to you to keep the feelings and emotions of already having whatever it is you desire and as you continue to learn how to do that on a daily basis you will watch how your life will unfold in front of your eyes the way you would like it to be. So next time you are feeling like you wish your success is not near; take a look at the feelings that are running through your head. Whatever you are feeling on the inside is becoming your reality on the outside. If you are in sales and you are not making any sales, it is probably that you you are doubtful about the product you represent and do not believe in it yourself.

If you are involved in a business and are not making it work; it is probably that you do not believe you can be successful in it yourself. Yes sometimes we start a business and fail at one or another; failure is a part of life and if you can overcome your failures and keep working towards whatever you desire then your success is near and you will overcome any obstacle that comes your way.

Unfortunately many people do not attempt anything different in their lives because they are afraid of failure. You must be willing to fail to achieve anything different in your life; if you continue doing what you are doing right now how can you expect any different results in your life?

Do not be like the 97% of people who will not attempt anything different in their lives for fear of failure. You must be willing to understand that success is near all you have to do is take the first step. Get involved with a mastermind group that will support you in your beliefs and you will meet others who believe that they can be do have anything they desire. Turn off your television and start reading anything positive and watching inspirational movies that will help you believe that success is near. They will also help you control your negative self talk; which does absolutely nothing but hinders you.

Get all your free tips on the importance to personal development and receive free techniques to utilize as meditation, visualization and lots of other wealth generating techniques. Plus sign up for the free Powerful Living Newsletter.

Sharpen Your Social Skills In Several Simple Steps

2007-12-27T13:58:00.000-08:00

Some people have them, some people don't. Well, in fact, allot of people don't. Hey, social skills aren't the easiest of skills to attain. But here is the good news: Even if you're middle-aged tax accountant (unfortunate stereotype) that hasn't had a night out on the town since 1987 - there is still hope... With the right advice and a little practice, anyone (even you) can become a raging socialite. I can meet you half way with this proposal. Here is my best advice to improve your social skills:

1) Open Up. Be yourself and don't feel embarrassed to show some emotion. If you're looking to connect or engage with other individuals you really have to show your true colors. Be prepared to offer you opinion, advice, share interests ad ideas. But remember, it's not all about you - keep a good balance going.

2) Smile. With a friendly, vibrant attitude towards any social situation combined with the aid of a healthy smile, you will find that other individuals will be interested to engage in conversation, and will warm towards you. No one is interested is meeting a depressed, negative, angry human being. Keep a smile on the dial - Even if you're having a bad day.

3) Engage. This is the most important skill. At the core of this concept is listening. You have to be prepared to listen. This shows that you are interested in what the other individual(s) have to say and that you value and respect what they have to say. Also engage with body language.

4) Relax. Try not to worry what others are thinking of you, take it slow and be calm. Don't think about what to say next, just go with the flow, and try not to focus on your words. You may be out of your comfort zone but you need to appear relaxed. Have confidence and say what you feel.

About me:

Lloyd R Richards Invites you to become a thriving socialite... Now is the time to learn how to master the art of social interaction and kill off your loneliness.

http://www.admirableyou.com/

See you around!

Healthy Self-Esteem Is Your Most Powerful Success Tool

2007-12-27T13:57:00.001-08:00

You can acquire years of education, accumulate unlimited wealth, win prestigious awards, and be blessed with the most loving relationships and still self-sabotage. Outside barometers of success and happiness won't satisfy you unless and until you like and approve of yourself.

You'll only achieve what your healthy or unhealthy self-esteem allows you to achieve.

Healthy self-esteem is the backbone of achievement. The health of your self-esteem determines the level of success. Unconsciously, you will succeed only to the highest (or lowest) expectations you set for yourself.

Hundreds of times each day, you're placing actions and thoughts under a powerful magnifying glass, choosing to magnify either the negative or the positive. Self-esteem monitors and judges all behavior.

The healthier the self-esteem, the more productive and positive the behaviors. Self-esteem is the over-all value you place on yourself as whole and complete person. It's an emotional score card calculating the pluses and minuses.

The healthier your self-esteem, the more pluses on that scorecard. Every plus on the scorecard increases your ability to make wise decisions. Pluses reinforce the self-confidence needed to take action from a position of empowerment and strength and not desperation or weakness.

When the negatives in life have more power over attitudes and choices, unhealthy self-esteem begins to dominate your life. You begin nurturing healthy self-esteem by consistently overcoming the negatives and taking positive action.

With healthy self-esteem, you experience success more often than failure. Success affirms confidence in yourself and abilities. The more confidence you have in your ability to think, learn and analyze wisely, the more self-confidence you'll have in yourself when faced with life's challenges.

Unhealthy self-esteem, once it takes hold in your unconscious mind, is like a downward spiral. At any time though, you can choose to stop the downward flow and direct it positively upward.

Here are some activities to help build your healthy self-esteem:

1.Begin enhancing self-esteem by writing down an entire page of your positive qualities. Fill the whole page with words, phrases and sentences. You'll spend less time focusing on the negatives when you're concentrating energy on your strengths.

2.Start acting the way you'd like to see yourself in the future. If you'd like to be more outgoing, start taking social risks. Go places where you'll meet new people. Once you begin acting more outgoing, you'll actually become more outgoing.

3.Take out a photo album and look at yourself. Are you smiling? Are your arms folded defensively across your chest? Is your posture slouched? Use the photographs to help see yourself as others see you.

Healthy self-esteem enables you to thrive in your life, not just survive!

Excerpt from Sharon's book: How To Give Yourself The POWER to Succeed

Sharon A. Michaels is an e-mentor to women who choose to work for themselves. Sharon has over 20 years of business, speaking and writing experience on issues of ending self-sabotage, living in abundance and wealth and making money in network marketing.

You can learn more about Sharon Michaels at http://SharonIsMyMentor.com

Sharon A. Michaels is also the Editor of the Abundance and Wealth site on BellaOnline.com To read more of Sharon's articles go to http://abundanceandwealth.bellaonline.com

How To Have More Self-Confidence - It's All In Your Mind

2007-12-27T13:53:00.000-08:00

We humans have always had a need for security. This mechanism has been built into us a long time ago when we were first hunter-gatherers and then later, when we learn to cultivate our land. From our early days, we have learned to survive by preserving meat or store grains in case our hunting expeditions are not good or our harvest fail. However this basic survival instinct does not always benefit us. We often cling on to our various safety nets, refusing to try out new ways of doing things. We become secure in our own comfort zones. Our credit cards, our big homes, our expensive cars, and a good stable job with many benefits - most people believe having these things will give them security. But these illusions may prove to be their undoing. A well paying job may become obsolete as the company outsources the tasks which you may specialize in. No one is indispensable. It pays to always be on a lookout for emerging trends and learn new skills.

There are also some people who go through life with the oppressive feeling that no matter what they do, they will still fail. People with such thinking have lost confidence in their own abilities and believe that they have no control over their future. Instead of taking hold of new possibilities, and accepting life with all its uncertainties, they adapt to life out of sheer convenience. It is the inner voices in them that tells them the rewards in trying are not worth it, it is best to just give up.

Those who choose security above all else are those that are afraid of making mistakes or making any form of decisions. They stay well in their comfort zones and won't take the risks. Successful people know that failures are not the end of anything but the beginning of something. For within every failure lie the seeds to success. Taking the necessary risk of a second attempt is what separates the leaders from followers. People who don't try hard enough will always allow small failures to discourage them permanently. How sad.

Leaders in any fields know that real peace of mind come from within. The only safety net that you can truly rely on is your own self-confidence. True leaders know that courage comes from building on their own strengths to venture unto unknown paths and work decisively and confidently towards their goals. If you want to avoid losing this inner security, you must above all, learn to control negative thoughts. It's true that bad luck seems to follow those who believe in their own bad luck.

To gain courage and energy, you should try to fix your goals clearly in you mind's eye. Your imagination is the most powerful God-given tool that you can use. You must form an image of what you wish to achieve, and imagine the positive situation you will be in when you have achieved success. For instance, let's say you want to get a job of your dreams and have secured an interview, you must imagine yourself as a strong, confident candidate. If your thoughts are filled with doubts, of your own previous failures, chances are, you will not be a confident person during the interview. Your lack of confidence will show in your body language and your speech. Seeing yourself as an ideal, indispensable candidate with enough experience for the job will move you forward in the direction of a successful candidate.

Or take another case, perhaps you're a weak student and every thought of taking any tests or examinations will make you break out in cold sweat. You can learn new study skills, take up simple memory training and learn easy to master memory techniques to improve your memory and help you remember many things like mathematical formulas, historical dates or important scientific facts. You will find that you memory can perform astounding feats of memory recall and this will give you the added confidence in yourself. A calmer student invariably performs better in tests or examinations, all things being equal. This will show up as better grades and every success builds on itself.

Maybe you're thinking of moving to a different part of the city. Imagine yourself in your new life, in your new home. Think about the colorful new neighborhood, and try to picture the nice people around you. You will find yourself looking forward to a new chapter in your life, a new beginning rich in promises. You have what it takes to make your own more fulfilling, it's all in you, in your mind.

Martin Mak has developed a new program to help you improve your memory and enhance your learning experience. Find out more with his popular and free ecourse - http://www.mightymemory.com

7 Reasons You SHOULD Work For Yourself

2007-12-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

1. You can choose what kind of work you do
While some people know exactly what they want to do and work towards achieving that - by studying to get qualifications, by tenaciously pursuing only work in that field, by networking with other people already in their chosen field of work - for many it's a question of what's available and what you can make a living doing. Market forces and what you're 'qualified' to do, often have more bearing than what you really want!

A J-O-B then becomes just a way of creating income so you can spend the remainder of your time doing the things you enjoy doing, and this applies whatever age you are.

2. You can do only the things you enjoy.
If you work for yourself, you can ensure you do only those things you enjoy doing. Let's say you have a hobby or interest that would translate into a business, wouldn't that be a great thing to do?

Perhaps you'd like to get into a particular field but don't meet the requirements as defined by prospective employers. (You may not have a degree but loads of experience instead. The employer requires a degree - albeit not necessarily with experience - so you don't get the job!) But if you work for yourself - you call the shots!

3. You can choose the people you work with
You spend such a large proportion of your time working, that being with people whose company you like is very important. Unfortunately, in a J-O-B you don't get to choose your colleagues, so you can end up spending all day with people you don't particularly like - even people who actually drive you mad!

If you have your own business you can choose who you work with and ensure they're people 'like you' - holding the same values, finding the same things important in life etc.

4. You can choose the hours you work
You won't have to ask for time off - if it's convenient - and you won't be limited to the amount of holidays set by an employer.

Even if you work longer hours than in a J-O-B, at least it will be you that benefits, not an employer! Later on when you're established, you should be able to pick and choose when you take time off, for a holiday or just for a day.

Generally, the working hours determined by an employer will be set within certain parameters (e.g. start at 9am and finish at 5.30pm) In your own business you can choose to work from 8am and finish at 3pm if you wish, work some mornings and evenings so you can take the whole afternoon off, work at weekends and take time off mid-week - the combinations are endless.

5. You can create residual income
That means you can earn money even when you're NOT working! In a job you work for a week or a month and at the end of that period, you get paid. If you don't work, you don't get paid (other than sickness benefits.)

In working for yourself, in the right kind of business, you can get paid for work you did six months ago, a year ago, even five years ago... Think about a singer or an author who is paid royalties. They do the job once (record a song or publish a book) then each time it's played or sold, they get paid. Every morning they wake up there's more money in their account and they didn't lift a finger for it.

If you run a business where the product or service is recurring, the same principal applies:

Let's say you sell a health product to a customer. By its nature it's likely to be something that isn't just taken for a month - the order will be repeated - probably on a monthly basis. If you provide services such as life-coaching or have a membership site, your fees will also come in month after month.

So, by recruiting a customer or client you've created residual income, since they will re-order regularly without you having to do anything else. And if you have a worldwide internet business you may also earn that money while you're sleeping!

6. You keep the profits you make - rather than it going to the company
If you're used to working hard, working long hours, maybe working overtime, while you're happy to receive overtime payments, you may not get paid for the 'over and above' work you do and the effort you put in. Either way, the company is certainly the winner since all the profits made through your efforts amount to far, far, more than the bonuses, overtime etc. they pay to you and other employees.

If you're going to work that hard, why not do it for yourself and reap all the benefits?

7. You can create your own freedom
While money is certainly an important factor in most peoples' lives, it isn't usually the money for its own sake but what the money can do that is most important.

Ask people what they want and they will probably say more time to spend with the family, pursuing leisure interests, purchase a nice home and car, and have great family holidays etc.

Working for yourself can provide these things. Okay, they won't probably come in the early stages since you will need to work to build up your business. But at least there WILL come a point when the business is set up and running sufficiently well that you can take time off to do the things you want to do. Freedom to do as you choose - that's what makes running your own business and being your own boss such a worthwhile deal.

Want to know what the alternative is? Read my article - '7 Reasons You Should NOT Get a J-O-B.'

Maddy Webster is the author of 'Everything You Need To Know About Living A Great Life But Don't Know Who To Ask' - Words of Wisdom To Young Adults.
http://www.theauthormaddywebster.com

She has worked most of her life in the caring professions - as a youth worker, with people with learning disabilities, with an International NGO, as a counselor, counseling trainer, personal development trainer and mentor. She is a writer, proof reader, copy editor, copy writer and ghost writer.

The Greatest Law Of Success

2007-12-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

I just read a book titled, "21 Laws of Success." It was a nice book, full of all the right stuff you should expect from a motivational book. But it lacked one thing! It did not contain the greatest law of success.

What is the greatest law of success? Do you know what it is? Are you obeying it? How have you fared with it? Probably you don't even know what it is.

Ok. I'll tell you. The greatest law of success is...wait! Hold on a second! Before I tell you what the greatest law of success is, let me ask you a few questions. Your answers to these questions will enable you better appreciate and convince you to start obeying this law immediately you learn what it is. Now the questions and your answers...

Are you thoroughly and completely satisfied with your current position in life?

Have you attained your dream?

Do you feel like a miserable failure right now?

Will you give anything just to change your life situation?

Alright, stop. No more questions. I'm not about to get you depressed. But now I want you to answer the questions as truthfully as you know it. What do you think?

If you are not satisfied with your life, you haven't yet achieved your lifelong dream or at least on your way to achieving it, and if you cider yourself a failure and you cant wait to see success in your life, there's a huge chance that you don't know what the greatest law of success is or if you do, you do not obey it.

So what is the greatest law of success?

The greatest law of success is this: LEARN AND APPLY.

No don't scoff and stop reading in disgust. I know it's so ordinary and so simple. Yet disregard for this one law is the reason why most people don't achieve meaningful throughout their lives.

Think about it for a moment. How many times have you learned something which held the promise to give you a certain set of results, yet you didn't apply it?

Most folks think that all they need to do is simply learn how to do something and then they'll get the desired result. This is the reason millions of copies of motivational and inspirational books, videos, and tapes get sold every year, yet the millions who read them remain failures. Have you noticed that if you go to 10 seminars this year, you invariably get to see about 80% of the same people attending them? This has made a lot of people to become a storehouse of knowledge but the irony is tat they do not make use of it. What a waste!

So what is the problem? The problem is they *learn*...but they fail to *apply*.

You cannot become a great chess player simply by reading a book on how to play chess. You cannot become a renowned stock analyst by only attending a seminar where you learn how to pick stocks and then go home and wait for the money to roll in without ding anything further. And of course, you cannot become classy tennis player by simply watching re-runs of the US Open on TV.

In each of these cases, you only become good by and then great at it by going out into the real world and putting into practice what you have learnt. You might even fail along the way, yet you must stand up and press on until you can do it flawlessly. That is when you can succeed at dong it each and every time.

Applying simply means doing, taking action. There is plenty evidence from people all over the world who have 'cracked' the success code that there is no other way around winning than doing. If you want to have success, if you truly desire to take control of your life, if you sincerely want to change your position from being little to becoming big, if you really want to start living your dream, then you must LEARN AND APPLY.

So start today, my friend. Learn and apply. That is the surest path to success.

Go. Success is yours.

© 2007 Ikenna Nzimora. Ike is not called the Success Rebel for nothing! Check out his work, 'Failure Buster! The One and Only but Often Ignored Success Technique That Works Every Single Time Without Fail'-GUARANTEED! Click and go to the website http://www.failurebuster.com

Pillars of Success - Embrace The Present

2007-12-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

As we progress through the journeys of our lives, careers and businesses, we often stop to reflect on where we are at a given point in time. Like mapping any trip, we have certain expectations of our progress along the way. Similarly, setting timelines for our goals make them more tangible and urgent. What happens, however, when we find ourselves at a place other than where we expected? A typical reaction is to explain, excuse or perhaps even criticize. The mere fact that we see ourselves as not being "as far along as we should be" passes negative judgment and sets the stage for the world of scarcity thinking. The situations where this kind of scarcity thinking can creep into our psyche are numerous. Here are some examples that may be familiar:

A person begins something that is new and uncertain and finds themselves in a group situation such as a class or educational program. Immediately, they start compare themselves to other and begin to think that "everyone else is so much more qualified or further along" and wonder how they will ever catch or keep up.
A corporate professional thinks their career is passing them by. They see themselves passed over time and time again for recognition, leadership opportunities or promotions. They wonder how it is that they are so stuck where they are and others are moving ahead of them
A new entrepreneur who is sure that they have done all the right things still hasn't achieved what they thought they would by this stage of their business. Like the professional, they see their peers moving effortlessly toward greater success. They may try new and different things, grasping at this idea or that but become more frustrated or despondent that they are still stuck.

In each of these examples and in others like them, the constraints of scarcity thinking become apparent. What is focused on with laser intensity is "WHAT IS NOT": what skills are deficient, what career progress or entrepreneurial success is not attained. The Present reinforces our sense of failure as seen through the lens of our own expectations or our assumptions about someone else's journey.

Step back for a moment and imagine that whatever your circumstances, whatever your present situation, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Where we are at any point in time is the cumulative effect of each of the decisions, actions, external events and our responses to them. Thus, while we may not be where we expected to be, we are where we are supposed to be. By embracing the present, we allow ourselves to discover the unique opportunities that are available to us right here and right now. Instead of beating ourselves up for not being somewhere else, we can identify the options that may have been overlooked otherwise. Perhaps instead of being "stuck", we are where we are because there is knowledge or information that we need to gather before taking our next steps. Finally, consider the possibility that we are where we are because we need the chance to step back, catch our breath and enjoy things that may have been pushed to the side in the pursuit of our goals. Our goals and objectives are like stops or progress points on a trip. We set a target for where we would like to be at a certain point on our journey. What would you do if you find yourself in Flagstaff at the end of your day's travels instead of Albuquerque? Do you "fire" yourself? Do you cancel your trip or give up and go home? Do you keep driving relentlessly to make Albuquerque before you stop? Probably not. Instead, you likely consider the circumstances that brought you as far as you are, reassess your journey and plans and then go out to discover the surprises of a place that don't know very well. The same approach works for our life and professional goals as well. It's your journey, and each stop along the way is an important part of the map that will guide you where you want to go. Enjoy where you are. You are supposed to be here.

Elaine Halliday is director of Six Sigma Living, a division of Kiwi Development Solutions, LLP whose primary focus is to help solo-professionals and micro-businesses build their success from the inside out by providing consulting, coaching and training that promotes business prosperity and abundance. Elaine is a CPA, CTA Certified Coach and Six Sigma Certified Green Belt. With over 20 years experience in a variety of roles including accounting , finance, sales, marketing, operations and management as well as navigating many successful transitions between corporate employment and solo-entrepreneurship, Elaine believes that with creativity, flexibility, purpose and a good sense of humor all things are possible. To find out how Six Sigma Living can help you build success from the inside out, please visit http://www.sixsigmaliving.com

How to Experience Great Happiness and Success in One's Life

2007-11-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

"Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy." - Brian Tracy. Experiencing happiness in life can come in many different forms. It can come in the form of spending precious moments with your loved ones, helping others, sharing and inspiring others, joyous moments in sports, overcoming the odds and achieving financial success. Most of the time, at the end, we felt a sense of accomplishment when we are really happy. It is a fantastic feeling.

Sometimes there were occasions when happy and great moments are taken for granted. One must understand that there are ups and downs in life are part of it. As much as we are saddened by tragic moments in life, we must rejoice the wonderful and fantastic moments in life. Let use the following story to learn about living and rejoicing happiness in life after tragic experiences.

Pete was leading a simple life. He has not faced major challenges and he was always glad and thought he was lucky that he did not need to go through difficult periods in life as some did. He was an active in sports. In his personal life, he was very complacent and thought that his life would be pretty much the same.

Then one day, while playing his favorite sport, football. Pete twisted and injured his knee badly. His injury aggravated and he went through the painful surgery and rehabilitation period. Initially, it was so difficult as he could barely walked normally. Pete could not believe that he is going through all this. He began to face challenges after challenges since then.

People doubt about his capabilities to perform in his sports and work due to his injury. In fact, Pete even doubted about himself too. His self esteem reached at all time low.Pete fate went for the worst stage when in midst of him recovering, he lost his loved ones due to critical illness. He was shattered and devastated.

It took Pete months before finally one day; he started to redefine his life again. He realized that life is short and he can use his learning experiences and impact others positively. Pete felt that his sharing especially with the new young generations would leave a significant impact in their lives. With great confidence, he pursued this path and seeks to inspire the young generations to understand that obstacles and challenges help them grow. He realized through the sharing with the young minds, great happiness and success will head in your directions. Pete appreciates and rejoices every single moments of it. His good and bad experiences had enabled him to develop himself in a happy and positive individual.

It is said that life can be define by yourself and you most probably become what you perceive yourself to be in future .If you are able to define your life clearly, great happiness and success would most likely heads and makes it way in your life.

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Md Rauf Yusope is an Internet Marketer in Personal Development and Home Business.

Are You Between A Rock And A Hard Place

2007-11-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

There was a group of women I worked with who wanted to make changes in their lives. When I asked them what changes specifically they wanted to make almost half of them found it hard to reply.

Now the thrust of the workshop was to show them how they can 'coach' themselves, how by asking different questions they can arrive at different and more useful answers. Clearly "don't know" and "not sure" don't count as more useful answers, because they don't provide useful targets to aim towards.

For various reasons these women were feeling demotivated and unfocused and so had fallen into a vicious cycle; because they were demotivated and unfocused they found it hard to identify what they wanted to achieve, and not knowing what they wanted to achieve caused them to feel increasingly demotivated and unfocused.

One woman, in particular, struggled all morning with the question: "What do you want to get out of the workshop today?" She lives with an abusive, binge drinking partner who pushes her to her limits and then turns on enough charm and affection to keep her hooked in. She has been stuck in the quicksand of her situation for years and years.

Each time she attempted a reply she would start by saying: "I don't want to keep going over the same ground again" and then tell her "story".

My goal was to help these women to work productively with their own baggage. So I repeatedly and respectfully pointed out that I acknowledged her pain and her courage, and her staying power. For all that, telling and retelling her 'story' clearly wasn't that effective as a strategy. After all she knew every detail of it and things never became any better as a result of the telling. It had happened, it had been heartbreaking and, in reality, she was not her story. She is far more than her 'story'.

She can never go back and change her story, so for as long as she keeps waiting for that past to change before she can be happier and more focused, her wait will be in vain. It is never going to happen. What she could do is change her perspective. I suggested to her that she could choose to 'reframe' her circumstances, by saying: "Because I have been through these difficulties and traumas in my life, I now choose to have..." whatever perspective would be most productive for her right now.

Needless to say, she gave me one of those "Yeah, right! Easy for you to say" looks. She also asked whether what I suggest actually works. I said that it did, both for me and for the many hundreds of other women I have worked with. (I could almost see the bubble above her head bearing the words: "Yes, but it's different for me.") I asked her whether what she was doing actually worked to bring about a positive outcome. You can probably guess her answer.

Delightful people-pleaser that she is, she remained semi-engaged with the workshop to humour me as much as anything. Quite possibly, for her right then, knowing once and for all that her problems were beyond hope and resolution would have felt like a result.

Somehow the question of what she wanted for herself came up again, and again she replied with the negative statement that what she didn't want was to keep going over the same old ground. Was there, she asked, a problem in stating what she didn't want?

In fact there was.

The unconscious mind doesn't hear negatives. So each time she said: "I don't want to keep going over the same ground", what her unconscious mind heard was: "I want to keep going over the same ground". I said to her that the unconscious mind is not a dumping ground where you offload garbage. Instead, it is a somewhat literal genie totally committed to giving you exactly what it hears you ask for. For her this was a revelation, first shocking and then oddly empowering.

You see, she quickly grasped the idea that, in reality, what she was getting was exactly what she had asked for, albeit unwittingly. Tell your unconscious mind: "I want to keep going over the same ground" and it will make sure that you are fully provided with as much 'more of the same' as you could ever want.

Suddenly this woman realized that, simply because of what she hadn't known until then, she had perpetuated the very situation that she least wanted. Suddenly she understood why it is so crucial to focus on formulating feelings and desires in a positive way. She still couldn't see how to take her life forward, but she could see how to start moving herself forward - which is always the first step on the road to massive change.

What about you? Do you want to move forward and now realize that the statement of what you don't want might be a significant part of what's holding you back?

Maybe you think that this is 'just words' and that I am talking nonsense. I can live with that. But are you prepared to experiment? Of course you are free to dismiss the whole idea, carry on thinking what you have always thought, prove yourself right, and continue getting the same wearying sense of going round and round the same loop.

Or you can test whether this new idea is useful to you, by eliminating the negative statements about the things you don't want. Instead, you can start crafting positive statements about the things that you would prefer to welcome into your life.

Are you ready to start moving forward over new ground? How will you take that first step?

Annie Kaszina Ph D, is a coach and writer who has helped hundreds of people to rebuild their confidence and their self-worth. Annie is the author of "The Woman You Want To Be" and "But If I Say "No" They Won't Like Me"

To find out more got to http://www.anniekaszina.com You can email Annie at:
annie@anniekaszina.com

On Failure and Learning from Mistakes

2007-11-19T09:54:00.000-08:00

While walking in the mall, you saw a toddler struggling to walk properly. In your mind you thought, "Isn't she so cute... oh, come on. Walk steadily... Yes, that's right." You were anxiously waiting to see her make that few more baby steps.

The next few seconds, she fell and landed on her backside. She leaned forward with her hands on the ground, pushing her body upward to a balance position before she could stand properly again. That's the spirit of the toddler - never give up. You go, "Well done baby girl!"

How often in the adult world when we failed in achieving something, or simply made mistakes, we lost that spirit which once infected us when we were young?

Most people are afraid to fail. They worry constantly about not meeting expectations, making a mistake, or trying something new. Because of this, many never get started on the path toward reaching their goals.. and thus assure themselves of the very thing they are afraid of.. failure. In order to become a successful entrepreneur you will likely have to 'pay your dues.' You'll likely have to fail a few times, learn from your lessons, and only then be able to come through a winner. While you don't have to take wild chances, you do have to take calculated and educated risks.

In the world of academics, mistakes are perceived as bad and to be avoided. For the first twenty-two years of your life, you are taught that mistakes are bad and embarrassing.. when in fact mistakes are simply opportunities to learn something new. The more mistakes a person makes, the more they will have learned and the greater chance they will have of succeeding on their next try. The key, however, is to learn from your mistakes and never make the same mistake twice.

Thomas Edison would have never invented the light bulb if he did not take this principle to heart. Edison failed more than 10,000 times before he found the filament that would create light for a sustained period of time. He did not view these as failures, however. On the 6,635th try to find a proper filament for the light bulb, Edison did not see himself has having failed 6634 times. He reframed the situation so that to him he had successfully eliminated 6,643 possibilities, refining and narrowing his search as he proceeded, drawing him closer and closer to his goal.

Two other failures you may have heard of are Levi Strauss and Christopher Columbus. Strauss headed for the gold mines of California in hopes of gold and glory. But he found none. Instead, this failure gave him new knowledge of a gap in the marketplace. He began selling pants out of canvas for the miners that were succeeding. Today, we've all heard of Levi Strauss jeans. Columbus failed miserably on his goal to find a route to India . However, in failing he ran into a new opportunity.. that of the new world. By taking action and learning from your mistakes and failures, you'll gain new knowledge and become aware of many new opportunities. When you come to the edge of what you know, it's time to make some mistakes.

If you have reached the edge of your career after a number of years and feeling enormously tired, it's time that you make some mistakes. Try making some daring approaches to your work. If the only solution is for you to seek for another new job, do it. If being entreprising is what you desire, go for it. To put yourself in a dilemma situation will not help you move on. If you keep doing the same thing, you will get the same result. Anthony Robbins said that insanity is when you keep doing the same thing and hoping for a different result. An instant mistake that will reap new learning experience is certainly much better than years of clinging on to the same old mistake and doing nothing at all.

Aaron Loh
Founder and Director of Wealth Learning International
http://www.aaronloh.com

Aaron Loh is an avid learner and is always in the pursuit for success in what he's passionately involved in - helping others to constantly learn and upgrade themselves. He faced many setbacks and challenges in this journey. With his strong commitment and determination, plus God's blessing, he successfully changed the lives of thousands and thousands of people.

Think Different

2007-11-16T11:10:00.001-08:00

Have you noticed how easy it can sometimes to be miss the obvious? What you're looking for might be right in front of your nose, but you simply fail to see it. Then when you do finally see it you have a major "duh" moment and you wonder: "Why didn't I see that before?"

As human beings we struggle with certain thought patterns and behavior patterns that we learned from our parents or other people that we look up to. Since these thought patterns are so infused into our minds, we never stop to think that there may be another way to see a particular situation or to accomplish a particular goal.

Several years ago, Apple Computer had a simply brilliant two-word slogan: "Think Different"

It seems that it's about time for many of us to begin to "think different" about health, fitness, diet, and time management. Most people live their lives with all sorts of goals that they never attain (such as weightloss). In many cases we are simply in need of some basic mental reprogramming.

Albert Einstein (a man well known for thinking different) said: "The world we've created is a result of the level of thinking we've done thus far and it produces problems, the solution to which does not exist at the same level of thinking."

We need a new level of thinking. We need to think different.

Let me give you a couple of simple examples of how "thinking different" about some normal day to day activities can have a dramatic effect on your health and waistline.

We have been conditioned to THINK that the more convenient something is the better it is. As a result, when you or I take a trip to the mall, Stuff-Mart, or the local grocery store, we generally spend extra time struggling to find the parking spot that is as close to the front door as possible. After all, that's the "best spot." Parking there will get us from the car to the store the fastest (or so we think) and with the least possible amount of walking. But is that really better?

I'm always amazed when I think about how silly we humans really are. We spend the entire day doing all we can to avoid walking or any other unnecessary physical activity. Then we pay $50 each month to join a gym so that they can walk on a treadmill. Doesn't that seem a bit odd?

We all know that walking is beneficial. We know it will burn fat. Everyone knows it's good for the heart. We know that it increases our respiration, clears the mind and eases stress. Yet, when it comes time to park the car we forget all about these things because we've been taught that the best place to park is the spot closest to the front door so that we don't "have to walk."

So we struggle and strain to get that perfect parking spot and in the process we waste away precious minutes that we will never get back again. We could have simply parked at the far end of the lot (where no one else parks), walked to the front door and gotten started on our shopping before those who are fighting for the best spot have even gotten out of their cars. But our paradigm of parking (and walking) doesn't allow us to see it that way. We want the "best" spot and we don't want to "have to walk."

Guys and girls, here's the bottom-line. It's not about "having to walk." It's about GETTING TO WALK.

We need a new perspective. We need to begin to think different.

The world around us is truly is a gym. Think about that next time you pull into the Stuff-Mart parking lot or the next time you have the opportunity to choose between riding an elevator or taking the stairs. People pay good money to walk on stairs that take them nowhere, when we could be walking real stairs for free.

James Flanders is a health nut with a passion for helping others get fit physically and spiritually. His DVD "Make The World Your Gym" and CD "Eat, Drink, Move, Breathe" are available at his fitness site: http://www.weightlessfitness.com/

How to Enjoy Your Work

2007-11-16T11:07:00.002-08:00

Do you find yourself resisting going to your job? Are you counting the days until the end of your work week? You are not alone. Monday morning blues is a common condition. However, you can change all that now. Find out now how you too can transform your job into a wonderful service.

Jonathan, a 24-year-old waiter, came into my office because he was feeling depressed about his job. To help him feel better, I guided him through a HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation) process. I asked the young man to close his eyes and to say,"I don't like my job because __" and finish the sentence. Jonathan replied, "I don't like my job because I am not making a difference in the world. I am just doing it to make enough money to pay my bills. I feel I am just existing and wasting my time."

I shared with Jonathan that no matter what we do, when we come from caring, we are making a contribution to others. That is the distinction between work and service. The latter comes from caring and that does make a difference.

I explained that when I go to a restaurant and the server demonstrates caring by smiling, being friendly, and obviously wanting to make sure I have a good dining experience, I feel great. On the contrary, even when the food is good, if the service is not, I do not feel satisfied.

Therefore, Jonathan, when you shift your perception of your job from work to service, you will feel a lot better. "Wow, Helene!" he said. "I never thought about it that way. I do like people and I love to help them feel happier. I never realized that I have been making a difference. Thank you so much. I feel great!"

Can you relate to Jonathan's feelings? It really is just a matter of shifting your consciousness and not necessarily your job.

In another example, Kate, a forty-two-year-old bookkeeper in a large corporation, complained to me that the people she worked with were too serious and negative. "I hate to go to the office, Helene, because the people are no fun and they bring me down." I suggested to Kate that she be her fun, loving self with all her co-workers. Also that she express caring by looking for something to acknowledge, appreciate, or compliment them about.

Kate began to realize that if she allowed herself to be more fun and positive, she could help others do the same. She also opened up to the idea that what she was doing at her job was a service to the company, her fellow employees, and herself. More optimistic, Kate was looking forward to the next day at the office.

The following week the bookkeeper returned for her counseling session looking much happier. "It worked, Helene," Kate exclaimed. "What a difference! Instead of following the behavior of others, I just focused on being my positive, caring self, and I am having more fun. It also feels great to say I am going to do my service, instead of going to work."

No matter what you are doing to earn a living, you too can feel good about your service. Say the word, "work" and then, "service" and see if they feel any different. Does service feel better to you? Remember that whenever you come from caring, you are making a difference because you are in service.

Finally, to enjoy your occupation it is helpful to daily express your gratitude for having the opportunity to earn a living and to serve others.

Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! Create Love, Joy and Abundance~NOW." For her free newsletter, MP3 audio, and ebook, go to: http://www.helenerothschild.com. Note the fantastic limited time special offer: http://www.helenerothschild.com/specialoffer.html

The Most Important Ingredient In The Recipe For Success In Business

2007-11-16T11:07:00.001-08:00

Let's start out this article with one of the most important ingredients in the recipe for success in business. This ingredient is also critical for success in all of the other areas of our lives ie; spiritual, social, physical etc., but for this particular topic we will be focusing on business...yes our professional life.

It seams as though the phrase "positive thinking" has been around forever. How many times have heard someone say, just think positive? However, before we can put the powers of positive thinking to work in our professional life, we first need to understand what the phrase "positive thinking" really means, and how to put it to work in business.

Positive thinking can also be described as a type of attitude. You and I have met people who are happy, optimistic, vivacious etc., right? These people are usually described as having positive attitudes and expressing positive thoughts. In other words, people who are consistently "looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty" are utilizing positive thinking.

So, now we know how to describe positive thinking, but what is it? One explanation would be that positive thinking is the act of reviewing our thought processes and personal actions for areas that need improvement and for areas with negative implications, and then utilizing the appropriate tools in order to change those thoughts or actions in a positive, goal-oriented way.

How does positive thinking work? One way to put it is that positive thinking begins with a conscious desire to pay attention to and recognize the positive trait in any situation. Once the positive trait, of a thought or situation can be recognized, then the process of positive thinking can be utilized. Essentially, the ability to pinpoint and utilize the positive in our thoughts and actions, enables us to better reach our goals and objectives, and make a positive impact on all of our endeavors.

The actual process of positive thinking works to bring about desired outcomes in our professional lives in a variety of different ways. By thinking and acting in a positive way, we naturally draw positive people to ourselves. By believing in positive outcomes we more readily accept them as fact and open ourselves to their reality. By thinking positive thoughts we are better able to see alternate, more advantageous routes to take, in order to attain our desired outcome. By accepting a positive way of thinking we are not only better able to see the path to success, but also better able to use our know-how to get there.

Positive thinking is a skill that can be acquired by anyone, with consistent practice. This simple process of positive thinking involves consciously searching for the positive trait in any situation, recognizing the benefits of that positive trait and then employing a can-do attitude to follow through with that positive trait to the desired outcome.

In summary, positive thinking is the foundation for success, not only in our professional life, but also in every other area of our life. Visit one of my favorites www.GlobalOnlineEnterprises.com

Bradley Allen Hensley,
Real Estate Consultant, Investor, Author, Netprenuer

Six Ways To Be Dumber

2007-11-15T09:38:00.000-08:00

Why do we need ways to be dumber? We don't of course, but there are two basic ways to improve oneself. The first is to actively engage in new thoughts and behaviors that are better, and the other is to avoid those patterns of though and behavior that make matters worse. This is based on the latter approach.

Here are some of the things people do that hurt their brains or get in the way of effective thinking. In other words, the things that make them dumber. If you see some of your own habits on the list, you can start getting rid of your bad habits.

1. Explaining too much. Sometimes, as soon as you have an explanation for something you stop thinking about it. For example, we explain human aggression as a "survival instinct," and leave it at that. But that leaves a lot of interesting questions unanswered doesn't it? (Like why do some have more of this than others?) Saying "I don't know," may feel like an uncomfortable admission of ignorance, but it often leads to more understanding, certainly more so than having a ready explanation for everything.

2. Too much alcohol. It has been shown in many studies now that moderate alcohol consumption is healthy, and even good for some aspects of brain function. "Moderate" means a drink or two each day at most, though. More than two and the evidence points to damage to brain cells.

3. Too many simple carbohydrates. The long term consequences of eating too much sugar, white flour and other simple carbohydrates include the risk of diabetes and obesity, and possibly a decrease in brain function. The latter hasn't yet been proven, but the short term effect is the well-known "sugar blues" which causes brain fog. Eat a big piece of sugary pie on an empty stomach and you will probably feel yourself getting dumber over the following half-hour.

4. Blaming circumstances. Even if a person or circumstance really causes a problem for you, focusing on blaming or excuse-making short-circuits your problem-solving thinking. If you are busy blaming, you aren't usually looking for a better approach to a situation. Also, once you make an excuse or blame someone, your mind unconsciously starts to look for evidence to support your belief, instead of thinking of a solution.

5. Too many hydrogenated fats. Hydrogenated oils, found in most packages foods now, cause heart disease and general clogging of the arteries - including those that feed the brain. Less blood flow means less ability for the brain to think clearly and to repair cells. Better alternatives are olive oil and canola oil.

6. Mental laziness. Yes, the brain really does need exercise, just like the rest of our bodies. The functioning of the various specific parts improves with practice (practice solving problems and you'll get better at it), but there are physical changes as well. Mental exercises have been shown to grow new brain cells and thicken some parts of the brain. Mental laziness, on the other hand, makes you dumber.

There are more ways than these to be dumber, but avoiding the ones listed here is a good way to start increasing that brainpower.

Copyright Steve Gillman. For more on How To Increase Brainpower, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit: http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com

Beliefs - The Key to Potential Power

2007-11-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

When we believe that something is possible, we will summon all the resources within and around us have to support that belief. We will open the tap to our creativity, energy and resources.

Does this mean that we will produce the exact result we envisioned? Not all the time. Still, having a belief of possibility will allow us to produce results far beyond what we can achieve than compared to having no belief to begin with.

Our beliefs not only affect our performance and results, they also affect the people we interact with as well. As a teacher, parent or boss, the beliefs you have about your students, children and employees will affect how you treat them, how they respond, ultimately resulting in their performance.

Have you ever heard of the Pygmalion effect? This psychological phenomenon was first presented by Robert Merton, a professor of sociology at Columbia University in 1957. It is about how our expectations of other people can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The study involved a teacher who was instructed to teach a new class of gifted students for the school year. In truth, these students had been tested and found to be of low I.Q. Moreover, they had behavioral problems.

Sure enough, when she started teaching, the students started misbehaving not caring to learn or respond. Because she believed they were students with high IQ, she figured that she was the cause of the problem, not the students!

She started to take responsibility for their misbehavior and disinterest in learning. She reflected that it could be due to her teaching style being too boring not stimulating enough to capture the attention of these gifted, demanding children.

Experimenting and changing the way she taught, she started to encourage them, arouse their curiosity, challenging them with games and activities, nurturing them along the whole process. The more she treated them like gifted students, the more the students responded.

At the end of the school year, the academic grades of the students jumped tremendously. And when retested, their IQs measured a 20-30 point increase on average.

She literally created gifted students! (Think of how supposedly slow learners languishing and underperforming because of uninspiring teachers?)

In his work called 'Social Theory and Social Structure', Merton said the phenomenon occurs when "a false definition of the situation evokes a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true."

In other words, once an expectation is set, even if it isn't accurate, we tend to act in ways consistent with that expectation. Often and surprisingly, the result is that the expectation, as if by magic, comes true.

At the same time, if we believe that a particular goal or desire is beyond our reach we shut out all possibility of ever achieving it. Choose empowering beliefs, beliefs that will drive us forward calling forth the inexhaustible resources we all possess, turning on the tap of our potential power.

Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and a self-made millionaire by the age of 26. Discover his supercharged success secrets and claim your FREE bonus report 'Supercharge Your Success!' at Success With NLP.

Motivation - 5 Roadblocks Of Success And How To Overcome Them

2007-11-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

Are you guilty of listening to that voice that crops up when you step outside your comfort zone? The one that says something like - "I'm not worthy. Who am I to think I can do something like this?"

Now, let's get this straight - if you want to be a heart surgeon and you don't want to go to medical school, you just want to jump in and start fixing hearts - then you're not worthy and you should get some training. Unless your vocation requires specialized training such as that - you're just sabotaging yourself with that negative talk. As a matter of fact, that voice is the first roadblock that needs to be busted so that you can follow your journey to success. Here it is again?

Roadblock to success #1 - I'm not good enough. This is one of the number one negative self talks of all time.

Roadblock Buster - Notice when you say this to yourself and notice how you're feeling. Say to yourself - I am worthy and I've got life experience to prove it. Repeat as often as necessary. What you're doing is replacing that negative self-talk with positive self-talk. It's your choice which opinion you choose to listen to. Remember that. No one is forcing you to listen to and believe the negative self-talk - except you - so tell yourself - enough is enough. This negativity buster is so important it merits a short story:

A Grandfather from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his grandson.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."

"One wold is evil and ugly: he is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, selfishness and arrogance."

"The other wolf is beautiful and good: he is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, fairness, empathy, gratitude and deep vision."

"This same fight is going on inside you, he said to his grandson, and inside every other human as well."

The grandson paused in deep reflection because of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cired out, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The elder Cherokee paused, then replied, "The wolf that you feed."

Roadblock to success #2 - I just don't have enough time.

Roadblock Buster - Make time. Wake up an hour earlier, keep a record for one week of how you spend your time - if you're watching 5 or more tv shows a week - cut them out. You'll be amazed at how much time you really do have. As the great Earl Nightingale said - "All you need to do is to devote one hour every day to the study of something and you can master it in one to two years."

Roadblock #3 - When the kids are older, then I'll start chasing my dream.

Roadblock Buster - Your kids will appreciate having a successful parent as a role model. Structure what you want to do so that it doesn't eat into family time. So many brick and mortar businesses are just as easily conducted over the internet, that would give you the flexibility you would need to start now. Find businesses like the one that you want to start and look for internet based models, so that you can at least begin the process.

Roadblock #4 - I'm too young or too old.

Roadblock Buster - Nonsense - You're just the right age, so get going. Mary Kay Ash started Mary Kay Cosmetics at the ripe young age of 54, and Ashley Qualls is still in her teens and a millionaire with her website www.whateverlife.com.

Roadblock #5 - I just need a bit more education.

Roadblock Buster - Maybe so. Find someone that has done or preferably is doing what you want to do, learn from their books or coaching. But, while you're learning keep taking action to keep moving towards your goals. There is a tendency to put your dreams on hold while your learning, don't do that.

So, when that negative self talk creeps in just stop, take a second and then tell yourself to stop feeding the wrong wolf.

For more tips like this I invite you to read my other articles about motivation. I am Lee Ann Price and am using the power of the words what if to create a movement for self-improvement worldwide.

What if you could bust through those limiting beliefs? Imagine who could benefit from your products or services? What if you could live the life of your dreams? If you're not - then why aren't you? I'm dedicated to helping you learn how. My website will be up by Thanksgiving, until then, I'll be giving you some more tips through articles - so stay tuned.

Everlasting Motivation

2007-11-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you've been there. You have a goal in mind that you are excited about reaching. Maybe you finally decided to lose weight or you are inching towards the place you want to be in your career. But as the time goes, so does your motivation and drive. We all need motivation in order to complete our goals and insure our success. Motivation is the fuel that lights that fire in the heart and enables us to propel past obstacles and seize our goals. But in order for that to happen you must sustain your motivation. Here are three ways to have everlasting motivation.

Set Viable Goals

One reason most people do not reach their goals is because they put themselves in a position to fail. Think about planting a sunflower seed in a spot in your backyard where the sunlight does not shine. No matter how much water or fertilizer you give to seed it will not grow because it was never put in a position to grow. If your goal is to lose weight or to make more money then you should put yourself in a position that makes that possible. Your goals should also have a solid foundation. The slab that your goal sits on should be deep rooted and unmovable. For example, let's say you want to have a better body. Your goal should never be to lose weight for the summer or an upcoming special occasion. Because you may develop a better body, but what happens when the summer is over or the occasion has passed? In order to stay motivated you must give your goals a fighting chance. Review what you want to accomplish and make sure that you've made success possible.

Finish Line Vision

In order to maintain your motivation and to complete your goal, you must look past your obstacles and see your success. I always use to wonder how martial artist could break wood boards and concrete bricks with their bare hands. Just the thought of punching a cinder block makes my hand hurt. But there is a unique tactic that is applied that you can use to stay motivated. Before one of these experts drives their fist into a solid object, they visualize an imaginary target that is past that object. In other words instead of focusing on the board and what your hand is going to smash, look past the board to where you hand is going to be. The mind will be so focused on the target that it will continue through any obstacle until it reaches that target. If you see your goal and have the finish line as your focus, you will naturally progress in that direction.

Reset the Bar

You must challenge yourself in different ways in order to keep the fire going. Believe it or not one of the biggest motivation killers is progress. Sometimes when we have a goal, and we see immediate progress, we have one of two reactions. We either get so excited by the progress that it makes us want to accomplish more, or we become so content with our improvement that it causes us to slow down. Setting little goals along the way may give you a boost and raising the bar will keep you climbing. New challenges bring new motivation and new motivation breeds new success. Have confidence in your ability to surpass your own achievements.

The greatest athletes, musicians, and leaders realize that they are their own competition. In order to gain success they must find that fire that burns inside and harness it to propel them to their goal. Once you learn how to light your fire and keep it lit, you will graduate from acceptable to excellence.

Ralph Jean-Paul is a writer, speaker and the founder of Potential2Success.com. He is a champion speaker mentored many to success. His desire to motivate people to become their best has lead him create a website with categories such as business, money, family, health, and relationships. The website's sole purpose is to offer information, quotes, stories, and interviews so that all visitors will leave the site ready to harness their potential and turn it into success.

Please visit us at http://www.Potential2Success.com or you may email Ralph directly at email@potential2success.com

Living Life to the Fullest - A Remedy for an Empty Life

2007-11-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

What do you think are the essential elements for a full life? Is it in the number of great relationships you enjoy and the extensive things you possess? Could it be summed up as enjoying good health, ample wealth and loving relationships? Maybe, but in an experiment for people to examine their outlook on life, subjects observe a glass containing water at the halfway level. They must determine if the glass is half-full or half-empty. Depending upon each participant's perspective, the same glass can be seen as both half-full and half-empty. (Which answer do you think is actually correct?)

If the water is accurately placed at the half way level, both answers are correct. From a purely scientific and factual frame of reference, only the number of ounces held versus what the glass can hold is important. The actual measurements can support either viewpoint. So then, how are you living? Is your life half-full or half-empty? If we think someone's life is empty, we mean it is hollow with nothing to bring joy, satisfaction or contentment. Is that you?

Too many people feel that life is empty and meaningless. They are disillusioned and sad due to unfortunate mishaps that happened in the past, dryness in present situations or fear of an uncertain future. Some who have experienced a major loss are so bereft that they in turn loose their identities. The way that they have seen themselves is in direct correlation with what they have achieved or obtained.

When this type of emptiness overwhelms me, I ask GOD for help! Living life to the fullest requires effort and energy on our part. A full life is not something that we merely fall into or stumble upon. Rather, it involves intentionality and quality decisions on my part. By examining the Biblical analogy of the ten virgins, I am able to draw inspiration. JESUS teaches that the kingdom of heaven is like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. We discover that half of them were wise and half of them were foolish. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take extra oil with them. The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight when the cry rang out heralding the bridegroom's appearance, the virgins awaken and prepared their lamps.

Guess what! The foolish virgin's lamps were flickering and had almost gone out. They asked the wise virgins for some of their oil so that they could go to meet the bridegroom. The wise virgins would not share in this instance because had they done so there would not be enough for them all. They advised the foolish virgins to go buy some oil for themselves. The foolish virgins were unprepared to meet the bridegroom and missed the opportunity to go with HIM to the wedding banquet. The door was firmly and permanently shut to them. (Paraphrasing from Matthew 25:1-13, KJV)

What does this analogy have to do with an empty life today, you may ask. JESUS is the bridegroom and the church (the body of believers), is HIS beloved bride. This analogy lets us know that our lives like the lamps must remain full. Rather than an empty existence, you and I can have a full, overflowing life! It starts with accepting CHRIST and receiving the gift of the HOLY SPIRIT, which was representative of the oil in the lamps.

The HOLY SPIRIT fills the life with power and brings nine fruitful attributes. Instead of situations depleting us, the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control will add to us. JESUS declared, "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." (John 10:10 AMP)

Our positive outlook will create a lifestyle jam packed with the stuff that attracts a fulfilling existence. Do not waste your time by rehashing bad times in the past. Those days are gone and cannot be recaptured. If you do not like how things are in your present circumstances, change them. In addition, never let fear paralyze your forward movement to a promising future. Adjust your outlook, focus on pleasant things, and start today by fully enjoying the life you are creating for yourself!

http://Dianawilliams.org

Discover How Your Tragic Events Can Open The Door For Your Future Success

2007-11-14T12:41:00.000-08:00

They are people who pondered and asked why certain tragic events in life occurred to them. The events can be the loss of loved ones, loves ones leaving them, handling rejections from work and overcoming massive obstacles such as injury. It can be a daunting task going through such experiences but you realized that those who are willing to overcome the odds ultimately achieve success in their life.

Let us take a look at the following. Tom, a young guy in his early twenties, who has computer design skills, has finally found the courage to find a job. It was during the difficult economic recession period. He went for numerous job applications and was rejected. It was only after six months that he finally landed a job in small design company. Tom was excited and nervous during his first day. He was glad that finally he has a job. His day started slowly and his workload piled up, Tom also realized that he has no mentor. He was given task beyond his ability and skills. He found it difficult to adapt to the new pace. "This is only my first day at work", he said to himself.

Finally, after 4 hours in job, Tom boss realized that he can barely managed the pace of the work. He called Tom into his office. He told Tom that he is not needed anymore. As Tom headed back home, he could not believe at the turn around of his life. Everything was well before. Now, he is facing failures after failures. Tom found it hard to accept it and broke down. But he was lucky to have supportive loved ones who encouraged him to keep going.

Tom did not give up. He kept on going. He realized that he wants to help nurture the young to learn from failures and be determined to achieve success in life. He found education as a wonderful tool to develop the young generation. He started by giving it back for free or minimal education fees for his services to educate them. After a few months, he decided to educate the young on a bigger scale. He went to various institutions to apply for a job there but he received countless rejections again. Finally after the umpteen times of trying, he finally landed a job that enabled him to contribute immensely to the young.

Tom still does face mistakes and failures in his attempts to inspire the young but this time around Tom with great experiences, realized failures are part of success. In fact, Tom uses it effectively to explain to the young about learning from your failures to keep going to achieve success in life. Tom felt that his past failures were actually paths leading to his definition of success. His moments of great satisfaction became a reality when one of the young he shared his experiences with said to him. " Mr Tom, you are so kind and I want to thank you for your sharing and inspiring us to have the courage to achieve success and dreams in life". That moment he realized that his past tragic incidents in life opened the door for his current success in life. It was a moment to treasure.

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Md Abd Rauf Bin Md Yusope is an Internet Marketer in Home Business and Personal Development.

Secrets Of Success - Top 10 Beliefs For The Bottom 90 Percent

2007-11-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

Successful people use empowering beliefs all the time and their beliefs carry something in common, even though some may seem flawed at times. (I know someone who says this to himself every day, "Man! I'm so sexy, I'll attract men and women both the same")

However, if you look carefully at their beliefs, you will realise that all of them use words that put them in control. Most importantly, they are specific.

Conversely, you can derive a pattern from not so successful people's daily dosage of self-affirmed beliefs. You can identify them quite easily. Let us take a look at the tell-tale features of those not so useful beliefs:

For example, "my manager does not do his job" and "Mr Johnson's classes are a waste of time" or "I can never understand that". Pretty depressing statements, don't you think?

The above examples contain three big "no-no's" for any beliefs, like all limiting beliefs.

These beliefs leave you feeling powerless and without control. Notice how the manager and Mr Johnson are made to seem that they are in control of the situation instead of the protagonist. Notice the absence of words such as "I am", "I can" or "I must"? Use these powerful words more often to take control of your life.

Those beliefs are too brief. Can you tell what is the manager doing wrong or how is Mr Johnson conducting his class? Be specific! If those beliefs are more specific, it is easier to identify any flaws and correct them.

Those beliefs are self-limiting and these are the worst of their kind! By putting yourself down with words such as "I can never understand that", you are not just surrendering your control, but also sabotaging your potential for improvement. You will resign to your fate and shut your mind towards better opportunities for growth.

Now let us examine some of the top ten most common limiting beliefs and how to counter them. If you realise you have more than two of them, perhaps it is time to re-examine your life.

1. I am too young/old now.

I'm young and vigorous. This is my advantage and I can do everything in the world. I've seen the world and possess invaluable experiences. This is my advantage and I can handle whatever comes my way.

2. Work will always be there, I'll start on it tomorrow. (procrastination)

I must set aside a specified amount of time every day and focus 100% within that specified amount of time.

3. I'll probably just fail anyway, why waste my effort?

I am capable of learning everything about this new field. I must ask the relevant people and consult the relevant sources when in doubt and always stay focused on what works!

4. If my idea is so fantastic, someone else has probably thought about it and used it.

Speed is the only protection for my ideas, I must act on it quickly and fully before anyone else does it better than me.

5. My family/friends have invested too much in me; I should not change my decisions now, it will disappoint them too much.

I am blessed to have supportive family/friends, but I must let them understand my stand and do my best to prove to them that I'm right.

6. My schoolmate/colleague is a genius, there is no way I can ever surpass them. Since I can't, I might as well give up now.

I am lucky to have someone to show the standard. I will learn from her and persevere.

7. If life is so fair, why do roses have thorns? I am utterly worthless.

I have my own undiscovered potential and I must try out everything life has to offer. I will find my innate strength!

8. My preparation is not perfect, the timing is wrong; I should wait a little longer before I start.

I must start today to work towards being successful, and not wait till I'm successful to start (waiting to be successful to start is a catch-22 anyway).

9. Paris Hilton should be jailed for two months and Beckham should venture into table tennis!

I must mind my own business and focus on my priorities.

10. I am unworthy of owning/doing/undertaking/being this.

I have all it takes to own/do/undertake/be this and others recognize it. I will prove that their trust is placed in the right person.

Remember the following words of wisdom:
If life gives you durians, make durian cakes! If your boss gives you headaches, take aspirin (or some alternative "organic" treatment of choice) and then sell your supply of aspirin to your similarly headacheridden colleagues. If you give yourself poor beliefs, change them, one at a time.

Amazing! FREE e-Book Reveals How You Can Wipe Out All Your Limits & Achieve Your Inherent Unlimited Potential For Wealth, Success & Happiness In Only 30 to 60 Seconds From Now! Only @ Ultimate Secrets of Success

Growing Pains - Ways to Know If You Are Emotionally Immature

2007-11-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

All of us get old, but sad to say only a few grow up to be mature individuals. You might say that by 21 you are already a full-grown man or woman who is a lot wiser than those who are younger. But before you boast of your seniority by telling people around that you are already ripe for the picking, take time to read the following scenarios to know if you had really grown up or had just grown old.

Independence Day. You are in a mall full of people when you realized that you are the only person who's walking alone. A feeling of self-pity swept over you and tears started forming in your eyes, just waiting to fall. You started walking fast with head low while frantically texting your friend to hurry up at your rendezvous. If this scene sounds familiar and if you can very well relate to it, then welcome to the "Baby Sitter's Baby Club." The thought of being alone in a place full of people and eating by your lonesome in a fast food probably scares you, which isn't supposed to be the case. Mature people are self-confident enough to be alone in public because they don't acknowledge it as a sign of weakness.

Can Hardly Decide. You are on a long queue to get your college application form. A few minutes later, you find yourself staring at the form, specifically on the field where you have to write down your preferred course. You immediately turned to your best friend who is busy filling up her form. "Hey, what course are you going to take?" "I'll be taking up Journalism, you?" "Oh! I still don't know, what do you think should I take up? Can I just take up your course instead so that we'll still be together in college?" Relying on someone to make decisions for you is a clear-cut sign that you are still emotionally immature. Grow up kid! You can't rely on anybody to make the decisions for you all the time. You need to figure out what's best for you and quit mimicking other people. For instance, you should place it upon yourself to determine whether you should join the drama club or not.

That thing you do. There's an office project that you have chosen to involve yourself in. During the presentation of your assignment, the big boss noticed many things that he disliked and kept on dissing you and your work. All of a sudden, you defended yourself by justifying that it was not your fault since you were just a member and not the leader. That is such a childish thing to do! Whether you are the leader or the lowest ranking member in a group, everyone involved in the task are considered to be responsible for everything. Putting the blame on other people just to clean up your name is an obvious indication that you are still an immature person who can't handle criticisms. Therefore, you have the propensity to pass on the accountability to others.

Me, Myself, and I. Your friend, who had just arrived from Paris, can't help but gab about how her trip went. It seems that all eyes and ears are on her so you interrupt with your own version of "how Paris is so last season and New Zealand is the new 'in' thing." Before you turn into a green-eyed monster, pause for a while and remind yourself that your self-centeredness can be irritating to others. For once, go down the stage and let other people bathe in the spotlight. You can't have the limelight all the time.

Charlotte Hunter operates the SelfHelpWarrior website community for people who wish to improve all aspects of their lives. We have many free ebooks, reports, articles and special offers to help improve self esteem and self confidence. Pop over to the http://www.selfhelpwarrior.com site and see for yourself how we have helped thousands of people.

Are You The Star of Your Own Movie?

2007-11-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that when people answer their cell phones in public, their voice suddenly raises several octaves?

Why do people feel the need to talk as though they are stuck in a wind tunnel and the only way to give the listener the most valuable of all information is to talk so loud as if their life depends on it?

This is something that has always confused me. It never fails, as soon as you walk into a store or a restaurant, someone will get a phone call and go from a normal inside talking voice to that of an obnoxious celebrity that needs to tell all their fans and paparazzi what is happening.

I think the public cell phone call makes the talker feel like they are starring in their own movie and all the people around them are just "extras" or "fans" getting a glimpse into your life.

Since you are the star of the movie, you have to "over" talk, make yourself sound WAY more important then you really are, or laugh louder than normal to entertain your audience.

It's almost as if the cell phone gives people a feeling of importance and empowerment that otherwise doesn't exist. The public phone call is your opportunity to "show off" your power, control, humor, stature, popularity, or any other role that is otherwise lacking in your normal daily life.

When the phone rings, your fifteen minutes of fame begins.

I'm going to burst your bubble just a little bit. It's not fun to be an "extra" in someone else's movie. It is actually really annoying and somewhat inconsiderate of others around you.

Now I have to admit, from time to time I have actually been entertained by the "I'm so important talker." For some reason, I gain enjoyment from listening to people talk about how they are thinking about quitting their job and how their company will really miss their valuable input when they are gone, yada, yada, yada speak. Or my personal favorite is the "I'm gonna tell my boss off talker".

This is always funny for me. I love the people that tell other people how they either told their boss off or that they are going to. I am willing to bet very few of those "telling your boss off" conversations ever really happen, so it always perks up my ears when I hear that kind of talk.

I realize that most of these conversations take place in more of a "blowing of steam" manner, but when they happen on the cell phone in public, they are always in the harsh factual power tone so their audience gets the impression they are a real force on their job. I think it is the ego boost that derives from other people hearing of your importance is the real reason for this kind of talk.

The thing about being the "loud cell phone talker guy" that impacts likeability is simple. You lose credibility when you talk "big" talk or you are obviously making yourself seem over important.

It really means that you may lack the internal confidence to not need this extra ego boost to always perform at a high level. Aside from that, you never know who is in your audience, perhaps it is someone that knows you or works with you. Maybe it is a manager at a company you would like to work for and you show up for an interview and they remember you as the annoying loud talker.

The best rule of thumb here is when your phone rings in a public setting, walk away from the majority of people and have your conversation somewhat privately. If you need to yell to have your listener hear you, get a new cell phone.

Curt Fletcher, is the author of several books about increasing your likability, selling homes, creating success, and improving your life. His goal is to help people gain confidence in their own abilities and maximize their full potential in creating success, wealth and happiness. To book Curt for a meeting, conference, or event, contact Curt Fletcher Success Strategies via email curt@thelikeabilityguy.com - http://www.thelikeabilityguy.com/

10 Steps to Improving Self-Esteem

2007-11-13T09:20:00.000-08:00

Self-esteem is a small word, but its condition has the biggest impact on your daily life. Whether your self-esteem is high or low, it impacts your moods and actions when dealing with people. It also affects how people treat you in return. By adopting a few of these simple esteem boosters, you can learn to be a happier person, confident to control your own destiny.

Say No to Negativity. Negative emotions such as anger, frustration, envy, blame and impatience are normal in small doses. You are allowed to experience these emotions, but give yourself a time limit to stay with them. When your time is up, stay STOP! out aloud and choose to cancel the thought or feeling and replace it with a positive one. Browse through motivational blurbs at GreatDay.com to counteract negative feelings.
Laugh Out Loud. Open your clown chakra, a psychic energy point located between the belly-laugh chakra and the milk-spurting-out-the-nose chakra. Do this by taking a deep breath and belly-laughing (with or without milk) for five minutes straight. Laughter empowers you in hopeless situations and gives you a sense of control when things around you seem crazy. If you can laugh at your situations you can survive the terrible things that happen to you.
Perform Random Acts of Kindness. Sharing abundance and goodwill makes people happy and gives you a warm feeling of satisfaction. Usually RAOK are your own personal secret, but don't limit yourself to private acts only. Pay the road toll of the car behind you, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or tip the author of this column. Zillions of RAOK suggestions are listed at the RAOK website -- you can even start your own web-page here to share your achievements!
Give Your Inner Critic a Tea Break. If you get a compliment, learn to say Thank you! Don't brush it away because that's how you've been taught to handle a compliment. If you're not getting any, start handing them out. As "what goes around comes around" you will soon enjoy receiving plenty in return.
Practice Shameless Affirmations. An affirmation is a short statement (present tense), of how you would like to be now. Make it a habit to repeat the affirmation sincerely and often. When your psyche hears, over and over again, how valuable you are as a person, you will start to believe it and manifest your state of mind. Visit Affirmations Central for a comprehensive list of affirmations to choose from.
Choose How You Respond to people and situations. You can either hide under the Rock of Denial and lash out and blame others, or you can behave with dignity, courage and humour. Know that you have the power to choose the image of a happy and confident person. When you are at the crossroads of how you will respond, say out aloud, I choose dignity to help you take a conscious, worthy direction.
Write Your Own Eulogy. This may sound macabre, but by writing a speech about all your great qualities will reinforce all your good aspects. If you have attributes you want included in your eulogy, commit to incorporating them into the way you present yourself to people. Get some ideas from famous epitaphs, last words and obituaries at this Last Words website.
Dress for success. A smile is the first thing someone notices about you. To create a fabulous first impression, show your pearly whites in a dazzling smile to sweep people off their feet. Clothing-wise, respect yourself by dressing and grooming in the best manner that will radiate your gorgeous inner self. Listen to your instinct, and dress accordingly. If you're comfortable in your own skin, you'll be at the centre of balance when interacting with other people.
Reminisce. Share a meal with your family or friends and take turns to talk about a funny memory. Start off the story with I remember when... for a great catalyst. Flicking through photo albums are also a great way to trigger memories, not to mention tickle the funny bone just looking at those god-awful fashions! Post your stories and pictures in a weblog (at blogspot.com, for example) so family and friends can read and contribute world-wide.
Spoil Yourself. Reward your good work with a treat, and don't you dare feel guilty about it! Tell yourself you deserve it, and believe it. Curl up on your sofa with a soppy romance, eat a chocolate bar after your tenth gym visit, or let a friend cook you a meal. Don't forget to thank yourself for your efforts -- it's all about appreciating You.

Anita Revel is the creatrix of the stunning "i Goddess" meditation movie that can be viewed at http://www.igoddess.com . She is also a columnist for United Press International, and has written hundreds of articles pertaining to women's wellbeing.

How to Develop A Winning Self-Image

2007-11-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

What is self-image? I've heard many times, "no one sees you like you do" and "no one knows you like you do". I'm not sure that statement is entirely true. It is true that while you know yourself as no one can, many people know you as you can't. Your parents, doctor, schoolteacher, each has a different perception of you. They all see you differently because each sees you through their special interest in you. Each experiences you in varying aspects depending on their personal prospective and interest. They are outside observing whatever image you are projecting in their presence at any specific moment. Their perception of you depends on the circumstances in which you encounter them.

You on the other hand, see yourself from the inside out, the perception you have of yourself depends on how much outside stimuli influences your rational thought. Is self-image simply the way you perceive yourself? You are truly a product of your experiences. You started exactly at the same place as everyone else, as a babe you were virtually free from corruption, and then, over the years you was spoon-fed nutrition or garbage until you become what you are at this exact moment. The old saying "garbage in- garbage out" is true to a great degree. Maybe a few people have inherent bad traits, which can be eliminated when recognized and addressed. The dilemma comes when people think they are in control and never recognize they have a problem. They go through life feeding into their existing fracture or fault until it becomes a full-fledged earthquake. They turn from reality and build on their false perceptions of self gratification.

There is no doubt that - from time-to-time - a person's character will be challenged by unsupportive people. Don't allow them to undermine your purpose and cause damage to your self-worth. You have the God given power and fortitude to meet any challenge and defeated it. Never say, "I give up". God equips those who are willing and pure in heart.

1 Co 9:24-- Know ye not that they that run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? Even so run; that ye may attain.

You are responsible for your own actions and as such should examine your reality as it relates to God, other people and your environment. Are you uniquely different than anyone else? A little different or average? Are you above the norm or below it? Do you fit in with other people? Do you experience rage, anxiety, fear, compassion, over zealousness, rejection, or depression? You must first find out "who you are" and "where you are" before you can began to find out "what you are". You have to establish a base or starting point. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What drives you to passion? What turns you off? Like a mechanic, you have to find the problem before you can fix it. You can't change if you don't know what to change. Once you know what to work on, then you can begin a process of remission. But what do you look for? Your self-image is one of the hardest things you will ever encounter to understand or change. It challenges your belief system right down to reality itself. If you don't get rid of the garbage, the whole self will continue to decay until nothing is left. Examining your inner-self brings questions that are hard to face and deal with. To go forward you must know the truth, for only then are you set free.

Could the world be only a stage, and we are simply actors?

The concept of self-image plays a vital part in your drive toward Personal freedom. As you travel the highway of abundance your self-image will change and mature and grow in its' realization of its character. With this newfound self-concept you will endeavor to expand your goals until your dreams and desires rise to new horizons that you never imagined. You will be more positive and have a renew outlook on life. Simply put, you will be "reborn" into a new and exciting creation. Actors in a play, immerse themselves into characters total being. In essence, they actually become that character while in that role. Life is the same way it is like a role that people are acting out. In time, they become what they believe others perceive them to be. Family, persons of influence, society in general, social contacts, sexes, culture, region, peer pressures, church family, careers, all serve to shape an individuals character. External manipulation of the physi is a molding process of mental thought. This process is embraced by most as the norm, and goes undeleted and unrealized. Everything from how you look, to what you eat, comes under scrutiny by marketing people who are constantly calling into question what is expected and deemed reality. Reality as we perceive it to be is a false visualization of expatiations brought on by external stimuli. We are shown the carrot, and expected to chase it. If we don't, then the fault lies in us. I'm here to say, if you allow others to mold you into a stereotype then be happy in your role, because a stereotype you will always be.

"Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life."
---Ralph Waldo Emerson

While "total rebirth" is a state of being many may dream of it is not experienced by many. For instance, a lot of wealthy people start at a level that a great deal of us strive for all our lives. It's because they were born into into a particular situation and continued to experience it throughout their lives. They are exposed to and taught success principals from birth. They develop a particular winning attitude because their image of the world is one of plenty. When you don't have the background or resources then you are dependent on yourself to recognize the problem and eliminate it. If you see yourself as a failure than you will be one. On the other hand, if you see yourself as successful, then you will have the desire for success and the drive to see it through. I once knew a man who was a millionaire one year and broke the next. He always gravitated toward success, no matter the probabilities. It was just his nature. He never seen himself as a failure, only challenged. He played the game like a true athlete.

Self-image provides the individual personality with the ability to examine the possibilities without reservations. It is the ability to accomplish and achieve and perform in a competitive atmosphere. People with high a self-image demonstrate a fighting disposition without self-seeking. Many times people unknowingly place roadblocks and deterrents that hamper the personal progress of self-image. A weaker self-image when faced with a daunting task, will make excuses to keep from performing it. This is a safety switch for the weak self-image. The reasoning being, if there is a valid excuse to not perform, then there is no possibility of failure. It's only when a person is well grounded in knowing him/herself that he/she can face challenges without fear. Sometimes it's the fear of success that switches the individual off and then becomes a mindset. Once the mind has determined its' safest position, or comfort zone, it will continually gravitate toward that posture.

Childhood encounters with authority figures, influence from peers and siblings are a great factor in determining the final physiological outcome of an individual. Later in life, social standards, morals, and values are brought to bear; which influence the ability to decipher correct positioning. Because negative mind invasions are introduced so subtly and at such an early age, they become characteristics of the personality. Character develops attitudes, which in turn projects perceptions. Thus the personality develops through this erosion or inclusion process. Either negative or positive is being added or subtracted to the physi according to the amount of external pressures brought to bear. This process is ongoing throughout the person's life. In any given situation, either you are influencing someone or they are influencing you. Thousands of small signals are transmitted between people even if they don't make contact. Body movements, posture, emotion, appearance, dress, colors, smells, all play a part in the interaction process between people. Your personality is a reflection of the total perception or judgment of all this information as it relates to you. Because you are an accumulation of years of external input you comprehend your surroundings in an individualistic manner. You not only look different than anyone else, you also think different. You must see yourself free from material influences as an independent, unique person - who was created in God's own image. Toss off the shackles of past fears and step into the true you, the inner you.

Donald Yates is a published author and motivational speaker. Donald hales from So. California and now resides in East Tennessee. He has been married for forty-six years with a herd of grandchildren. Donald's passion is writing and now that he is retired he can peruse it.

http://clean4profit.com

The Secret to Earning Respect and Being Promoted - Dress Nice

2007-11-10T07:46:00.001-08:00

My buddy and I were discussing today how much different we are treated when we dress up instead of just being normal. In college, it seems like no one really dresses up or cares what they look like, and everyone looks like they are walking around asleep. But when dressing up, we have discovered that we are treated differently.

My buddy mainly focused his results on women, and while I have definitely had better results with dressed up, I have observed more how I am treated by everyone. If I am talking to a professor, in general they will listen more intently and be more focused on what I am saying if I look nice, where if I am dressed more casual the professor is just like whatever and acts like they don't care about what I'm saying. My buddy got several numbers from girls today and said that he had girls hitting on him all day. Many of the changes I noticed were little things, but in my opinion they matter and I'll explain why.

I have noticed a difference in how many greetings I get from people. For instance, if I'm walking down a hall or getting on a bus, normally people would just dart their eyes away so there wouldn't be an awkward situation but when I'm dressed up people seem to make eye connection and say hi and introduce themselves. It is as if me dressing up is the difference between people noticing me or not. I consider this a big deal, because I don't want to be invisible. I think that everyone likes to be noticed, and chances are you will meet many more people if people notice that you are present instead of you being just another person.

Let me clarify what I consider dressed up. Most people in college walk around in t-shirts and shorts or sweat pants. To class they will wear jeans and maybe dress up a little bit more. In my opinion, dressing up is just going a level higher than everyone else is. My buddy wore pinstripe pants and a dress shirt, but I just started fixing my hair and wearing stylish jeans and shirts instead of a hat and the first clothes that I saw that morning.

So try dressing up the next time you go somewhere and pay attention to the way people act around you. Do the same thing we did, you and a friend dress up and then discuss your results later. I think you will be surprised at how much a little change like clothing or fixing your hair instead of a hat can make.

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Find more great articles on my blog!
http://tipsfromacollegestudent.blogspot.com/

Uniqueness - Let's Learn to Celebrate Ours!

2007-11-10T07:41:00.000-08:00

"When you affirm your own rightness in the universe, then you co-operate with others easily and automatically as part of your own nature. You, being yourself, help others be themselves. Because you recognize your own uniqueness you will not need to dominate others, nor cringe before them." - Scott Reed

"As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others." - Robert H. Schuller

If you have ever studied and/or read about marketing, selling or self promotion, you have certainly been told about USPs. Your USP is your "Unique Selling Proposition." It is what makes you different from everyone else out there. I have noticed, however, how difficult it is for most of us to determine our uniqueness, even though I know that we are all unique.

I think that part of the problem goes back to the peer pressure we experience from babyhood on. If we are too unique and/or different from the norm, peers, parents, teachers and relatives often try to force us into the "accepted" mode. We are also told to "model" those we want to be like to be successful.

Don't get me wrong. I have learned a huge amount from successful gurus. And, yes they have taught and lead me well. I will continue to listen to them on audios and read their books, but I feel strongly that I need to take what they teach and apply what works for me in my way. If we all try to do everything the same way, what a boring world it would be.

Back in the 70s, I returned to college for an M.F.A. in fine arts. My mediums were clay and fiber. I even opened my own art school, studio and gallery where I held classes, did my work and sold artwork. To help keep afloat financially, with the help of my children, I entered art shows and craft fairs.

My work was unique. We discovered early on that potential buyers either hated it, or loved it and bought it. Often a husband would love a piece and say he was going to get his wife to show her the work. This usually resulted in the "kiss of death." She would hate it. It was even the same with art shows. If the work was accepted, it would usually win an award.

This did bother my children. I tried to convince them that I would rather that people felt strongly about the uniqueness of my work, than to just purchase it because it was so like everything else they were used to.

I am not suggesting that being bizarre is a good idea. I am submitting to you that you should celebrate your uniqueness and your unique gifts. Be yourself. Be your own person. Here are some quotations that I hope you will take to heart:

"What you have, what you are - your looks, your personality, your way of thinking - is unique. No one in the world is like you. So capitalize on it." - Jack Lord
"If you want to be truly successful invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere your success will blossom." - Sydney Madwed
"Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone's task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it." - Viktor E. Frankl

I urge you to think hard about your uniqueness, and then pursue it - even if it is different from the way everyone else does what they do. Take to heart the next two quotations by Al Lewis and Martha Graham. It often takes guts to be your unique self, but it is worth it!

"But find something that you absolutely love doing. And then get to love the way you do it. That's the uniqueness of all of us. That's it." - Al Lewis

"You are unique, and if that is not fulfilled, then something has been lost." - Martha Graham

Chris King is an entrepreneur, professional speaker, storyteller, writer, website creator / designer, free agent, and fitness instructor. Sign up for her eclectic E-newsletter, Portfolio Potpourri, at http://www.freelanceliving.com You will find her information-packed E-book How to Leave Your Audiences Begging for MORE! at http://www.OutrageouslyPowerfulPresenter.com and her business website at http://www.CreativeKeys.biz

No Point In Waiting Til The Eleventh Hour If You Only Live Til Half Past Ten

2007-09-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

On returning home one evening, from a very pleasant social occasion, with people who were in high positions in the land, I said to my wife, “This would be such a lovely world if it were not for sin!”

One of the saddest sentences in the entire Bible is to be found in Genesis Chapter 6 and at verse 6. God is sorry that He made man. That was one sad and tragic situation, but it happened to be true!

God's emotions have been touched and hurt. He created man, and placed man in the world to enjoy it and to be in control, but things have gone terribly wrong.

When certain situations get out of hand, we tend to say - 'O boys will be boys' - or - 'let bygones be bygones'. God does not act like that in the circumstances we are reading of here, and there are no half measures with GOD.

GOD is merciful and righteous and Hr deals with situations as they really are - punishment for sin, and pardon for those who believe.

There is one man resisting the pressures of society - one man married to one wife. We read that Noah enjoyed 'grace' or favour with GOD. The Lord has favourites – in the sense of those upon whom His favour rests. Be one of them. This is wonderful thing to see in the Word of God.

He is no respecter of persons. If someone comes along with their long list of things they have done - or if they have come along boasting of who they are - it is as if God is deaf and blind, but when HE sees a man like Noah, His grace goes out.

This is the first time the word GRACE is used in the BIBLE.

Wherever there is the judgement of God, grace and mercy are close. When man is at his worst, then God appears at His Best. God loved to look at Noah. Look at that man. He is just - full of integrity - upright - sincere.

Noah was a man who walked with God - in step with God - in the Will of God - enjoying communion with God the Father. As he walked with God, he was walking against all the moral pollution and corruption of his day.

We are told in Peter’s second letter in the New Testament, that Noah was a preacher - a preacher of righteousness. Noah was concerned about others, but hardly anybody listened. Seven did. Seven believed the truth.

Verses 11 and 12 describe what the world was like. It was corrupt in the sight of God - filled with violence - sacred things were trampled on - honesty and morality had vanished.

The society which God destroyed had already destroyed itself. See that clearly. Check all this out for yourself in the Bible. Do not take my word for it.

God judges SIN in whatever form it manifests itself - but - there is a way of escape - and it is God in His Mercy and Love who offers the way of escape.

One day, He is going to put everything right. Why does He not put things right now? Because, in His mercy He is giving men time to repent and put themselves right, but do people want to be put right?

We must ever thank Him for His patience. God has a plan of salvation, and He has a place of refuge. He had an Ark of safety and security prepared for the time of the Coming Judgement.

Noah is told to build an Ark - box - chest. It is built for floating - not for speed nor for travelling. The dimensions are perfect. The designer of the Canberra, John West, based his dimensions on those of the ARK - for safety and stability - and the QE2 liner is designed along these same dimensions, and modern oil tankers have followed similar dimensions.

Computers apparently had discovered that for stability and security, a ship is best when it is SIX times longer than it is broad – these are the precise dimensions of the Ark.

Wood is durable, and durable wood is preserved and made watertight, and it is coated with a covering.

The ARK is unsinkable.

God tells Noah what to do. Can you imagine this preacher of righteousness being laughed at and mocked and ridiculed? There had never been a Flood. As far as we can tell it had never even rained!

Can you imagine what a cartoonist would have made then of dear Noah?

When people laugh at those of us today who know and believe in and seek to obey Jesus Christ - remember - we are preparing for the future. How are you preparations for the future progressing? Do not leave it too late.

There is no point of deciding that you will leave til the 11th hour if you only live til half past ten.

Sandy Shaw

Sandy Shaw is Pastor of Nairn Christian Fellowship, Chaplain at Inverness Prison, and Nairn Academy, and serves on The Children's Panel in Scotland, and has travelled extensively over these past years teaching, speaking, in America, Canada, South Africa, Australia, making 12 visits to Israel conducting Tours and Pilgrimages, and most recently in Uganda and Kenya, ministering at Pastors and Leaders Seminars, in the poor areas surrounding Kampala, Nairobi, Mombasa and Kisumu.

He broadcasts regularly on WSHO radio out of New Orleans, and writes a weekly commentary at http://www.studylight.org entitled "Word from Scotland" on various biblical themes, as well as a weekly newspaper column.

His M.A. and B.D. degrees are from The University of Edinburgh, and he continues to run and exercise regularly to maintain a level of physical fitness.

Sandy Shaw
sandyshaw63@yahoo.com

Make Your Haters Your Motivators

2007-09-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

Diversity is important in all areas of life. A great financial portfolio has a diverse set of assets so it can profit in any financial environments. A great carpenter carries a diverse set of tools so every construction need can be met. A great business employs a diverse group of people who can understand, no – feel, the diverse needs of every corner of its customer base. Similarly, people who have great success require a diverse set of skills. The greatest among us live on a mission, committed to getting better every day despite or, better yet, because of all the challenges they will face. Sure, we would all rather play all of our games “at home” on a familiar field surrounded by stands packed the fans that show us the most love. However, we often must play the game of life before hostile crowds. Just like the carpenter needs the screwdriver and the hammer equally, your success plan needs to thrive equally on love and hate. You need to be able to make your haters your motivators.

A hater is someone who gets joy from witnessing your failure. Said differently, a hater does not enjoy seeing you have success. Because haters get their joy from seeing you fail, playing on their terms is a no-win situation for you. Your haters will only be happy if you are failing, pleasing them is obviously self-destructive. This is not nearly as self-destructive, however, as keeping haters on your “home team” and succeeding despite them. In this case, your haters will be forced to step up their hate game until they end your season for good. A hater is a threat to any and every positive move you make toward success because your success threatens his or her joy.

Further, it is not always easy to spot “hater-ation,” as Mary J. Blige would say, because sometimes it comes at you by surprise. Hate sometimes appears in your life as a monkey wrench in your engine thrown by “friends” and even family members. Naively, many people feel that they can simply avoid or ignore those who mean them harm. In their time of indecision, these people find their plan for haters is no plan at all, which often leaves them wide open to their haters’ attacks. Haters, if you let them, will make themselves at home in your mind, keeping you stuck in self-doubt and far from success. And yet, you must make your haters a part of your success plan. What? A carpenter would not go to the job without a hammer because their may be nails there that need pounding. In the same fashion, given that haters are an inevitable part of life, you may need to lay the hammer yourself, making your haters a part of your success rather than your demise.

In order to reach your highest potential, you have to get and stay motivated every day. Some days, the work of greatness will come easily to you. You will be so enamored with the worth of your mission that you will be able to push forward with ease. Some days, however, your motivation will wane, your step will drag, and your courage will weaken. These are the days in which you may need to use every trick in your book to stay motivated. These are the days in which haters are the most useful to you. Your haters are waiting for you to quit, waiting for you to admit that they were right all along about you. Will you let them have the satisfaction? Your haters are on standby waiting to stand over you after you’ve fallen from the mountain up which they were too frightened or too lazy to climb. Will you sit still for the diss? Your haters are trying to take food off your table and give you a backhanded slap on the way out. Will you stand for it?

On the days when the thought of your righteous mission is not enough to amp you up, think about your haters. They’re not right about you! They have no business standing over you dissing your game! And if they try to take what yours, you’ll take it back, ‘cause it’s like that! Use your haters to get back on your game. Steal your haters’ joy by staying on a winning path.

No one wants to think about haters. We would all rather ignore them and go about our business. However, if you love your greatness, you will make sure that nothing ever stands in your path. Don’t get caught being the carpenter without a hammer in his box. Though you should never, ever have haters as a playbook-carrying member of your squad, but be sure to use them to keep your mind right for success. Put all that hate to good use!

Brian McClellan is the cofounder and CEO of BAMSTRONG Presentations, the author of The Real Bling: How to Get the Only Thing You Need, a Sherian Publishing title, and a powerful motivational speaker. To learn more about Brian, please visit www.bamstrong.com